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Take Back Your Marriage, First Edition: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart

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Today's divorce epidemic reflects the rise of many social forces that can pull even the happiest couple apart. In fact, many of us hold deeply ingrained attitudes and assumptions that work against long-term marital happiness. From renowned family therapist Dr. William J. Doherty, this book helps couples pinpoint hidden marital problems and take positive steps to stay close and connected every day. Readers learn to break free of such common traps as confusing desires with needs, applying a trade-in-the-old-model ...
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Overview

Today's divorce epidemic reflects the rise of many social forces that can pull even the happiest couple apart. In fact, many of us hold deeply ingrained attitudes and assumptions that work against long-term marital happiness. From renowned family therapist Dr. William J. Doherty, this book helps couples pinpoint hidden marital problems and take positive steps to stay close and connected every day. Readers learn to break free of such common traps as confusing desires with needs, applying a trade-in-the-old-model consumer mentality to one's own spouse, or becoming overtime parents instead of full-time partners. They get suggestions for creating relationship rituals that stand the test of time; from mundane to celebratory, sexy to silly. For young couples who want to hold tight to happily-ever-after, or longtime marrieds on the brink of breakup, this book shows how to fight back to restore a marriage worth saving.
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Editorial Reviews

Booknews
A family therapist identifies overwork, consumerism, and overemphasis on personal fulfillment as major factors that pull couples apart. He shows young and long-term couples how to assess their own marital health, identify social pressures most destructive to them, and take active steps to stay connected. He explains how to break free of assumptions that work against long-term marital happiness, and offers suggestions for creating relationship rituals for closeness and celebration. He also discusses the problem of unintentional sabotage from family and counselors, and tells how choose a marriage counselor. Doherty is professor and director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)
From the Publisher

"This book offers wise and timely advice on marriage from one of America's favorite therapists." —Mary Pipher, PhD, author of Reviving Ophelia and Another Country

"Though love feels magical, a loving marriage is anything but magic. There are definite formulas to marriages that work and those that don't. Take Back Your Marriage uncovers the insidious forces working against lasting love and commitment, and offers down-to-earth methods to guard against and overcome them. It reminds and inspires us to take our marriages off the back burner and give them the attention and care they require to turn 'I do' into 'I still do.'" —Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting (and The Divorce Remedy, forthcoming)

"Take Back Your Marriage is full of wisdom and realism. Bill Doherty is one of America's most experienced and knowledgeable family experts. He tells us how to take back our marriages from consumerism, frantic activity, our kids, misguided counselors, and well-intentioned family members. This is a desperately needed and welcome message." —Don Browning, PhD, coauthor of From Culture Wars to Common Ground: Religion and the American Family Debate

"Great—a guide to making good marriages better! Doherty is an optimistic therapist of clear values, uncommon wisdom, and unimpeachable humanity. In the engaging Take Back Your Marriage, he dissects the disordered priorities, expectations, and commitments, the bad therapists and destructive support systems, that doom so many marriages. He offers rituals of love and play that could revive any but the deadest unions. What a lovely and empowering way of looking at life and the things—like a loved and loving partner—that make it worth living." —Frank Pittman, MD, author of Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You A Happy Adult

Foryourmarriage.org
"[A] combination of wisdom and realism...marks this good book."--Foryourmarriage.org
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781572308794
  • Publisher: Guilford Publications, Inc.
  • Publication date: 5/15/2003
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 184
  • Product dimensions: 6.10 (w) x 8.94 (h) x 0.51 (d)

Meet the Author

William J. Doherty, PhD, is Professor and Director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. Past President of the National Council on Family Relations, Dr. Doherty was named one of America's 10 most innovative therapists by the Utne Reader. His numerous books include Take Back Your Kids.

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Table of Contents


Introduction
1. Take Back Your Marriage
2. Resisting Consumer Marriage
3. Don't Lose Your Marriage to Your Kids
4. Take Back Time for Your Marriage
5. Resist Family and Friends Who Would Undermine Your Marriage
6. Resist Therapists Who Threaten Your Marriage
7. Preventing Unnecessary Divorce
8. Intentional Marriage: Connection Rituals in
Everyday Life
9. Intentional Marriage: Love Rituals
10. Intentional Marriage: Anniversaries and Other Special Occasions
11. Every Marriage Supported by a Community
12. Taking Action for Your Marriage
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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Posted April 20, 2010

    Very Helpful Perspective

    Doherty presents a useful perspective that analyzes how our consumerist society exerts pressures that pull people apart in a marriage. Marriage has changed over the decades, and our expectations today are very different than the expectations that couples brought to their marriages in our parents' generation. These days, we're likely to be much more demanding of the ways in which we want our marriages to "measure up," which is often a tall--and unrealistic--approach. Doherty encourages the use of rituals in marriage, to help a couple to maintain connection, even when divorce is no where in the picture. This book is helpful to not only those couples how might be struggling with the decision to divorce, but may have even more value to those couples who want to be protective of this most important of relationships. The title of the book may fail to attract those couples who want to protect their relationship, as well as the couples who are already in trouble.

    I also like that this book is more about encouraging an attitude shift, rather than a "communication how-to handbook" that tries to force a couple into some kind of stilted, awkward, only-in-a-therapist's-office communication pattern.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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