Stop Dating Jerks!: The Smart Woman's Guide to Breaking the Pattern and Finding the Love of Your Life

Overview

Get specific, practical relationship advice on how to identify the man you're really looking for in the first place, rather than wasting time and energy in the wrong relationships.
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Overview

Get specific, practical relationship advice on how to identify the man you're really looking for in the first place, rather than wasting time and energy in the wrong relationships.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

The Hartford Guardian
Article about book in cordination with Valentine's Day.
Glamour.com
Glamour.com ran article and mentioned book.
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Book and author mentioned.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781934716045
  • Publisher: Sunrise River Press
  • Publication date: 2/15/2010
  • Pages: 176
  • Sales rank: 1,479,628
  • Product dimensions: 8.90 (w) x 6.00 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Nowinski is an associate adjunct professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut. He was formerly an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, where he was director of clinical services and training for the human sexuality program. In that capacity Dr. Nowinski worked intensively with men, women, and couples on the most intimate aspects of relationships. This work also led to two books. Men, Love, and Sex (Thorsons Publishing Group, 1990) was originally published as Becoming Satisfied: A Man's Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Prentice-Hall in 1980. A Lifelong Love Affair: Keeping Sexual Desire Alive in Your Relationship was published as a hardcover by Dodd, Mead in 1988, and in 1989 as a paperback by W. W. Norton.
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Table of Contents

Introduction: A Book That Doesn't Sell You Short 6

Part 1 Finding Mr. Wrong: The Marketing Approach 9

Chapter 1 Chemistry Lessons 10

The Truth About Chemistry 10

Is it Synchronicity or Just Impulsiveness? 14

Chapter 2 Choosy or Burned Out? 16

A Cautious Man Versus a Burned-Out One 22

Chapter 3 Think Carefully Before "Surrendering" 23

Chapter 4 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places 27

Smiling All the Time is Bad for Your Face 28

The Motivation Behind Cosmetic Surgery 29

Chapter 5 To Shrink or Not to Shrink 31

Avoid Therapy as a Marketing Strategy 31

Look for Your Best Self in a Relationship 32

Part 2 Finding a Good Man: The Selective Approach 34

Chapter 6 Problem Man #1: Mr. Insecurity 36

The Insecure Man is a Complex Man 37

The Importance of Establishing Limits 38

Love Alone Does Not Heal All Wounds 39

Recognize Insecurity 41

Don't Be Tempted by an Insecure Man 42

Don't Believe "It's All Your Fault" 43

Your Capacity to Nurture Can Make You Vulnerable 46

Measuring Insecurity: The Insecurity Inventory 47

What Do I Do Now? 48

Chapter 7 Problem Man #2: The Narcissist 50

Raising a Narcissist 50

Spotting the Underachiever 51

The Gifted Narcissist 54

Why Narcissists Can Be Attractive 57

Measuring Narcissism: The Narcissism Inventory 58

What Do I Do Now? 59

Chapter 8 Problem Man #3: The Beach Boy 60

The Beach Boy Personality 62

Taking Stock of A Beach Boy: The Beach Boy Inventory 70

What Do I Do Now? 71

Chapter 9 Problem Man #4: The Addict 72

Common Characteristics of Addiction 72

The Role of Anxiety and Depression 76

The Subtle Slide from Friendship into Slavery80

Measuring Addiction: The Addiction Inventory 82

What Do I Do Now? 83

Chapter 10 Problem Man #5: The Control Freak 85

The Control Freak: A Personality Sketch 87

Measuring the Need to Control: The Control Freak Inventory 94

What Do I Do Now? 95

Chapter 11 Problem Man #6: The Predator 96

The Predatory Personality 96

Assessing Predators: The Predator Inventory 106

What Do I Do Now? 107

Part 3 Critical Tests for Relationships 109

Chapter 12 Critical Test #1: Empathy 110

Valuing Empathy 110

Measuring Empathy 111

Testing for a Man's Capacity to Empathize 113

Chapter 13 Critical Test #2: Reciprocity 117

Measuring Reciprocity 119

Testing for Reciprocity 120

Chapter 14 Critical Test #3: Generosity 123

Defining the Generous Personality 124

Assessing Generosity 126

Chapter 15 Critical Test #4: Humility l28

Defining Humility 128

Measuring Humility 132

Part 4 Keeping a Good Man Once You Find Him 135

Chapter 16 Keeping Insecurity in Check 136

Strategies for Living with an Insecure Man 137

Lessons Learned 142

Assess Your Options 143

Chapter 17 Striving for Balance with a Narcissist 144

Strategies for Living with a Narcissist 147

Assess Your Options 148

Chapter 18 Make Life with a Beach Boy a Two-Way Street 149

Strategies for Living with a Beach Boy 152

Assess Your Options 154

Chapter 19 Avoiding the Web of Addiction 156

Educate Yourself About Addiction 158

Strategies for Coping with Addiction 159

Assess Your Options 161

Chapter 20 How to Live with a Control Freak 162

Strategies for Managing the Need to Control 163

Have Some Things Your Way 165

Express Your Opinions-See if He Can Agree to Disagree 166

Assess Your Options 166

Chapter 21 Coping with a Predatory Man 168

Strategies for Living with a Predatory Man 171

Assess Your Options 173

Afterword 174

Index 176

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