Staying Married...and Loving It; How to Get What You Want from Your Man without Asking

Overview

Marriage is not an end—it's a beginning. Yet, despite commitment, care, and communication, a marriage will sometimes falter. When it does, the good news is that it can be made wonderful again. Following her landmark Getting to "I Do", Patricia Allen, the "Love Doctor" to over five thousand happily married couples, shares her proven methods for making a marriage come alive with love, passion, intimacy, and openness.

Dr. Allen's methods are so simple and basic as to be ...

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Overview

Marriage is not an end—it's a beginning. Yet, despite commitment, care, and communication, a marriage will sometimes falter. When it does, the good news is that it can be made wonderful again. Following her landmark Getting to "I Do", Patricia Allen, the "Love Doctor" to over five thousand happily married couples, shares her proven methods for making a marriage come alive with love, passion, intimacy, and openness.

Dr. Allen's methods are so simple and basic as to be revolutionary. In each of us there is masculine energy, which leads, provides, and cherishes; and feminine energy, which follows, respects, and responds, sexually and lovingly. In a modern marriage, where freedom of choice can be perplexing, these energies must blend and flow together. They must complement each other; they must not compete. Once we acknowledge our individual energies and learn to communicate appropriately the ground is set for a truly satisfying marriage—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780688052911
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 4/23/1997
  • Edition description: 1 ED
  • Pages: 272
  • Product dimensions: 6.47 (w) x 9.60 (h) x 0.91 (d)

Read an Excerpt

In the old days, men were men and women were women, but this is no longer true. Today we have multiple choices, and we need new concepts if we are to mate and marry and stay married. With poor role modeling by divorced parents, and conflicting media images of maleness and femaleness, men and women are creating a mixture of old traditions and new-age values to the confusion of everyone. Western culture has traditionally cast men as the protectors, leaders, and predominant doers. Men have traditionally proposed to women, have conferred status upon women, and have been the security providers. Women, on the other hand, have been the domesticators, the followers, the recipients-they have made themselves available to the life plans of men and have been responsive to male needs. Maleness, in this scheme, is the pragmatic, functional way in which we handle work and initiate action. It is verbal, centered in the left lobe of the brain. Femaleness is the passive, the receptive, the emotional centered in the right lobe of the brain; it can be represented as nonverbal energy. Its function in traditional terms is to serve as an outlet for emotion and a moral brake; it can be seen as the stable center that allows a relationship to develop and be maintained.

Although both male and female elements are vital to the makeup of both men and women, for a relationship to be healthy and successful, they must be reconciled and be complementary. In other words, there can only be one male and one female in every relationship.

Excerpted from Staying Married... And Loving It! Copyright © 1997 by Dr. Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon.

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Table of Contents

Preface
How Dr. Pat Allen Changed Sandra Harmon's Life
1 Why People Aren't Staying Married 3
2 Choose to Be the Masculine or Feminine Energy 9
3 Respect or Cherish 21
4 Three Styles of Marriage 41
5 How to Communicate with Love 55
6 How to Have Great Sex 89
7 How to Deal with Money 113
8 Dysfunctional Families and Problems with Friends and Children 125
9 Switching Roles 141
10 Addictions and Obsessions 151
11 Midlife: When Men Become Women and Women Become Men 173
12 Separation 191
13 Divorce 201
14 Widows and Widowers 213
15 Ten Secrets for Being a Good Wife 217
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