Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: A Slightly Tarnished Southern Belle's Words of Wisdom

( 39 )

Overview

Celia Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon Line. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover:

*How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disney World (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)
*Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don't hate them because they're beautiful when there are so many other reasons)
*ebay ...

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Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom

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Overview

Celia Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon Line. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover:

*How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disney World (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)
*Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don't hate them because they're beautiful when there are so many other reasons)
*ebay addiction and why "It ain't worth having if it ain't on ebay"
*Why today's children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger issues
*And so much more!

Celia Rivenbark's essays about life in today's South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"This is a hilarious read, perhaps best enjoyed while eating Krispy Kremes with a few girlfriends."
--Publishers Weekly
 
"She kills in the ''Kids'' and ''Southern-Style Silliness'' sections, putting the fear of Mickey into anyone planning a trip to Disney World."
--Entertainment Weekly
 
Praise for Celia Rivenbark and We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier

“Will give you a case of the giggles.”
--New York Daily News

“Warm, witty, and wise, rather like reading dispatches from a friend who uses e-mail but still writes letters, in ink, on good paper.”
--St. Petersburg Times

“Even diehard Yankees will appreciate this wickedly funny collection.”
--Dallas Morning News

“North Carolina doesn’t have a post for a ‘humorist laureate,’ but it should invent one and install Celia Rivenbark.”
--Greensboro News & Record

“I thought I was Southern until I read Celia Rivenbark’s book....What a funny, smart, and irreverent writer she is!”
--Lee Smith, author of The Last Girls

"Laugh-out-loud funny.”
--Cleveland Plain Dealer

“A collection of essays by a woman working in her element…Rivenbark writes with that breezy, irreverent allure that makes so many of these belles legendary.”
---Blue Ridge Business Journal

“An edgy Erma. An Erma dipped in corn-bread batter, wrapped in collard greens, and drawling that she was speeding because ‘my uterus told me to.’ ”
--The Tennessean

“A hoot and a holler.”
--Boston Herald

“I laughed so hard reading this book, I began snorting in an unbecoming fashion.”
--Haven Kimmel, author of A Girl Named Zippy

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312339944
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 9/4/2007
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 301,974
  • Product dimensions: 5.82 (w) x 8.22 (h) x 0.73 (d)

Meet the Author

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark is the bestselling author of Bless Your Heart, Tramp and We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier. She is a humor columnist for McClatchy-Tribune Information Services and lives in North Carolina with her husband and daughter.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 39 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(20)

4 Star

(8)

3 Star

(7)

2 Star

(2)

1 Star

(2)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 39 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2012

    LOVE! Just as laugh out loud funny as the last...

    Her books never let me down! When I need a good laugh-til-I-snort-books, I get it every time! Hilarious "hons". She hits the Southern nail right on the head with the most delicious sarcasm, it's like she sat in on one of my family dys-functions. Can't wait til I get to sit down and read the next one. Keep 'em coming please!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 8, 2012

    Blech

    Blech. Not funny.

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  • Posted January 16, 2011

    Loved it!

    so many funny bits in this book....bought a copy for all my friends

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  • Posted November 2, 2010

    Highly Recommended

    I loved this book! I laughed so very hard and enjoyed every page! If you are a mom it is a must read!

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  • Posted August 22, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Love the Humor!

    I love love love this woman's books her humor is so good! She just tells it like it is in the chapter for the title of this book she writes about when her daughter grows up from 4-6x to size 7-16

    "There must be some mistake," I said. "These are, well, slutty-looking. I'm talking clothes for a little girl in first grade."

    "Thats all we got."

    "But these look like things a hooker would wear!"

    She smiled sadly. "You have no idea how many times I hear that every day."

    I enjoy the way she sees life and agree with her on most of what she writes, I wish I could put it as well as she does! She tackles everything from celebrity moms to the anti-carb movement to bin laden. No subject is safe and Celia Rivenbark will tell it like it is no matter who get offended and I love that about her, like she say I write a humor column not a news story.

    If you enjoy humor (i.e. Dave Barry) or the wit and wisdom of your southern outspoken aunt this book is for you al her books are hilarious I highly recommend them when you are looking for a laugh and some light-hearted reading
    4 ½ Stars

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  • Posted April 25, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Celia has done it again in ~ Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

    I just love the her books. This one did not disappoint. Her way with words and her vast knowledge of Southern mannerisms is just phenominal. I no longer have a 6-year-old but I can so relate with the situations she portrays. I remember talking with my friends and family about how clothing for children has gotten so "adult-like" and Celia goes and writes a book with my thoughts. Get out of my head Ms. Rivenbark! LOL :) She is right on target about the obsessions parents (especially some mothers) have with giving in to their children and getting them eveything they want "by any means necessary." Her comedic prose and essays are just wonderful. If you read no other "chick lit" author this year, I'd say you MUST read a Celia Rivenbark book or two or three or four. Once you've read this one, you'll want to read the rest. It's a pick up, never to be put down until you're finished kind of book. Get it, you won't be sorry!

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  • Posted February 20, 2010

    Hilarious!

    I laughed out out repeatedly, then bought 2 copies to give as gifts to other Southern-Mommy friends. Every single one of Celia Rivenbark's books is funny - but this is my favorite one.

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  • Posted July 10, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    A Good Laugh On Summer Days!

    I picked this book up after reading a sad, teary eyed book in hopes that this would brighten my outlook. And it did! What a wonderful read when you just want to laugh at others!

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  • Posted February 9, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Just a HOOT! (Okay, tone it down, it's more hysterical than hooty.)

    Ms. Rivenbark must channel me...AND my friends. She's smart, quick, and says the things I want to say, or have thought -- am I the ONLY one?!! I guess I'm not! This is one of the very few books I've read in bed that's either had my husband looking at me saying, "WHAT!?" or he's upset because I've woken him up when I couldn't put the book down before turning out the light and burst out giggling or "ha"-ing really, REALLY loudly. It's light, it's smart, it's irreverent (but in the exact same way I'm thinking myself). It's the very first book I grabbed to give to a friend who just had surgery because I KNOW this will make her enjoy the days after surgery, because she will laugh. Thank you, Celia. I've just bought another one of your books ("tramp") and will most definitely buy (and laugh with) the others. You've got yourself a fan. I'd love to do lunch and pick on the current lineup of "stars".

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  • Posted November 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    FUNNY

    This book was pure funny! I know the title is a bit shocking, but it's true! I see some little girls looking older than me, and I'm 15! And the clothes some parents buy for little girls look like the parents are preparing them to work on the corner or become strippers when they grow up. Then when they see their child on the news being arrested for prostitution, they are gonna say, "What happened to her? What went wrong?!" Then I'll say," Hmmmm, maybe it was about 15 or 20 years ago when she was 6 wearing a shirt saying ' Look But Don't Touch'."

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 4, 2008

    Wet your pants funny!!!

    This book was right on the money - I laughed from the beginning to the end. My youngest daughter came in to check on my at one point because I was laughing so hard I was crying. Celia Rivenbark knows how to write about the South because she is a Southern Belle. I read this book over the winter break from school in less than 24 hours. I could not put it down. LOVED IT!!! I can hardly wait for her next book to come out!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2007

    Hilarious!

    I'm not a big reader, but I do live in the south. This is one of the only books that I've bought after just reading the first few pages. After the first story, I was hooked and actually finished the book (I'm a habitual non-finisher of books). If you live in the south, you'll understand. If you don't, it's still pretty funny. It's a nice, light read and will keep you laughing. I intend to buy her other books as well.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 29, 2007

    NOT funny

    I bought this book b/c it looked like a cute book that would be funny, but I was definately wrong. The author tried way too hard to be humorous and it came across as sounding fake. You can tell when someone is naturally funny, and when they try to be and end up sounding desperate. That's exactly what this was. If you want to read it, borrow it at the library. Definately not worth buying.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2007

    Bah, ha, ha! Snort, snort!!!

    This is the funniest book I've ever read. I found myself stopping and exclaiming, 'That is sooo true!' and laughing right out loud!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 20, 2006

    Buy it

    This book says what we all think about people who behave stupidly--- and is as nice as pie doing it. I laughed out loud reading this. A great light-hearted read.

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  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    a reviewer

    These thirty-two essays, which divide into five parts (Kids, Celebrities, Vanity Flares, Huzzzbands, and Southern Style Silliness), are amusing satirical commentaries that use irony to lampoon ¿values¿. Whether it is the horde of politicians who share values with voters during election time (but not year round) or breaking bread with the Disney crowd, each entry humorously places the subject in a contradictory paradoxical light. Celebrity scent or slacker dads who are heroes when they put a toilet seat down, Celia Rivenbark rips the subject using lighthearted (sometimes right hooks ask morality drug czar Bennett losing millions at gambling, or the wannabe first lady ¿ketchup queen¿ meddling with the four year old, etc.) barbs. This is a terrific entreating commentary that reminds readers to ¿go Cheney¿ and look closely at the insincerity in life that leaves this reviewer thinking of changing the name of the Pygmalion Effect to the Bush Effect as he has made Iraq the center of the war on terrorism. --- Harriet Klausner

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    Posted November 10, 2008

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted September 29, 2011

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    Posted December 29, 2010

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 39 Customer Reviews

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