Surrendering To Marriage: Husbands, Wives, And Other Imperfections

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In Surrendering to Marriage Krasnow offers a raw and penetrating portrait of modern marriage and the backbreaking work required to make it last. With funny, sexy, shocking stories of real marriages, real affairs, and real divorces, Surrendering to Marriage moves far beyond a how-to manual on twenty-five ways to make your marriage hot again; Krasnow has written a how-to book on surrendering to the reality that even the best of marriages cause as much misery as happiness. ...
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Overview

In Surrendering to Marriage Krasnow offers a raw and penetrating portrait of modern marriage and the backbreaking work required to make it last. With funny, sexy, shocking stories of real marriages, real affairs, and real divorces, Surrendering to Marriage moves far beyond a how-to manual on twenty-five ways to make your marriage hot again; Krasnow has written a how-to book on surrendering to the reality that even the best of marriages cause as much misery as happiness.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
The Barnes & Noble Review
Iris Krasnow focuses us on real marriage. “The truth is that bliss may be there at dawn and gone by lunch,” she admits, “and there are as many times that you feel like saying ‘Screw you’ as you feel like saying ‘I love you.’” In this book, Krasnow leads us through all of it -- the bliss and the blunders -- and with her we journey to the heart of the mystery. It’s boring, confusing, sexy, stupid, hilarious, dark, and overwhelming; it’s marriage.

Through a series of interviews with those who have married, cheated, divorced, and remarried, Krasnow pieces out a shattered portrait of what we can expect from our vows. Each marriage is different, Krasnow shows us; some rest on friendship, while others crackle with sexual tension. But each is battered by a similar struggle. As remarried couples’ therapist Dr. Isaiah Zimmerman explains, “At the heart of most problems is anger that you aren’t getting what you think you are entitled to.” We struggle with marriage, says Zimmerman (and Krasnow), because that’s how we finally grow up.

Unlike The Surrendered Wife or The Rules for Marriage, Krasnow’s study never prescribes surefire hints to make partnership a breeze. Instead, Krasnow wanders among different kinds of marriages, offering us perspective and thoughtful reflection. That’s what’s moving about this book: Like marriage, it’s a container for divergent, warring perspectives that can never be totally resolved. It’s not easy, but it opens our eyes to the dark beauty of love. (Jesse Gale)

Denver Post
Krasnow writes with passion, elegance and humor about the satisfaction and ultimate joy of knuckling down to the gritty work of sustaining a marriage.
US News And World Report
Surrendering to Marriage is contrary to the "yes, dear" approach touted in the similarly titled The Surrendered Wife.
New Yorker Magazine
Krasnow does get to something that the other discontented-wives books don't; that marriage does not provide happiness, though it can often provide an environment in which to experience happiness.
Time Magazine
One book, The Rules for Marriage, will get a lot of attention. But the other, Surrendering to Marriage, is the one to read.
O The Oprah Magazine
Krasnow acknowledges all the temptations, all the pain, and still shows us that the long, gray corridors of our daily lives are in fact blessed places where we can, if we try, find our true happiness.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780786862184
  • Publisher: Miramax Books
  • Publication date: 5/16/2001
  • Edition description: 1 ED
  • Pages: 256
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.25 (h) x 0.00 (d)

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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2002

    Not a book for those under 45 without children

    I had been looking forward to this book since I read an excerpt in Talk magazine over the summer. I am a twenty-something woman in an seven-year marriage without children and I was looking forward to hearing something beyond the 'happily ever after' fairytale myth about marriage. She did address that marriage is work, that the infatuation fades, and that a marriage needs to be a partnership, a partnership that is not perpetually thrilling or happy, but rather, ebbs and flows. However, she failed to address a significant population of married people--people under the age of 45 who do not have children. Every marriage she discussed involved middle-age people in the throws of mid-life crisis who either had children or who didn't have them, but desparately wanted them. Never did she address people who were young and uninterested in children, but very interested in and totally committed to marriage. Marriage is a very different experience from what Krasnow described when you are happily childless, rather than bogged down with the responsibilities of parenthood. It was a somewhat interesting read in spite, but not worth my time as it never once addressed my situation.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 1, 2001

    Honest, Intelligent, and Needed

    Ms. Krasnow has written an honest, intelligent book that is important for all married persons of all ages (or anyone considering getting married). It is important for many reasons: 1) We need to be reminded that life and marriage are hard and that the rewards for staying together, though not immediate, are well worth working for. 2) There are very few books out there that explore female dissatisfaction with marriage--women need to read it to know they're not alone, and men need to read it for enlightenment. 3) Ms. Krasnow is not afraid to dig in and share with us her own experiences in her marriage--which lends the book credibility without giving it a 'tabloid' flavor. Her honesty about her own journey astounded me and kept me interested throughout the book. The book reads like a thesis in that she gives us her philosophy (see point #1) and then she backs it up with real interviews of married people. Her talents as a journalist shine through, and she supports her beliefs without preaching. Her philosophy is what I would consider true 'compassionate conservatism.' You will be changed by reading it, but you will not feel hit over the head as you might when you listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on the radio--though the message is really the same. It's the old-fashioned values our parents taught us (if we were lucky) presented in a comprehensive, intellectual, and interesting way.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 2, 2001

    Married 2 years with no kids - This book she be titled for women with children who should surrender to marriage?

    I was very dissapointed with this book. I am married only 2 years and am going through those famous ups and downs and was looking for some support or encouragement from this book but what happened to the women like myself who are married with no children. Every other passage from a client or author of their marriage talks about the children. I was waiting and waiting for advice for someone who is not over 40 and doesnt have 4 kids or a midlife crisis. If I would of know this book would be for women of that nature I wouldnt of wasted my money!!!

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