Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
January 1
You are beautifully and wonderfully made.
A while back I decided I needed a mantra of my own. Something that was personal and meaningful that I could tell myself to bring comfort and love as well as root myself in the present moment. The Bible says "you are fearfully and wonderfully made," so I came up with "you are beautifully and wonderfully made." I say it to myself all the time, and it really helps me find peace knowing that I am perfect just as I am and that I don't need anything beyond what I have within me.
Goal: In this new year, come up with a mantra that is just yours. Each day, look in the mirror and repeat it back to yourself.
January 2
One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.
— HENRY MILLER
I've been so blessed to be able to travel so much over these last few years. One of the most profound things I witnessed while traveling was seeing how much we take for granted. I've seen slums where people are walking around without shoes or jackets in the freezing cold. I've been to places where people are working so hard at such physically demanding jobs while making hardly any money. It taught me to value every person on this planet and to not take my job for granted.
Goal: Stay open to anything and take a day (or week) seeing a new part of the world. If you can't afford to take time off work then visit a new neighborhood in your own town. Be grateful for everything you have.
January 3
Every life has a purpose. Share your story and you may help someone find their own.
The reason I decided to become honest about my personal struggles is because the issues that I've dealt with are still taboo to talk about. Self-harm, eating disorders, addiction, and mood disorders are things people aren't always open about. But it's so important that someone starts talking about these issues, so that those who are struggling know that there is help out there. It is my job to be a beacon of hope for the little girl that doesn't have any.
Goal: Stand up for those who can't yet. Give them support and strength.
January 4
Life can be so difficult at times, but fighting through the pain is so worth it. It's better to feel every kind of emotion than not feel at all.
I thought of this quote when I was at my dad's funeral and it's what got me through the experience. I was on such a roller coaster of emotions. In the past I would drink or restrict or find any way possible to avoid the immense pain I was in. People often choose to numb their pain with substances, but it's more courageous to walk through the fire with your eyes open. Instead of numbing my pain by using, I let myself feel all of the emotions that came to me. It was a difficult time in my life, but allowing myself to feel sadness and despair helped give way for the celebration of his life. It allowed me to begin healing in a healthy and honest fashion.
Goal: Allow yourself to feel the one thing you've been pushing away. Call a friend, be vulnerable, and share it with them.
January 5
There are so many beautiful, talented souls in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of your potential.
I've encountered so many people in my life who tell me that I can't do something. Those people are just testing you and you can't let them bring you down. True friends will lift you up and believe in you. Don't allow anyone to tell you you can't live your dream because if you don't believe in yourself then nobody else will.
Goal: Think about one thing you've been holding back on doing and start doing it today. Be fearless.
January 6
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power.
— JIM MORRISON
When I was a kid, I had the biggest fear of throwing up and then I ended up becoming bulimic. Subconsciously, I was acting out my greatest fear. I hated throwing up so much that I brought it upon myself.
Goal: Make sure you aren't living out your fears, but releasing them. Try to remember that there is a purpose for every hardship or opportunity in your life.
January 7
Change your thoughts, change your life.
— LAO TZU
When I was fighting depression, I remember hearing this expression and not understanding it at first. When I decided to implement it in my life, a whole new world opened up for me. Change the negative, self-loathing thoughts to positive, self-affirming ones. When you're positive about yourself and everything around you, you begin to see the world in a different light. Your life today is what you make of it.
Goal: Be mindful of the tone of your thoughts.
January 8
Love is all you need.
— THE BEATLES, "ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE"
This simple lyric holds so much truth. Above all else, love makes everything right. There have been so many times in life when I felt lost and hopeless, but when I come back to the love I have in my heart for my friends and family and for my own life, I feel at peace.
Goal: Let everyone you love know it. Shout it from the rooftops, bake them a cake, write them a letter, or draw them a picture. Don't let them take your love for granted when you have so much to give.
January 9
Go where you are wanted and stray from where you aren't. Surround yourself with positive people and environments.
Don't waste time with people who don't appreciate and value you for everything you have to offer. I know so many girls who keep chasing guys thinking they can change them or friends who don't have their best interests at heart, but it doesn't work that way. One of the keys to lasting relationships and friendships is mutual respect.
Goal: Don't squander your time chasing anyone who has told you they don't want you around. Evaluate all your relationships and weed out the negative ones.
January 10
Don't invalidate your feelings. Honor them.
I used to run and hide from my feelings especially when I felt something that was upsetting, painful, or uncomfortable. But over time I've learned to accept all of my feelings. I know that in order for me to work through them, I must first honor and embrace all emotions. They are a part of me. Therefore they are meaningful and valid.
Goal: Pick a feeling that you're afraid or ashamed of. Feeling fear, anger, or sadness is okay as long as you don't let it define you. Embrace your emotions and remind yourself how valuable they are.
January 11
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
— DR. SEUSS
This is your life — you have everything you need inside you to live the life you have always dreamed of. Take all that you have learned and experienced and create your own reality. The beautiful part about life is that if you don't like where you are, there's always a new moment and a new day to start again.
Goal: Make smart, educated decisions. Encourage yourself to make the choices today for the future you want tomorrow.
January 12
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
— CINDERELLA
As simple as this sounds, it's one of the most profound messages that any of the Disney fairy tales have given us. We can grow up being whoever we want to be — wherever we want to be. If you have a goal, try to go after it with all your heart. Anything is possible.
Goal: Make a wish with all your heart and chase every dream you have. Only you can reach your goals. No one else can achieve them for you.
January 13
Become your own best friend.
Over the years I have had to learn to become my own best friend. There were many nights I spent crying myself to sleep, sad and lonely with almost every given heartache. Over time I realized that I had to learn to comfort myself to overcome the pain. It's a process, and I'm still learning how to do it, but I've gotten so much better. I can honestly say that I am my own best friend.
Goal: Love yourself and treat yourself as you would treat your very best friend. You deserve the same love you give to others.
January 14
It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
— J. K. ROWLING
Each and every one of us has a different beginning to our story. Our lives all start in different places, but when we dedicate our hearts and minds to what we are most passionate about, there is no stopping us. Reward and success are measured by how much you try and how much you receive.
Goal: Be proud of who you are and where you came from. Look forward to wherever it is you are going and who it is you want to be.
January 15
My mama always used to tell me if you can't find something to live for, you best find something to die for.
— TUPAC
Each of us has a purpose on this beautiful earth. What we make of our lives and how we choose to fulfill it is up to us. What is most important is that you have a cause, something you believe in that lights up your life and connects you to your life's purpose.
Goal: Find something in life that makes you get up in the morning, and keep on doing that. Stand up for the things you believe in.
January 16
When your feet start to hurt, placeyourself in someone else's shoes.
It's so easy to get caught up in your own world and let dramas consume you. It's usually difficult to even realize you're doing it because you're so deep in it. This can be dangerous because you can quickly lose touch with reality. Don't invalidate your emotions or hardships, but remember that someone out there has it worse.
Goal: Get some perspective by doing community service or charity work. Make a list of 10–15 things or people you're grateful for — no matter how simple or important they may seem.
January 17
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
— ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
There are people in this life who will take advantage of you and tell you who they think you are. It's up to you what you do with that information. The moment you let people make decisions on your behalf you have given up your dignity. But you can always get it back as long as you remember to connect with your higher power.
Goal: Don't let anyone take advantage or manipulate you. Remind yourself that you're entitled to the life and love you deserve.
January 18
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.
I don't believe in coincidences. I think that things happen the way that they are supposed to. When you really look at and evaluate every experience you've had, it's a direct result of your actions and thoughts.
Goal: Don't fight or wish away unexpected occurrences. In time, and in its own way, it will prove to better your life in some way.
January 19
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.
— ALICE WALKER
When you let people tear you down and say you have nothing to offer, you are giving in to them. You're basically giving them permission by way of submission. Nobody has the right to take your power away — it is yours and yours alone.
Goal: Use the voice that you were given. Shout what you believe in from the top of your lungs. Never let anyone quiet you.
January 20
Nobody but you knows what is right for you, so listen to your instincts.
Listen to that little voice inside yourself, like a loving parent or a good friend. This is the truest part of your soul, the key to your happiness. Sometimes thoughts, fears, or other people get too loud and we can't hear ourselves. Do what you need to do to get back in touch.
Goal: Today, follow what your heart tells you.
January 21
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.
— CORRIE TEN BOOM
I think sometimes people believe that worrying has some kind of productive purpose. Worry sucks all of your energy and joy out of whatever it is you're doing. It's human nature to worry, but when we do it constantly, we run into more problems. It may give you something to do, but you don't get anywhere.
Goal: The next time you are worrying about something, try to remember that you aren't always in control. Instead, do practical things like make a budget or create a schedule. Be proactive and let go of the stress. After all, it won't change a thing.
January 22
Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want and to do what makes you happy.
We aren't robots. What makes us exceptional as human beings is that we have the capacity to feel so many emotions all at once. Even though that can sometimes be overwhelming it's still pretty amazing what our bodies can do. Sometimes I've laughed from crying or cried from laughing. Either way, emotions aren't a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and passion.
Goal: Watch a movie that makes you laugh or listen to a song that makes you cry. Embrace your emotions and be proud of what you feel.
January 23
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
— MARILYN MONROE
I never found out until I went into treatment that I was bipolar. It was there that I learned that bipolar disorder is a mental illness. It's not anything that I can control, which is why I had to get help for it, and for that I'm not ashamed. Everyone is carrying a full wagon, whether it's as simple as a pimple or as severe as mental illness, but when you remember that each of us has our own struggles, you realize that we must come together to help support each other.
Goal: No matter how little a problem may seem, be kind and find support for what you or a friend is dealing with. Look here for some resources to help.
January 24
Our secrets make us sick.
— UNKNOWN
Our secrets can be so toxic and we don't even realize it. I had to learn that keeping things inside me was part of why I wanted to use alcohol and drugs in the first place — to hide from myself. When I started opening up, I started to heal. By talking to someone and expressing how I feel, I'm able to relieve the power of the emotion that's been weighing me down.
Goal: Share something you've been hiding with a close friend or family member. See how much better you feel afterward.
January 25
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.
— ALBERT EINSTEIN
It's so easy to get caught up in wanting success, wealth, and fame. If that's the kind of recognition you seek in life, it won't last because it's not authentic. We are here to be of service, to be of value, and to help others in our own unique ways. Success doesn't define who we are. It's only a reminder of what we can achieve.
Goal: Think about what matters to you and make sure you are doing things for the right reasons and not to please your ego. Make sure your intentions are healthy for you.
January 26
Just do your best and take a rest and sing yourself a song.
— SNOW WHITE
Sometimes there's nothing else you can do but your best. Take the time you need for you and find something that brings you joy. For me it's singing. When I sing or play music I'm able to relieve myself of whatever I'm struggling with. If your passion is playing sports, get outside and play! If you're working too hard, try some meditation or yoga. The important thing is to take care of ourselves.
Goal: Sing out loud today. Make yourself laugh or dance like a fool. Treat yourself to whatever makes you happy. You deserve it!
January 27
Learn from the past and share your experiences with others. Cherish the present and look forward to the future.
There's a difference between hanging on to the past and learning from it. What's done is done, and I realized it's important not to dwell because I can't change what's already happened. But at the same time I want to be mindful of the past and learn from my mistakes and my successes in life. The future excites me too, but at the end of the day, all we have is this moment now and we must cherish and love it.
Goal: Make a conscious effort to live in the present today. When you catch yourself obsessing over the past or worrying about the future just remember you are exactly where you need to be right now.
January 28
I want to grow old without face-lifts. I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I have made.
— marilyn monroe
It's not always easy to feel perfectly comfortable and proud of the skin we are living in. We have days where our skin is bad, our hair isn't right, we feel fat, and we can't find an outfit to make it all work. Every single person feels this way from time to time. It takes courage to love yourself just as you are.
Goal: Discover how refreshing it is to not criticize yourself. Instead of criticizing your body parts, remind yourself how blessed you are to have them.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Staying Strong"
by .
Copyright © 2013 Demi Lovato.
Excerpted by permission of Feiwel and Friends.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
