The dictionary specifies addiction as a way "to devote or surrender oneself to something habitually or obsessively; behavior that impairs the performance of a vital function(s), a harmful development." Dependency causes you to lose your equilibrium and reason. Below all addictions is a yearning for immediate gratification--to feel great, mighty, worthy of appreciation, and problem-free--and an insistence on discounting the long-range, ...
The dictionary specifies addiction as a way "to devote or surrender oneself to something habitually or obsessively; behavior that impairs the performance of a vital function(s), a harmful development." Dependency causes you to lose your equilibrium and reason.
Below all addictions is a yearning for immediate gratification--to feel great, mighty, worthy of appreciation, and problem-free--and an insistence on discounting the long-range, self-destructive deductions of the behavior.
If you endure a spending addiction, one out-of-control buying spree is never adequate. Local malls and Net shopping sites have a bewitching attractive appeal for you. You gift the most pricey, plushest presents. Your buys reflect how aware you are about all the most voguish brands and designer tags.
When you eat out with acquaintances or business affiliates, you’re invariably the one who takes a firm stand on picking up the tab—whether you are able to afford to, or not.
Despite negative results that unavoidably overtake you-- like guilt, debt, or feeling ashamed and tightlipped about your obsession to purchase things--you discover yourself on yet some other shopping splurge, charging or writing checks for stuff you don’t truly need and might never even use. You might lie about how much you've spent (to yourself and to those near to you), hide price labels and receipts, and do financial flips in an endeavor to juggle your finances and sustain monthly payment demands.
Spending addiction is an effort to attempt to “purchase” happiness—to feel looked up to, to feel recognized, to feel empowered, to push aside distressful feelings, like self-distrust or self-disappointment—and may risk wrecking everything you treasure.
Spending addiction induces “I’ve have to purchase something at once” behavior. Every "cha-ching!" of the register or charge card "Approved!" message makes you feel so great, you receive enough of a chemical charge to drown in. One buy is never adequate. You wish to feel that inebriating "high" over and over, and again--and keep those hen-pecking, disturbing feelings at some distance. And so you go out and purchase something.
Knowledge Is Power
There are chemical couriers called neurotransmitters that convey communication from your brain to throughout your body. When you’re nervous, nervous, or feeling concerned (like when self-critical ideas begin sneaking in), you receive a flood of panic-inducing epinephrine that may feel like undiluted jet fuel.
When something occurs that makes you feel particularly great (like when you purchase something!), you receive a rush of unbelievably satisfying neurotransmitters known as serotonins that feels dandy.
You’ve gotten inebriated by your own conduct. The only thing that feels crucial is to be able to carry on spending--because shopping for and getting fresh stuff makes you feel so great about yourself, about your life story, about everything! Just like the definition for addiction states, you've surrendered yourself to a behavior that’s chronic, obsessive, and impairs your critical functioning.
Spending dependency is a symptom—or blinking warning light--that there are deep-seated feelings you’re attempting to prevent facing. Indulging yourself in buying helps dull those disquieting feelings—for a while.
Each time you attempt to stop the practice of compulsive spending, you discover you have to deal with the disturbing feelings ―cold turkey,‖ and the terror and fear that crops up is nearly unspeakable. Even though you might have called yourself you were going to truly conquer your spending, in an endeavor to feel better quickly, you go on still a different shopping binge.
What feelings may be so painfully terrible that they're capable of placing you on a spending path of self-annihilation? Perhaps you’re afraid that you’re not as magnetic or successful as you would like to be. Maybe your fearfulness stems from trusting that the true you isn’t lovable.
Or perhaps you’re afraid that the window dressing—the ―outer‖ you--you’ve worked so hard to construct and have maintained so fastidiously will collapse, and that other people will then see what, in your brain, is behind that front: that you’re a sham, a fake, a loser.
When you have spending addiction, what you’re really trying to "purchase" is to be liked and looked up to by other people and to not feel devoured by self-doubt and self-disappointment.
It doesn’t matter how much income you have, how successful you are, or what prestige you bear in your community, it’s the inside of you that feels void and trivial. When you’re out there dropping money, that huge emotional ...