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Straight Out Of Lewis Carroll's Trash Can
     

Straight Out Of Lewis Carroll's Trash Can

by Michael Rumpf
 

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RUDYARD UNIVERSITY once stood proudly in the Fishtown section of Philadelphia comfortably nestled between the lower income neighborhoods to the north and what is now called the Olde City section to the south. It is no longer there.

What happened to it?

Was it someone in the Administration? One of the Teachers? A conspiracy by the students?

Overview

RUDYARD UNIVERSITY once stood proudly in the Fishtown section of Philadelphia comfortably nestled between the lower income neighborhoods to the north and what is now called the Olde City section to the south. It is no longer there.

What happened to it?

Was it someone in the Administration? One of the Teachers? A conspiracy by the students?

It remains a mystery to this very day.

Perhaps there’s some clue in one of the college’s many colorful brochures.

You probably haven’t seen any of Rudyard’s colorful brochures, but if you’ve seen one college brochure, you’ve seen Rudyard’s. It could easily be mistaken for any other schools with its generic copy and pictures supposedly representing campus life. Turn to any page and you will find one of the following: Smiling, well-scrubbed students (The kind you generally see in Back—To-School clothing ads), filtered shots of campus buildings bathed in brilliant sunlight, pictures of pleasant-looking professors standing in front of smudged chalk boards, snapshots of the school’s pep squad (The members generally caught in mid-scream), images of intense people clutching violins, oboes and trumpets; photos of the players from the university’s various sports teams captured in thrilling action poses.

Not exactly an accurate depiction of college life, certainly, a fact that was starting to grate on our Prime Suspect, JONATHAN TOLLHAUSLER, at the start of his third year. Having enrolled at Rudyard with the sole intention of becoming a writer, Jonathan didn’t feel any closer to achieving his goal than he did three years earlier. Perhaps it was the required courses he had to take or maybe a lack of momentum, but he would have rather sat in the cafeteria all day and told jokes with his friends then gone to class. In retrospect, it would’ve probably helped if he had actually told someone (His advisor, for instance) about wanting to write.

His friends were also suspects.

JOHNNY MENNON (Suspect # 2), the manager of a struggling rock band, had enough trouble keeping his band together without also having to worry about school. RICHARD MEAD (Suspect #3) didn’t have a very convincing alibi because he, like Tollhausler, didn’t know what he was going to do about school either. Once he thought he had a plan, but that plan didn’t seem to be working for him anymore. And nobody was quite sure what to make of their friend ERNIE TURPIN (Suspect # 7), the guitar—toting, Sherlock Holmes fan who just seemed to be passing through on his way somewhere else.

Then there were the teachers.

JEAN PAUL—STARER (Suspect # 5) wanted to teach, but the English Department kept canceling her classes and sending her off to teach incoming freshmen how to write term papers. GEORGES MELANGE (Suspect # 6) had assigned his class so many textbooks that people were starting to wonder if perhaps he didn’t own stock in several major textbook companies. ROBERT TENCHMAN (Suspect # 8) was more interested in tracking down the con man that scammed him out of 75 cents, and LYLE G. ADAMS (Suspect # 9) wanted to correct injustice wherever he found it—but he was having a lot of trouble finding it. Finally, there was NATHAN BUCKLES (Suspect # 10), who longed for the day when he would meet a student who found cost-push inflation exciting.

And then there were the women who loved them.

DIANE CURZEWSKI (Suspect # 11) was attracted to Tollhausler, but wasn’t sure her boyfriend (Material Witness # 8) would approve of her getting involved with such a poor student. HOLLY RAKE (Suspect # 12) found herself taken with Richard Mead but suspected he was just as much trouble to be in a relationship with as she was. SUSAN KAHN (Suspect # 13) knew Ernie Turpin was a catch but worried that, at some point, she would have to throw him back.

Then there was the Rudyard University Administration: PRESIDENT RALPH GARIBALDI (Suspect # 4), who couldn’t understand why everyone was so troubled by his plan to tear down every building on campus; DOUG SHELLINGTON (Suspect # 14), in charge of Ralph’s staff, suspected there might be a Teachers’ strike, SARAH MITCHELL (Accessory After the Fact) was convinced the Security Guards were going to walk out as well, and ANDREA GOLDEN and DON GRETZ (Suspects # 15 & 16) were equally worried because they were secretly dating and were afraid people were beginning to suspect.

One of these people would set off a sequence of events that would eventually bring down a major university.

Product Details

BN ID:
2940012701824
Publisher:
Michael Rumpf
Publication date:
12/27/2010
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
402
File size:
1 MB

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Meet the Author

Michael J. Rumpf was born. Everything has been downhill ever since.

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