Staying Together

Staying Together

by William A. Glasser
     
 

Much human misery has its origin in poverty, neglect, abuse, and ignorance. But perhaps the most common human misery is that which occurs in an unsuccessful marital relationship. Countless men and women are competent, productive, caring, intelligent, happy, and successful - except with their partners. Despite the fact that many of the social problems affecting us have… See more details below

Overview

Much human misery has its origin in poverty, neglect, abuse, and ignorance. But perhaps the most common human misery is that which occurs in an unsuccessful marital relationship. Countless men and women are competent, productive, caring, intelligent, happy, and successful - except with their partners. Despite the fact that many of the social problems affecting us have their origins in unhappy marriages, there is little tangible information on how to maintain a successful union. Dr. William Glasser, one of the world's noted psychiatrists and authors, began to think about this subject when his wife told him shortly before cancer claimed her life in 1992: "You won't do well by yourself; I hope you can find someone with whom you will be happy." She was right. After forty-six years of marriage, he wasn't happy by himself, but it was not easy to find someone else. As he began his quest for a new love, Glasser was forced to consider why some marriages succeed and others fail. Staying Together, his deeply personal guide to maintaining a fulfilling marriage, describes how he and his fiancee, Carleen Floyd, have built their relationship. Glasser advises readers on how to create loving and lasting marriages by applying control theory - his theory of how we function psychologically as each of us attempts to control our life - to relationships. The result is a wealth of new information about who would make a compatible partner and how to improve any relationship.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
``There are too many married strangers,'' asserts Glasser, originator of Reality Therapy and the Control Theory. Here he applies his principles to romantic and sexual relationships. Human beings, to be fulfilled, must satisfy one or more of five needs: survival, love, power, freedom and fun. These are genetically based, and not everyone's needs are the same. Thus the interplay of different needs determines whether a match is workable. For example, those with a high need for love should probably avoid those with a strong drive for freedom unless other needs balance out. Although two ``high-power'' people are nearly always ill-matched, according to the author, high-love pairs are not. By determining what makes us happy-our ``quality world''-we can decide how to stop ``choosing'' behaviors in potential partners that lead to misery for both. Included is a test designed to help readers and their spouses discover their needs and thus their compatibility. A thought-provoking addition to the self-help genre. (Apr.)
Denise Perry Donavin
Glasser, author of "Control Theory" (1985) and various books that apply principles of the control theory to business and classroom situations, now applies the same principles to marital relationships. A recent widower, Glasser explains how he applied his psychiatric axiom--" the only person we can control is ourself" --to locating an appropriate spouse. Glasser defines basic human needs (love, survival, power, freedom, and fun) and then elaborates on how an individual's internal rating of these needs make them more, or less, compatible with others. An interesting theory, keenly depicted, and as sensible as any for locating a spouse.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780060172473
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
03/01/1995
Pages:
144
Product dimensions:
5.91(w) x 8.66(h) x (d)

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