The Stuffed Owl: An Anthology of Bad Verse

Overview

The editors of this legendary and hilarious anthology write: "It would seem at a hasty glance that to make an anthology of Bad Verse is on the whole a simple matter . . . On the contrary . . . Bad Verse has its canons, like Good Verse. There is bad Bad Verse and good Bad Verse. It has been the constant preoccupation of the compilers to include in this book chiefiy good Bad Verse." Here indeed one finds the best of the worst of the greatest poets of the English language, masterpieces of the maladroit by Dryden, ...
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Overview

The editors of this legendary and hilarious anthology write: "It would seem at a hasty glance that to make an anthology of Bad Verse is on the whole a simple matter . . . On the contrary . . . Bad Verse has its canons, like Good Verse. There is bad Bad Verse and good Bad Verse. It has been the constant preoccupation of the compilers to include in this book chiefiy good Bad Verse." Here indeed one finds the best of the worst of the greatest poets of the English language, masterpieces of the maladroit by Dryden, Wordsworth, and Keats, among many others, together with an index ("Maiden, feathered, uncontrolled appetites of, 59;. . . Manure, adjudged a fit subject for the Muse, 91") that is itself an inspired work of folly.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781590170380
  • Publisher: New York Review Books
  • Publication date: 3/10/2003
  • Series: New York Review Books Classics Series
  • Pages: 264
  • Sales rank: 1,424,162
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.75 (d)

Table of Contents

Preface vii
Proem xxi
Hors-d'CEuvre--I 1
Hors-d'CEuvre--II 14
An Archangel's Toilet 25
Yoicks! Gone Away! 25
The Body: A Fancy 27
No Doubt 28
From "Nature's Dessert" 28
A Posset for Nature's Breakfast 28
The Return of Charles II 30
The English Fleet Goes Out 31
The Faculty at Work 32
To Account Rendered 32
The Wonder 33
Short Curse 33
On His Mistress Drowned 34
Heavy Going 36
The Blue Pencil 37
Ode upon the New Year 38
The Chase of the Metaphor 41
From the Psalms 41
From the Book of Job 41
The Crystal Palaces 42
Possibilities 42
Rosamond's Song 45
King Henry's Song 46
Mr. Gunston is Shown round Heaven 48
A Polyglot in Paradise 48
Mr. Mead, Mr. Bates, and Mr. Gouge 49
Mrs. Warner Arrives Above 49
On the Landing of William III 49
From the New Year's Ode, 1731 52
From the Birthday Ode, 1732 53
From Another, 1743 54
Salute to Property 55
Ode to Miss Margaret Pulteney 56
To the Right Hon. Robert Walpole, Esq. 56
Nature Queries 58
Rustic Interior 61
Advice to the Stout 61
The Gastric Muse 62
On Washing 62
On Feather Beds 63
A Submarine Jaunt 65
Seascape 65
A Runcible Thought 66
"Sting Her Up!" 66
From the "Ode to the King" 67
From "Ocean, an Ode" 69
To a Solemn Musick 72
Final Paean 72
Ye Nations, Tremble! Parliament has Met 73
With a Yo, Ho, Ho 74
La Pudeur Francaise 75
Pastoral 76
The Insensible Hottentot 77
The House Beautiful 78
Leeds for Pleasure 78
Home Industries First 80
Goats and Botanists 82
The Chase of Jessy 82
Le Spleen 85
Bryan and Pereene 88
Crescendo 90
The Shame of France 90
Advice to Slave-Owners 90
Call to the Muse 91
Of George, and Property 92
Il Latte 95
Hops and Props 97
The Nail in the Grass 98
Entry of the Villagers 99
Cause and Effect 100
A Sombre Moment 100
Females, Sacred and Profane 102
Eliza at the Battle 106
Fine Figure of a Nymph 107
"Ae Fond Kiss, and Then 108
The Maiden Truffle 108
The Birth of KNO[subscript 2] 108
Mr. Baker is Well 109
Miss Hoyland is Coy 110
Mr. Smith is Dead 110
A Business Man's Lair 111
The Baileys 112
A Bright Morning 113
Invitation to the Waltz 113
Verses on the Death of Sir James Hunter Blair 114
Elegy Written after reading the "Sorrows of Werter" 117
The Rush to the Lakes 118
Some Terrify Lions 118
The Poet is Piqued 119
The Tiff 119
Off Duty 122
The Well-Aimed Tear 122
Moods 124
Notice to Tourists 125
The Temple of Chastity 127
The Vest of Myrtle 127
Virtue Protests 129
Ratiocinative 130
The Affectionate Heart 130
George III Enters Paradise 131
Lovers' Exchange 133
Domestic Chat 133
"What with This and That--" 134
Aphrodite Adiposa 135
The Evening Stroll 136
The Evening Sin 137
Britannia Rejecta 137
The Tear 139
The Prisoner Scolds 140
Caesar Sings 141
Odd Case of Mr. Gill 144
(Oxford Street?) 144
The Aged, Aged Man 145
Asked and Answered 145
The Old Huntsman 145
The Poet Reveals All 147
Baffled 149
The Course Prescribed 149
A Mother's Quest 150
Insensibility 150
The Stuffed Owl 150
Decadence; or, The Umbrella 151
A Worm's Life Not Everything 151
An Experiment that Failed 152
To Some Ladies 153
The Female Friend 156
The First-Rate Wife 157
The Unfortunate Gentleman 158
From "The Rose-Covered Grave" 159
Catastrophe 160
The Poet Questions the Ant 161
And So Home 161
A Contretemps 162
Proximities 163
The Once-Over 163
Get-Together Song 164
Efficiency 165
Oh, No! We Never Mention Her 167
Something to Love 168
I'm Saddest When I Sing 168
The Soldier's Tear 169
I'd be a Butterfly 169
Insect Affection 171
Marine Vignette 174
A Request 174
Fore and Aft 175
On the Revolution 176
The Earl and the Girl 177
A Challenge 179
Only a Thought 179
Prone 180
Bridal Ballad 181
Eulalie 182
Miss Adair 183
Miss Lee 184
A Call 185
From "The Vigil of Aiden" 185
Snoblesse Oblige 187
Excelsior 190
Lord Stanhope's Steamer 193
On the Cork Packet, 1837 194
Great Western Days 194
The Death of Huskisson 195
Roses All the Way 195
The Railway Boom, 1845 196
A Lesson for the Proud 197
Vision of the World, regenerated by the Gospel and the Power of Steam 197
Trombone Solo 200
Live and Let Live 201
Becalmed in the Tropics 201
A Thought 202
From "The Old Arm-Chair" 202
Entry of the Marines 202
A Thought 203
Incident in Italy 204
The Passing of Arthur 206
Paean 207
Portrait of a Victorian Author 209
The Marriage Market 210
The Poor Relation; or, Pious Hope Frustrated 212
The Art of Giving (1850) 213
The Beelah Viaduct 215
Haloes, Not Hats 216
Mentem Mortalia Tangunt 216
A Timely Hint 217
Check to Song 219
Financial Note 220
The Count and the Lady 221
Sordid Scene 222
A Divine Mission 224
Disaster at Sea 226
A State Occasion 227
The Good Young Squire 228
A Graceful Divine 228
A Lisp in Numbers 229
From "Ashtaroth," a Drama 230
The Fight in the Cave 232
A Warning 232
Steam: The Seamy Side 234
Byron: A Critical Survey 235
A Noble Structure 237
Hic Finis Rapto 238
The Poet is Scornful 240
A Call (1876) 240
Anti-Bacchics 241
Ode Sung at the Opening of the International Exhibition 242
The Lord of Burleigh 244
Ocean-Spoil Alive, O! 247
Riflemen Form 247
Iphigenia in Extremis 248
Postprandial 249
Subject Index 253
Index of Authors 263
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