Stop Pretending: What Happened when My Big Sister Went Crazy

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Overview

It happens just like that, in the blink of an eye. An older sister has a mental breakdown and has to be hospitalized. A younger sister is left behind to cope with a family torn apart by grief and friends who turn their backs on her. But worst of all is the loss of her big sister, her confidante, her best friend, who has gone someplace no one can reach.

In the tradition of The Bell Jar, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, and Lisa, Bright and Dark comes this haunting first book told in poems, and based on the true story of the author's life.

2000 Best Books for Young Adults (ALA) and 2000 Quick Picks for Young Adults (Recomm. Books for Reluctant Young Readers)

A younger sister has a difficult time adjusting to life after her older sister has a mental breakdown.

Editorial Reviews

KLIATT
This revised edition of Sones's highly praised poetry/novel (her first publication) closely relates to Sones's personal history, and the Afterword explains how her older sister (at 19) was placed in a mental institution with manic-depressive illness when Sones herself was 13 years old. She explains that her sister eventually recovered with the help of medication and therapy and that she fully supports this book because it will help teenagers understand mental illness and the family crisis such illness causes. There is a list at the end of the book of organizations to contact if readers are worried about their own mental health or that of a member of their family. The poetry is compelling. It is so heartfelt: the pain and confusion of a young teenager when her family life dissolves into chaos because of mental illness. The older sister in Stop Pretending is hospitalized for months. Today, most patients are in a 72-hour hold situation, with medications and therapy used on an outpatient basis. This only means that a family today will have their ill family member living in their household, not "put away" in a hospital—so the poetry of Sones is relevant whatever the ultimate therapy. This book is an ALA Best Book for YAs; it won the Christopher Award and several poetry prizes.
From The Critics
This is one of the most beautiful and most disturbing books aimed at young people that I have ever read. Beautiful not just in its use of free verse, but in the use of language and images that brings even mundane subjects to life. The author/narrator's older sister suffers a mental breakdown on Christmas Eve and their family will never be the same. The sister is hospitalized. Suddenly, mother and father are strangers to the child and to each other, and the child is either begging them to be themselves again or feeling that it could easily have been she in that hospital ward; she just wants to run away. Fortunately, instead of running, she chose to write. The poetry is absolutely wonderful--"...When I was lost, / you were the one /who found me. / Now you're the one /who's lost, / and I can't find you anywhere." And--"It seems/ like Sister is/ the crazy one, but what / if it's really the other way/ around/ and it's/ actually/ me who's the crazy one, / only I'm so crazy, I think/ it's her?" For anyone who has actually had this experience, the book can only be read in short doses; for anyone who hasn't, it's a fantastic view of a world we would probably not want to be a part of.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780064462181
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 1/28/2001
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 160
  • Sales rank: 74,872
  • Age range: 12 - 17 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.12 (h) x 0.32 (d)

Meet the Author

Sonya Sones is the author of four acclaimed novels for teens: Stop Pretending: What Happened When My Big Sister Went Crazy; What My Mother Doesn't Know; One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies; and What My Girlfriend Doesn't Know. She lives in California with her family and only shops at Neiman's when it's having a sale.

Read an Excerpt

My Whole Family

I can
remember what
things were like before she
got sick: my whole family climbed
into

the big
hammock on the
moondappled beach, wove
ourselves together, and swayed
as one.



My Sister's Christmas Eve Breakdown

One day
she was my big
sister, so normal and
well-behaved, the next she was a
stranger

rushing
out the door to
Midnight Mass, a wild-eyed
Jewish girl wearing only a
nightgown.

One day
he was my dad,
so calm and quiet and
in control, the next he was a
stranger

dragging
my big sister
away from the door, up
the stairs, screaming so loud that my
ears stung.

One day
she was my mom,
so reliable and good in
a crisis, the next she was a
stranger

standing
stock still with her
hands clamped over her mouth
and her eyes squeezed shut, not even
breathing.

That day
I sank into
the wall, wondering what
these three people were doing in
my house

and I
shouted that they
had to stop, even though
I wasn't supposed to talk to
strangers.



Three A.M. That Same Night

She hasn't gone to Mass,
hasn't gone to sleep,
hasn't stopped to catch her breath-
she can't stop talking.

She's showing me her stuff,
tons of stuff she bought,
stuff she bought this afternoon
when she went shopping.

Our bedroom's filled with bags,
way too many bags,
bags crammed full with too much stuff,
they're overflowing.

She's emptying them out:
fifty bars of soap,
feather dusters, Ping-Pong balls,
a ski mask, fishbowls,

twelve pairs of sexy shoes
(the kind she never wears),
stationerymonogrammed
with wrong initials.

I'm huddled on my bed,
wrapped up in my quilt,
listening to Sister rave
on and on and

just outside the door
angry whispers rise.
Trying not to let us hear,
our parents fight.

I'm huddled on my bed,
rocking in my quilt,
wishing I could fall asleep
and end this nightmare.

Stop Pretending. Copyright © by Sonya Sones. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Customer Reviews
Average Rating 4.5
( 71 )

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 30, 2000

    Crazed Fan!!!

    I loved it sooooo much.I couldn't get my hands off it. I'd reccomend to everyone ages 12&up. It's the best book I've ever read.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 7, 2007

    A reviewer

    This book was heart-warming. it had such depth and soul, i couldn't put it down. it takes a toll on your emotions you never thought possible and you'll welcome it. i couldnt put it down and i finished this book in literally two hours. Sonya Sones uses few words but they are definitely the 'write' ones.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 6, 2012

    Very Interesting Book!

    My English class read this novel together. Af first I did not think that I would like it, but I was wrong. It was excellent!
    The protagonist, Cookie, must come to terms with the fact that her sister is mentally ill and needs some help. At first she thinks her sister's behavior is just a little strange. But on Christmas Eve when her sister goes to mass in her nightgown, and hides 70 bars of soap in her bedroom Cookie knows that there is a serious problem. Cookie's parents must put her sister in a mental institution.
    Cookie must deal with taunts and teasing by her friends when they find out her sister has been committed. Cookie tries to keep it from them, and when she finally confides in them they make fun of her sister.
    Along with getting adjusted to her sister being in a psychiatric ward, Cookie also gets her first boyfriend. It is a confusing time for Cookie because good and bad things are happening in her life. The first time Cookie brings her boyfriend home to meet her parents they can hear them fighting inside the house. Cookie becomes very embarrrassed, but her boyfriend comforts her. Later in the novel, Cookie even takes her boyfriend to meet her sister.
    Ultimately, this is a novel about growing up, and learning to accept what cannot be changed. I think teenagers will be able to identify with Cookie and her struggles to understand her sister's behavior. This was a great book.

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  • Posted November 4, 2011

    I highly recommend this book to all of my firends and family members.

    This book is really good. The format is unique and it is really is to understand. Anyone can cope with Cookie, because we all have someone we love very much, and would just be depressed if something ever happened to them. This story helped me realize that I'm not the only one dealing with someone that is ill, and that I can live my life while taking care of them. This book is for the type of reader who has feelings the author would feel as she was writing it. Like they can actually feel what the writer was feeling.

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  • Posted November 4, 2011

    I highly recommend this book... It is AWESOME!

    "Stop Pretending" is a great book to read. The reason why I think so great is because: it is not only written in poetry form, but it is nicely put together. The book is written in free verse and is highly emotional and makes you want to break-out with crying a river full of tears. It is written in a series of poems that paints a picture of the internal struggles that she went through. This book has taught me 2 valuable lessons in life while reading it. One of the life lessons is: Never judge a book by its cover b/c you never know what is going on or what will happen in that person's life. The 2nd life lesson is: cherish the time that you spend with those loved ones b/c you never know when GOD calls on you and never know what's going to happen; either today or tomorrow.

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  • Posted November 4, 2011

    Stop Pretending

    Stop Pretending is a book we had to read in my English class. It's Interesting to see how a young girl, named Cookie, deals with her older sisters Bipolar Disorder. She once looked up to her older sister a lot and to see her Decline in Mental health made her Poem Formed Diary what it was. Having someone with a disability in your household is difficult. Everything starts falling apart. Your once perfect life goes down the drain slowly. She never really gets to tell her big sister about her day or nothing. Those used to be close to her slowly starts to go away and distance themselves because they just really just think Cookies sister is just straight crazy. Then cookie thinks that she's going to go crazy if she stays to long or be around her sister to long. Then Cookie meets this guy named John who just adores her. The hardest part about it is explain that her sisters crazy. He doesn't worry and ends up meeting her sister. Then slowly but surely Cookies sisters starts to remember her mom and dad and herself. 3months later Cookies sister is out and back to normal with a few episodes. Over this entire book was a very Good Book.

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  • Posted November 4, 2011

    This book is so good!

    I loved reading this book, i actually learned smething from it. I learned to love my sister because if she went crazy then I would feel so horibble for how I treated her in the begining. This book is very heart warming you. I could read it over and over and over again. My favorite part was when she got lost in the hospital andone of the patients showed her the way out and she didnt know she was a patient she atually thought she was one of the doctors. Then the patient stuckher tounge out at her when she got on the elevator. This bookis very funny and sad at the same time. I Love It !

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  • Posted November 4, 2011

    Stop Pretending

    Stop pretending is a very good book. We read this book in my litreature class. This book is about a young girl name Cookie. Her sister has a bipolar disorder and went crazy.Every day Cookie would go to see her sister. Cookie wanted her sister to get better. Cookies parents eould always fight with each other. The sterss of their daughter being in a mental intuition was getting to them. In this book cookie would always say am I the one who is really crazy. In other words she didn't want to be like her sister. As the months progressed Cookie would go to see her sister and take pictures. Her sister was getting better. They would sit down and talk about boys and things like that. Now her sister is doing fine

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  • Posted November 4, 2011

    Stop Pretending

    In my Literature class we read the "Stop Pretending" by: Sonya Sones. I felt that this book was a very interesting book; the little girl 'Cookie' express how she felt when her sister first became sick and how her sister was acting while going through her bipolar disease. Her parents always argued; basically they were stressed because they had to take are of what their daughter was going through with her bipolar disease. She told how her friends turned against her when she told them. Then this boy came along that she liked named John, and it took her a long time to tell him that her sister was "crazy" and that she had to be put in the hospital. But she finally had the courage to tell and she took him to go meet her sister. Cookie thought that John wasn't going to like her but he accepted her sister for who she was; he knew she was sick but he didn't care. Cookie was in love with John!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2011

    ! LOVE THIS BOOK!

    I loooooveeed this book! It really makes me feel thankful for my family! And it was soooooooo good! Love this book!

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  • Posted June 18, 2011

    PERFECTION!!!!!!

    This book was soo amazing, heartfelt, deep, pure, insiteful,reassuring, and perfect!!!!! If I had a sister in a ward, this would be the first bok I would turn to. I loved how the authkor overcame everyhing and it all got better. When you describe the type of ending like that it sounds stupid and like a classic little fiction story but its real life and turned the sappy, normal, clasic end into something personalized in some way. She changed it to fit her story.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2008

    i loved it !

    i loved that book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2007

    Deep and Beautiful

    Once again, Sonya Sones has created a great story that moves along through poems. It ended too soon, though, and I feel like the end could have been stretched out or elaborated a little more. Other than that, I would recommend this book to girls who like to think. This book was about a girl dealing with her sister's mental condition and how her life is affected because of it. Worth the read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 23, 2007

    This Book:

    Oh my gosh, wow. This book was awesome.I loved the format of the story and the point of view.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2007

    INsanE

    Stop pretending was a very good book! It starts out where this family is pretty much perfect the sisters got along great and so did the family! Then they take a complete turn around not for the good either! Sister becomes very ill and ends up in a psychiatric ward because she says she hears voices. The parents start paying more attention to the sick sister and the other one feels alone and doesnt understand whats going on! I cant say i wouldnt know how to deal with going from perfect family having friends to losing everything! Because I have it just takes sometime to heal things and everything heals with time! Just like this family! Of course they come together its a great book and I can say i can relate to it in a way!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 27, 2007

    Another Great book by Sonya Sones!!!

    I have once again read another great book by Sonya Sones. This one isn't as good as One of those Hideous Books Where The Mother Dies and What My Mother Doesn't Know but it was still good. It is a poem book (of course)and it is about a girl whose sister has a breakdown and has to go to a Mental Hospital. Things aren't the same between her parents and her and her with her sister. She goes to visit her sister often but they can't talk like they used to. The girl has to learn how to deal with her sister being crazy, freindsships and boyfriends along with her parents too. I reccommend this book to girls who have loved Sonya's others books and if you haven't read her books it a great book for girls who like to read about young girls and their problems.I hoped this helped for anyone who is planning to read this book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 11, 2007

    AMAZING

    This book really showed the feelings of the girl whose sister is going insane and it brings you into her thoughts. I recommend this book for all ages. There isn't really anything inappropriate.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 9, 2007

    The feelings you don't have to wait to feel when you are already the crazy sister...

    I personally loved this book, not only because i love reading poems but because i'm a middle child. I can imagine my sefl losing one of my sisters. This book applied to me and help me find some kind of hope for my own situation. you don't have to be crazy or wait until someone loose their mind to find exactly the point where thigs can get better. Hope is something that this girl never loose, but if she were to leave her sister then she will be leaving her hope behind. There's always a lesson to learn and in this case is a pretty good one, so don't miss out!.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 21, 2006

    Great Book

    This book is amazing. I loved the way the story was written. Shes just a great writer. Oh, and i loved the way the story ended.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 4, 2006

    Simply Insane

    I first heard of this book from a friend. We were going to do a small section of the book for Oral Language. But we decided in the end not to do that particular piece. After many, many months, I was digging thru some old junk and found the a part of the piece. It was only one page, but after reading it...I was addicted to it. Haha...then I finally decided to just buy the book. After I read the whole thing, I loved it. It makes one think. Two thumbs up for this novel-in-verse. =)

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