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The Story of the Night

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The streets are empty at night, and people see nothing because they have trained themselves not to. It is Argentina in a time of the generals. Richard Garay lives alone with his mother, hiding his sexuality from her and from the world. Stifled by a job he despises, he is willing to take chances, both sexual and professional. The Falklands War enables him to disregard the Britishness he has inherited from his mother, and the arrival of two American diplomats offer him new hope ...
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Overview

The streets are empty at night, and people see nothing because they have trained themselves not to. It is Argentina in a time of the generals. Richard Garay lives alone with his mother, hiding his sexuality from her and from the world. Stifled by a job he despises, he is willing to take chances, both sexual and professional. The Falklands War enables him to disregard the Britishness he has inherited from his mother, and the arrival of two American diplomats offer him new hope and the prospect of making his fortune.

Argentina is changing, and as his country slowly makes its peace with the outside world, Richard tentatively begins a love affair--but the Faustian bargain he has made with experience is gradually becoming a nightmare. Richard tells his picaresque story with a mixture of confessional guilt and awestruck wonder. The Story of the Night is a powerful, brave, and moving novel.

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Editorial Reviews

Michael Boxall

Colm Toibin's third book of fiction is not so much a novel as three novellas with the same alienated narrator, whose prospects are sketched out on the back of a form by an AIDS researcher. "He drew a large L and then put the pen at the top of the vertical line. 'This,' he said, 'is the state of your health now.' Then he slowly drew the declining graph until it hit the edge of the bottom line. 'This,' he said, 'is the way things are going to go. Do you understand?'"

Richard Garay, son of an Argentine father and an embittered English mother, has emerged from childhood with neither roots nor friends. The closest he comes to intimacy is in fleeting sexual encounters with other men. Garay is sleepwalking through life. But then, so is most of Buenos Aires. The military has taken power, and people react to disappearances and torture by averting their eyes. Toibin, a former journalist who covered the trial of Gen. Leopoldo Galtieri, creates a numbing sense of how life flattens and shrinks under such conditions. And when reality does intrude -- in a glimpse of driverless cars outside police headquarters, for instance, engines revving to provide extra voltage for the cattle prods -- his images explode on the page like land mines.

The Falklands War uncorks a nationalistic fervor that changes everything. After Argentina's defeat, the junta is thrown out, advisors and public relations people are ushered in and the newly ambitious Garay, clinging to their coattails, is transformed -- too quickly, perhaps -- from bored and misanthropic language school teacher to political consultant. He makes money from rigged contract bids. He travels to conferences and cruises the saunas. And when he falls in love with Pablo, the son of a not-quite-leading politician, he comes close to being likable -- perhaps because, for the first time in his life, he senses the possibility of happiness. People are no longer being dragged away and thrown out of helicopters. But old fears have been replaced by new ones, and the arrival of two of Pablo's friends from San Francisco brings a different kind of terror into abrupt and pitiless focus.

Toibin has not taken an easy path in writing The Story of the Night, with its claustrophobic setting and manipulative, self-centered protagonist. This is a book about fear and the consequences of fear when it is pushed to the limits. That it turns out to be such a fierce and convincing affirmation of love as the only source of redemption is a tribute to the writer's courage in looking into the darkest of mirrors and to his consummate skill in describing what he sees there. -- Salon

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
In elegantly crafted prose, Irish author Tóibín (The South; The Heather Blazing) delivers a rewarding narrative that blends themes of personal intensity and historical import. Set in Buenos Aires in the 1980s, the novel follows the fortunes of Richard Garay, a young man who is desperately lonely in a country where his homosexuality is still unacceptable, and who is further distanced--this is just after the Falklands War--by his British origins. These prove invaluable, however, when he becomes involved with the American diplomatic elite, ostensibly stationed there as "advisers" but in effect securing U.S. strategic interests as the military regime of the generals slowly ends. Although Richard prospers professionally as a translator and consultant, the furtive nature of his personal life leaves him unfulfilled until he meets Pablo. Their stable and loving relationship brings him happiness, and, through his new lover's visiting American friends, Richard glimpses the potential of gay life in a freer society. The book succeeds seamlessly on two levels. Through Richard's work, we get a fascinating view of Argentina in transition: the corruption of the old state; the manipulation of a troubled country by a superpower; the widespread shame over and denial of the political disappearances. Through Richard's own coming-of-age story, we also bear witness, in T&3243;ibín's evocative cadences, to a more international yet deeply personal crisis: the devastation of AIDS. Tóibín writes with meticulous control and an understatement that makes the deeply moving and surprisingly consoling ending absolutely real. (May)
Library Journal
T&3243;ibín (The Heather Blazing, LJ 2/1/93) lives in Ireland, but his newest novel successfully re-creates the turmoil and confusion of the postmilitary regime in Argentina in the early 1980s as if he had been witness. Richard Garay is an Argentinean, bored by his job as an English tutor and frustrated by his hidden homosexuality. His fluency with language attracts the attention of Claudio Canetto, who hires him as a liaison to foreign investors in his campaign for president of Argentina. Though the campaing is unsuccessful, it draws Garay into an uneasy alliance with a pair of powerful Americans who hope to influence the next election. Tóibín flirts with the exploration of a tainted political process, but the heart of the book details the secret relationship between Garay and Canetto's son Pablo; as the country recovers from the Falklands War and the oppression of military leadership, their pairing grows from lust to love as the new threat of AIDS looms. Tibn's simple but eloquent telling of this personal story is sometimes explicit, often moving, and always vivid in its portrayal of Argentina and its people. Highly recommended.Marc A. Kloszewski, Indiana Free Lib., Indiana, Pa.
Kirkus Reviews
A brooding, resonant novel set in Argentina.

Irish writer Tóibín (The Heather Blazing, 1993; the nonfiction The Sign of the Cross: Travels in Catholic Europe, 1995; etc.) is fascinated with the ways that suppressed feelings can shape and deform character, and the often destructive and always disruptive manner in which long repressed emotions can emerge. Here, Richard Garay, a closeted gay man who lives in Buenos Aires and works as an English teacher, practices a painful politics of self-repression aptly matching that of his nation in and after the grip of dictatorship: fear and silence give his life an anonymous quality and his city a sense of unhappy monotony, emptied of freedom, justice, possibility, community. The narrative follows Richard's mostly tragic awakening to himself. Tóibín's tone is cool, unsqueamish, and discreet; his fondness for understatement when describing emotional turbulence is admirable and quite effective. Richard tells his own story: how he ekes out a life of lies with his aging British mother in a shabby downtown apartment, estranged from the rest of the family; how he survives her death, then is recruited and lucratively rewarded by a CIA-like US diplomatic organization as a translator and advance man to help protect and promote American economic and political interests in Argentina; how he sleeps around before finding love with Pablo Canetto, a younger man. Richard keeps trying to trade up in every respect, but the costs are unexpectedly steep. He surrenders his sense of fairness as an Argentinean to American moneymen, betrays his mother's memory, himself, and, finally, his lover—all quietly, remotely, with devastating ease. Eventually, he finds that he has lost, through long repression, the ability to feel, to respond, to trust, and only after a tragic discovery does he begin to regain those qualities.

A memorably hard-headed, well paced and plotted reverie on loss.

From the Publisher
“A beautiful, fascinating novel. It is a thriller, a love story, and much more. Colm Tóibín is an extraordinary writer, daring and precise.”
–Roddy Doyle

“A mesmerizing, dark, powerful novel.…”
The Times (U.K.)

“Tóibín is a fine writer. This novel pulls you in gradually and keeps you guessing.…”
Edmonton Journal

“Tóibín’s genius is that he makes it impossible for us to walk away.”
The New Yorker

“A love story and a political thriller and about being Irish and a coming-out novel.”
Esquire

“A novel that reads like the most memorable of Camus.…The story – told in restrained, spare, matter-of-fact prose – becomes more immediate and powerful as we are drawn in.…The anger you feel as you read the final pages will remain long after you have closed the book.”
Globe and Mail

“Written in a self-reflective style that rings with honesty, bravely constructing a complex metaphor of sex and death in Argentina.”
New York Times

“This troubling and haunting book is one of shadows and secrets, half-lives and losses, endings and fears.”
Observer (U.K.)

“The intellect which has so conspicuously powered Tóibín’s writing career is fired here with a new ambition and purpose.”
Independent (U.K.)

“A fine novel, remarkable for the purity of its ambitions.”
Washington Post Book World

“A love story of the most serious and difficult kind. [Tóibín] has told it with profound artistry and truth.”
–Tobias Wolff

“Generates the tension of an unstoppable flow.…Haunting.…The Story of the Night is tautly constructed, politically hip, and geographically true.”
Pier

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780805058253
  • Publisher: Holt, Henry & Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 5/15/1998
  • Edition description: First Edition
  • Pages: 304
  • Product dimensions: 5.48 (w) x 8.28 (h) x 0.91 (d)

Meet the Author

Colm Tóibín

Colm Tóibín is the award-winning author of five novels: The South, winner of the Irish Times/Aer Lingus Literature Prize; The Heather Blazing, winner of the Encore Award for best second novel; The Story of the Night; The Blackwater Lightship, which was a finalist for the Booker Prize and the International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award; and, most recently, The Master, a finalist for the Man Booker Prize.

His non-fiction includes Bad Blood: A Walk Along the Irish Border; Homage to Barcelona; The Sign of the Cross: Travels in Catholic Europe; and, most recently, Love in a Dark Time. He is also the co-author, with Carmen Callil, of The Modern Library: The 200 Best Novels in English Since 1950.

He lives in Dublin, Ireland.

Biography

Colm Tóibín is a literary star of the "new" Ireland, the one -- as noted by National Public Radio's Jacki Lyman -- is short on whiskey and St. Patrick and long on cell phones, personal computers, and a stage set for economic opportunity. This is an Ireland where the people stop to cheer an author, yes, an author, whose latest novel has been shortlisted for the Booker Prize, even though its key subject matter is the protagonist's struggle with his homosexuality.

"When I went down to get my groceries, people stopped their car and got out of them and waved at me and looked at me as though I was an athlete and shouted at me, ‘Come on, you can do it. You can do it,' " Tóibín said on NPR's All Things Considered in 2000. "And I basked in the sunshine of Irish approval and love for about three weeks.... You know, sort of -- I keep wondering when this, you know, backlash or something is going to happen, but I'm afraid it isn't going to happen. I'm afraid the country has changed, and being a writer there is actually quite a nice thing these days."

In fiction, travelogues, essays, and newspaper columns, Tóibín has established himself as a writer who can connect both the political and the personal to a sense of place. Though his work has often been informed by the political history of Ireland, he has also drawn on his travels to places like Spain and Argentina to create settings for his work.

And, even though his current home of Dublin has never made an appearance in any of his fiction, the environs of his youth -- County Wexford -- have been prominent.

The Washington Post, in a 2000 review of The Penguin Book of Irish Fiction, which Tóibín edited, called him a "journalist and critic of influence, a brilliant novelist steadily harvesting his own postage-stamp piece of Wexford as diligently as Faulkner worked Mississippi."

"Colm Tóibín has established himself as a major and distinctive voice in contemporary Irish fiction," the Dictionary of Literary Biography has noted. "While his work makes much of the complex associations between people and place, he eschews easy stereotypes of Irishness in favor of the often-contradictory impulses that pull on contemporary lives.

Tóibín was born into a family that had a long history in his hometown. His father, who died when Tóibín was 12, was a local schoolteacher, and his grandfather was a member of the Irish Republican Brotherhood and was twice imprisoned by British authorities for civil disobedience against British rule.

Tóibín explored this history as a writer, following four years teaching English in Barcelona, Spain. He began as a features editor but moved to editing a current affairs magazine and joined the Sunday Independent in Dublin in 1985 as a columnist. As an author, he started by writing travelogues on Ireland and Spain before publishing his first novel in 1990. The South, which draws on Ireland's Catholic-Protestant tensions as well as Tóibín's life in Spain, is about an Irish woman who leaves her husband and son and moves to Spain, falls in love with a political artist, and returns to Ireland as an artist herself, once her son is grown.

This novel would establish Tóibín's reputation as a writer with a keen sensibility for characterization ("His novels have been noted for their deft characterizations, particularly of women, as evidenced by the strong female protagonist in The South," noted Contemporary Literary Criticism), but it wasn't until later novels such as The Story of the Night and The Blackwater Lightship that readers would realize his insight into gay characters as well.

"This is not a simple, upbeat story about gay liberation or political activism," Merle Rubin wrote in The Christian Science Monitor in 1997. "Powerfully imagined and tautly written, it is a subtly shaded portrait of a country in transition, a culture beginning to reflect important political changes, and a man coming to a new understanding of himself."

David Bahr, writing in The Advocate in 2000, predicted that The Blackwater Lightship -- now that it had been shortlisted for the Booker Prize -- would finally make Tóibín known outside his magazine's primary readership: "His latest...should finally prove to straight American readers what many gay people have long known: that Tóibín is one of the more honest and subtly powerful novelists publishing today.... Perceptive and moving, The Blackwater Lightship again reveals Tóibín to be the kind of restrained, quiet writer whose prose feels as natural as breathing. His poetic narrative is so understated that its profound lyricism often takes you by surprise, infusing a potentially familiar tale with vibrant new life."

Mixing fiction and biography in 2004, Tóibín penned a novel inspired by the life of Henry James. "Ambitious and gracefully plotted," said the New Statesman. In the pages of London's Observer, a previous Tóibín skeptic confessed he had been swayed. "There's little in Colm Tóibín's previous work, to some of which this reviewer has been immune or even mildly allergic, to prepare for the startling excellence of his new novel," Adam Mars Jones wrote, "The Master is a portrait of Henry James that has the depth and finish of great sculpture."

Moving fully into nonfiction, Tóibín continued to impress.

The New Statesman observed that The Irish Famine: A Documentary was "no arid survey of the historiography of the famine, but a stimulating quest, prompted by a personal and vocational curiosity. And Joseph Olshan, writing in Entertainment Weekly in 1995, awarded Tóibín's The Sign of the Cross: Travels in Catholic Europe an A, not only for its ability to dissect the Church's close relationship with European politics and social order. "[W]hat Tóibín comes back to is the transcendent power of Catholic ritual," Olshan writes. "Indeed, in a very moving centerpiece, Tóibín describes a therapy session during which he relives his father's death and comes to realize that his most profound wish is to bless his deceased parent with the sign of the cross. This is an extraordinary document."

But it may always be the intensely personal moments in his fiction that will always stand out. Susan Salter Reynolds noted as much in the Los Angeles Times in 2000. "There is little reconciliation in Colm Tóibín's novels; moments in which the stage is set for it usually pass," she wrote. "His novels build to these moments, fraught with potential, from which the air goes out with a nasty little hiss, and a new chapter, full of reasons not to live, begins.... It's good to read Tóibín's honest novels, in which human beings fail to forgive, fail to understand. We spend so much of our lives in the dark, shouldn't literature face this as squarely as we must?"

Good To Know

Tóibín's novel The Story of Night is No. 84 on the Publishing Triangle's list of the best 100 gay and lesbian novels of all time.

He counts two books by James Baldwin -- Giovanni's Room and Go Tell It on the Mountain -- as major influences on his work.

Tóibín covered the downfall of the military dictatorship in Argentina in 1985.

He joined such authors as Roddy Doyle in the 1997 novel Finbar's Hotel, in which each of the seven authors wrote individual chapters set in the same 24-hour period at a fading hotel.

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    1. Hometown:
      Dublin, Ireland
    1. Date of Birth:
      May 30, 1955
    2. Place of Birth:
      Enniscorthy, County Wexford, Ireland
    1. Education:
      St. Peter's College, Wexford; University College, Dublin, B.A. in English and history
    2. Website:

Read an Excerpt


Chapter One


During her last year my mother grew obsessive about the emblems of empire: the Union Jack, the Tower of London, the Queen, and Mrs. Thatcher. As the light in her eyes began to fade, she plastered the apartment with tourist posters of Buckingham Palace and the changing of the guard and magazine photographs of the royal family; her accent became posher and her face took on the guise of an elderly duchess who had suffered a long exile. She was lonely and sad and distant as the end came close.

I am living once more in her apartment. I am sleeping in her bed, and I am using, with particular relish, the heavy cotton sheets that she was saving for some special occasion. In all the years since she died I have never opened the curtains in this room. The window, which must be very dirty now, looks on to Lavalle, and if I open it I imagine there is a strong possibility that some residual part of my mother that flits around in the shadows of this room will fly out over the city, and I do not want that. I am not ready for it.

She died the year before the war and thus I was spared her mad patriotism and foolishness. I know that she would have waved a Union Jack out of the window, that she would have shouted slogans at whoever would listen, that she would have been overjoyed at the prospect of a flotilla coming down from England, all the way across the world in the name of righteousness and civilization, to expel the barbarians from the Falkland Islands. The war would have been her shrill revenge on everybody, on my father and his family, and on the life she had been forced to live down here so far away from home. I can hearher screeching now about the war and the empire, her voice triumphant. I can imagine trying to silence her, trying to escape her.

Her brittle old bones are firmly locked in the family vault, with my father's middle-aged bones, and my grandparents' bones, and the bones of one uncle, and the small, soft, delicate bones of a cousin who died when she was a baby. Recently, I have felt unwilling to join all the rest of them in that dank underworld beneath the ornate angel and the stone cross. I can imagine the vague stench of ancestors still lingering, despite everything, despite all the time they have been dead. If I have enough money left, I will find my own place of rest.

I was the little English boy holding my mother's hand on the way out of the Church of England service on Calle Rubicon on a Sunday morning, my mother smiling at the members of the British colony, my mother wearing her good clothes and too much makeup and putting on her best accent and the weird, crooked smile she used on these occasions. She loved my name, Richard, the Englishness of it, and she hated it when anybody used the Spanish version, Ricardo. As I grew older, she loved me sitting quietly in some corner of the apartment away from her reading a book. She liked the bookish part of me, she drooled over the English tweed suit which I had specially made by a tailor on Corrientes. She mistook my reserve and my distance from her. She thought that it was real, and she never understood that it was fear. She liked my teaching at the university, even if it was only two hours a week in what passed for a language laboratory. And when I lost those hours and worked solely in Instituto San Martin, teaching repetitious English, she never mentioned it again, but saved it up to contemplate in her hours alone in her study, another bitter aspect of the way things had declined. She was disappointed.

Maybe that is what lingers in her bedroom, her disappointment and all the time she had alone to savor it and go over it in detail. Some of that dull energy is left there, and I can feel it when I go into the room and I still call it Mother.

She wanted me to have friends, to move around in groups, but in some deeper manner which I have never understood she taught me to distrust people, to want to slip away and spend time alone. She hated me going to the movies on my own. Do you not have a friend, she would ask. In my first year at the university I did have a friend, who was studying economics, and who approached me one day and asked me to teach him English. His parents would pay, he said. I met him three times a week for lessons. His name was Jorge Canetto and he became important for me then because I fell in love with him and thought about him all the time. I loved how tall and strong he was, and how strangely blue his eyes were against the darkness of his hair and his skin. I loved the slow ease with which he smiled, the softness in him.

My mother noticed that I was happier, and asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told her that I did not. She laughed, as though the possibility caused her infinite mirth, and said I had, I had, she knew I had, and she would find out soon, someone would tell her the girl's name. Soon, she would know, she said. I told her again that I did not.

At five o'clock three days a week in an empty classroom in the university I taught Jorge English. A few times he came to the apartment and I gave him the lesson in the dining room, my mother hovering in the hallway. I taught him how to ask questions in the present tense, I made him learn vocabulary. And I listened for some clue that he might understand. That is the word they use here. Entender. To understand. There are other words too, but this one is still common. ?Entendes? you could ask and this would mean Do you? Are you? Will you?

Sometimes I became tense with worry that I might blurt it out, summon up the courage to ask him on the way out of a lesson. It would just take one moment to say it. "There's something I want to ask you. I've noticed that you never mention girls the way most men here do, and you never look behind at a woman who passes on the street, and there's something I've wanted to ask you, you may guess what it is ... Do you understand. ?Entendes?" And if he had said yes, perhaps I would not have wanted him as much as I did in this twilight time when I taught him English and did not know about him. Maybe I wanted whatever part of him was unavailable. Maybe if he had understood I would have despised him. Maybe I am being too hard.

The generals were in power then, and nobody stayed out late, even though the cafes and bars in the streets around us remained open, eerily waiting for the lone customer who had missed his train to finish up and go, or for time to pass, or for something to happen. But nothing happened. Or, as we later learned, a great deal happened, but I never witnessed any of it. It was as though the famous disappearances we hear so much about now took place in a ghost city, a shadowy version of our own, and in the small hours when no sounds were made or traces left. I knew—or thought that I knew—no one in those years who disappeared, no one who was detained, no one whowas threatened with detention. I knew no one at that time who told me that they knew anyone who was a victim. And there are others who have written about this and come to the conclusion that the disappearances did not occur, or occurred on a lesser scale than we have been led to believe. But that is not my conclusion.

My conclusion centers on the strange lack of contact we have with each other here. It is not simply my problem, it is a crucial part of this faraway place to which our ancestors—my mother's father, my father's great-grandfather—came in search of vast tracts of land: we have never trusted each other here, or mixed with each other. There is no society here, just a terrible loneliness which bears down on us all, and bears down on me now. Maybe it is possible that I could watch someone being dragged away in front of my eyes and not recognize it. I would somehow miss the point, and maybe that is what I did, and others like me did, during those years. We saw nothing, not because there was nothing, but because we had trained ourselves not to see.

I do not remember when precisely I began to go directly home after my day at the university. In those years you moved carefully; without knowing why, you watched out. It was something in the atmosphere, something unsaid and all-pervasive, rather than anything printed in the papers or broadcast over the radio. You did not want to be the lone figure in the street at night. But I often went for coffee with Jorge after the lesson, nonetheless. And I waited for some sign from him. I expected him to mention a girlfriend. I observed him when girls passed for some sign of desire or interest, but there was nothing. His clothes in those years were old-fashioned and formal. I liked that about him. I imagined him in one of those old-fashioned bathing costumes that covered the torso as well, and I thought of the shape of him, and that was exciting.

A few times I found pleasure in the city. It would always begin in the same way: a sharp glance at a stranger as he walked by, a turn of the head, and then the watching and waiting as he stopped to look into a shop window and I moved nonchalantly toward him. And then the approach, the discovering if he had a place to go to, and then the setting out, conspirators laden down with desire. Often, because I am tall and fair-skinned and blond with blue eyes, they would want to know where I was from, and I would say that I was half-English, and that would be a subject we could discuss as we made our way home.

I remember one such encounter not for the sex we had, but because of a sound that came into the room as we made love, the sound of car engines revving over and over. I asked my partner—I remember a dark-haired man in his thirties with white skin—what the noise was. He brought me to the window to show me the police station opposite and the cars outside, driverless, but still revving, with wires going from the engines to the basement of the building. They need power, he said, but I still did not understand. They need extra power for the cattle prods, he said. I still do not know if what he said was true, if that was one of the centers in the city to which people were taken, and if we fondled each other and came to orgasm within moments of each other to the sound of the revving of cars which gave power to the instruments of torture. It made no difference then, because I did not pay much attention to what he said, and I remember the pleasure of standing at the window with him, my hands running down his back, more than anything else.

It is only now years later that it seems significant, perhaps the only sign I was ever given of what was happening all around me. I cannot remember the name of my companion that evening, the man I stood with at the window, but I have often wonderedhow he knew or thought he knew, or if he imagined, what the revving of the cars' engines meant in our city at that time.

One Friday when we had finished our class, Jorge walked into the city center with me. We went into a bar together and had a beer. He asked me if I had been to England, and I said that I had not, but I had often thought about it. I would like to live there, I said, at least I think I would, even though I have no relatives there. I think that you could be free there, I said. I think people are more relaxed about things, about sex, for example. I noticed him looking up from the table at me as I spoke. I could feel my heart thumping. I was going to do it. I was ready now. Everything is easier, I said. I mean if you wanted to go to bed with another man, to have an affair with him, no one would care very much. You could do that. It would be hard to do that in Argentina. He nodded and looked away and then took a sip of his beer. He said nothing, I waited.

I mean, I said, do you know anyone here who prefers men to women, I mean a man who prefers men to women? I almost ran out of the bar as soon as I had said it. I was trying to sound casual, but I had not succeeded. I wanted him to say yes he did, and then make clear that it was himself he was talking about. Or maybe I wanted him to leave silence, leave everything suspended. You mean queers, he asked. No, he said, he did not know anybody like that. He sounded sure of himself. Most men liked women, he said, in England as much as in Argentina. And did I like women, too, he asked. I felt a terrible weight in my chest. I wanted to find some dark corner and curl up. No, I said, no, I did not.

Does anyone else know that, he asked. Does your mother know? Have you never told her? I needed to tell him how much I had wanted him, how much I had dreamed about him, how my hopes had depended on him and now things would change. But he wanted to talk about my mother. I wanted him to go and leave me there.

I don't think that your mother has had things easy, he said. He looked like a parody of a responsible teenager as he sat and tried to discuss my mother with me. And maybe I looked like a parody of something too: a homosexual foolish enough to believe that a man he fancies is homosexual too. You should tell her, he said, and maybe there is something that could be done. I did not ask him if he meant that if I talked enough about it, or sought medical help, I might start watching girls as they passed on the street instead of making embarrassing propositions to fellow students. I was going to tell him that when I was a baby I was homosexual, and I laughed to myself at this vision of myself in a baby carriage.

He asked me what I was laughing at, and I said that everybody always felt sorry for my mother, but they were usually older people. I had never expected him to join the chorus, and I found it funny that he had done so. I told him that maybe he could tell her himself and perhaps he could listen to her every day and he could live with her and I could go home to his house, to his rich parents in the suburbs.

We continued our English lessons; I was glad of the money. More and more he came to the apartment to learn English. My mother often made him tea. I often wondered if he took a secret interest in me, but could not admit this to himself or to me. But, as I later discovered, I was deluding myself. I told him how easy it was to pick up a man in the street. I asked him to check out the toilets in the railway station for himself some day if he did not believe me and see if he noticed anything. He became worriedabout me. What if I was caught? If I went home with the wrong type? If it was a policeman just checking me out? It would kill her, he said. It would kill your mother. What would it do to me, I asked him. He shook his head and told me that I must be careful.

My mother's health was beginning to give. She was mellow and quiet for much of the time, sitting in an armchair in the square tiled hallway of the apartment, and, much as I do now, examining the sky and the backs of buildings and the cats maneuvering their way along the ledges and rooftops. When she looked at me sometimes she seemed old and frightened.

The hallway looked like a porch with its huge window which gave light to the living room during the day through a glass partition. My mother enjoyed being sandwiched between these two pieces of glass; often, we turned on a lamp in the evening until everything seemed all shadow and reflection. One evening as we sat there, she asked me about Jorge. She said that she liked him and wondered if I enjoyed teaching him English. I said that I did. Did I know much about him, she asked. Had I been in his house, for example, or met his family? I said I had not been to his house, but I knew that his family was rich, that they had their own tennis court and swimming pool and that his father had been involved with Peron.

Had it ever occurred to me, she asked, that he was homosexual? I had never heard her say the word before, and she pronounced it as though she had recently learned it. She looked at me sharply. I looked straight into the glass of the window and saw her shape in the armchair. No, I said to the glass, no, it had not occurred to me. Well, I think he is, she said, and I think it is something you should consider before you become too friendly with him.

I stood up and walked through to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me as though someone were following me. I wet my hands and my face and I stared into the mirror. I stood up straight. I was breathing heavily. I looked at my own eyes and then turned and opened the door. I did not stop walking as I began to speak; she watched me, her expression defiant, unafraid, her duchess look, and that made things easier. I was tired of her acting high and mighty.

Jorge is not homosexual, I mimicked her accent as I spoke. I am the one who is homosexual and I always have been. She did not flinch; she held my gaze. I stood still.

Like you, I said, I thought he was too, indeed I hoped he was. But we were both wrong, weren't we? By this time I was standing in front of her, shaking. I felt like kneeling and burying my face in her lap but I could not do that. She smiled and then shook her head in wry amusement. Somewhere in her expression there was utter contempt. She sighed and closed her eyes and smiled again. It has been so difficult for me, she said, and now this, now this, now this. She stared at herself stoically in the polished glass of the window. I stood there in silence.

So tell me about it, she said. Sit down here, she patted the chair beside her, and tell me all about it. Maybe we should stay up late tonight.

There were things I could not say, things which were too intimate, details which were too explicit. She wanted to know if there was anything she could have done, if there was anything we could do now. I said no, it was always there and it would not go away. And when did it start, she asked.

I looked at her in the glass as I spoke, I told her what I could, and sometimes she asked a question. What I said became distant from us, as though I were reading from a book, or reciting a story I had been told. We were actors that night in the old hallway of the apartment, me talking and my mother listening to the lurid tales of a wayward son, my mother infinitely patient, butnot reacting, making clear that she wished to know everything before she could pass judgment.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 15, 2005

    A Timelessly Important Yet Also A Timely Novel

    2005 and Argentina has just revoked amnesty for those responsible for the brutality and occult treachery of the Dirty War that ended with the overthrow of the military junta with the British defeat of Argentina's forces over the Falkland Islands. And it is during this closure of a long suppressed circle that Colm Toibin's superb 1995 book THE STORY OF THE NIGHT comes back into circulation. By all means read this book now not only to celebrate Toibin's genius but also to gain valuable insight into a political intrigue that has smoldered in Argentina for the past thirty years!Toibin conjoins the tale of a young lad Richard Garay, the son of a haughty British mother and an Argentine man whose childhood is disrupted by loss of income and instability of social presence, with the general social and political upheaval in Argentina). Richard moves from poverty and the death of his parents to teaching English in Buenos Aires and eventually comes into contact with an American couple Donald and Susan Ford who draw him into their hazy presence in the realm of political coups as an interpreter. Through them he works to gain acceptance of the powerful Canetto family: the father wants to become President of the nascent democracy after the Falklands War has rid the country of the Generals. Richard is a man in conflict: he envies the wealthy, he is gay, and he embodies the state of mind of surviving with a day persona of longing for order and rank which is antagonistic to his night persona of craving passion.Through a series of twists of fate Richard gradually comes into money by way of the prelude to oil privatization and after unsatisfying attempts at mating he finds love in Pablo Canetto, a handsome man who has likewise hidden his true identity from his family by fleeing to San Francisco's atmosphere. The development of this profound love between Richard and Pablo, threatened as it is by nearly every aspect of life in Buenos Aires, forms the substance of this novel, that substance eloquently exploring the spectrum of love and loss as beautifully as any romance in literature.Colm Toibin is a master storyteller and one who has obviously scrupulously researched the time frame he has chosen for his novel. Every character is painted well, there being no extraneous moments that are not additive to the story. Toibin's prose is liquid and ravishingly beautiful and he is unafraid to present intimate physical encounters, knowing exactly how much to say without offending the senses of anyone. This richly historic novel ends in a microcosm of a romance: the 'desaparecidos' of the dirty war are mirrored in the equally plangent wake of AIDS. The story is superb, the introduction to a heretofore vague history of South American coups is fascinatingly related, and above it all is the magic of Toibin's impeccable prose. This is a book to read again and again. Highly Recommended. Grady Harp, June 05

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    Posted February 4, 2014

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