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It's a jungle out there! And who better to lead your safari through the wildest, most colorful and exciting city in the world than Jackie Mason, the kosher King of the Broadway beasts, and Raoul Felder, the lion of the divorce courts? Whether you're an out-of-towner who doesn't know downtown from up, or a longtime native who's dying to know what's really happening outside your hermetically-sealed nine-to-five world, Jackie and Raoul can show you the ins-and-outs, with savvy tips and sage advice on everything from...
It's a jungle out there! And who better to lead your safari through the wildest, most colorful and exciting city in the world than Jackie Mason, the kosher King of the Broadway beasts, and Raoul Felder, the lion of the divorce courts? Whether you're an out-of-towner who doesn't know downtown from up, or a longtime native who's dying to know what's really happening outside your hermetically-sealed nine-to-five world, Jackie and Raoul can show you the ins-and-outs, with savvy tips and sage advice on everything from getting your cable hooked up to getting hooked up with tickets to a sold-out show. This hysterical handbook will get you anywhere you want to go in the Big Apple safely and happily...and keep you laughing all the way there.
The comic legend and courtroom titan duo who previously collaborated on Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder's Guide to New York & Los Angeles Restaurants join forces again to create a helpful and hysterical guide to the Big Apple, featuring the tidbits Fodor's won't tell readers. Illustrations throughout. 176 pp. National media publicity.
On Thursday, November 6, barnesandnoble.com welcomed Jackie Mason, author of JACKIE MASON & RAOUL FELDER'S SURVIVAL GUIDE TO NEW YORK CITY.
Jackie Mason: In the new book with Raoul Felder, we recognize that one of the greatest fears is getting mugged in New York. We recommend that you pretend that you've already been mugged. Put some ketchup on your face and pretend you're already bleeding. Or pretend you're a beggar. No one want to mug a beggar, because they figure, what are they going to end up with -- an empty cup? Or put some stripes on your arm like you're an army general. Pay a couple of quarters, put some medals on your chest. No one will risk touching you -- they'll figure with all those medals, they'll get hurt. Or don't come to a city where there is so much violence. Leave!
Jackie Mason: I feel that Messinger might be a wonderful person, but even if she was my mother or my sister or my brother, I don't think she would have won running an election like she did. She had a different view every day. It was like Dole against Clinton. After two weeks nobody knew what he was running for. Like when a guy opens a store not knowing if he's going to sell shirts or cookies. Messinger had the same problem. She had a message, but she didn't know what the message was. She acted as if she was rehearsing a campaign instead of running one. You have to decide on your main theme instead of rehearsing it.
Jackie Mason: Yes, I have another show that will open in six months, called "The Best of Burlesque." It will be a re-creation of the old burlesque shows. An uncompromising re-creation of the old burlesque shows. With the same jokes, the same show, the same girls (well, not the same girls -- they'd be 87 by now). It'll be suggestive without being vulgar. Sexy and exciting. The perfect way for a respectable person to hear a whole night about sex without feeling they have to get out on the gutter to experience it.
Jackie Mason: I'd wear boxing gloves to protect myself from an upper cut. But other gloves to protect from dirt. I haven't been on the subway for at least ten years. If you can afford it, it's worth taking a taxi. Subways, well, it's a lot more comfortable to take your chances in a subway.
Jackie Mason: I get tremendous pleasure, because there are a number of provocative and entertaining people on the radio. Curtis Sliwa, and Howard Stern is very colorful. Some people like him, some hate him, but he might provoke you or might disturb you, and even though a lot of what he said is sadistic, he's very insightful. He's interesting to listen to, even if I don't always agree with what he's saying. I'd rather listen to him and be disturbed than listen to someone who bores me. You people can't deny it, he's hilarious.
Jackie Mason: If he didn't share in my brand of humor, we wouldn't be able to do anything together. If we didn't have respect for each other's basic characters or so much in common, we wouldn't be able to work so well together. Very often we disagree, but we don't disagree in a way that disdains each other's point of view. We're both incredibly blunt. It gives people an opportunity to vicariously express themselves through us. They may disagree with one of us, but they seldom disagree with both of us.
Jackie Mason: Parking signs in New York used to be completely, unbelievably hazy and ambiguous, so hard to figure out you could read the sign for a month and not know how to park. But transportation commissioner Chris Lynn came along, and he created a whole new system of signs in New York. It is not a puzzle or a riddle anymore. Before you would think a simple question about parking would be easy for a sign to explain to you; it became an IQ test. It took 50 years for a guy to get the job who could write the sign in plain English. People used to spend more time figuring out the sign than they did getting there. People used to come in from Long Island in 20 minutes and spend an hour reading the sign.
Jackie Mason: The truth of the matter is that I wouldn't care what I ate because I'm on a very strict diet. I so rarely move my body that I gain weight just sitting down. I eat only lettuce, and maybe if I go out, a tomato with that. If I could eat real food I'd eat a pastrami sandwich on rye in the Carnegie Deli on 55th Street and 7th Avenue. That's the finest pastrami sandwich in America. With all the French and Italian restaurants around the world, I think the best thing in the world is a pastrami sandwich. The other alternative is the Cafe Edison at the Edison Hotel on 47th between Broadway and 8th. They make the best Jewish soups in the world. Sixty cents for the plate of soup at the Cafe Edison is incomparable. There's not better soup in the world.
Jackie Mason: Thanks, and remember, me and Raoul Felder are the only honest people left in America.