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"Though love feels magical, a loving marriage is anything but magic. There are definite formulas to marriages that work and those that don't. Take Back Your Marriage uncovers the insidious forces working against lasting love and commitment, and offers down-to-earth methods to guard against and overcome them. It reminds and inspires us to take our marriages off the back burner and give them the attention and care they require to turn 'I do' into 'I still do.'" --Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting (and The Divorce Remedy, forthcoming)
"Take Back Your Marriage is full of wisdom and realism. Bill Doherty is one of America's most experienced and knowledgeable family experts. He tells us how to take back our marriages from consumerism, frantic activity, our kids, misguided counselors, and well-intentioned family members. This is a desperately needed and welcome message." --Don Browning, PhD, coauthor of From Culture Wars to Common Ground: Religion and the American Family Debate
"Great--a guide to making good marriages better! Doherty is an optimistic therapist of clear values, uncommon wisdom, and unimpeachable humanity. In the engaging Take Back Your Marriage, he dissects the disordered priorities, expectations, and commitments, the bad therapists and destructive support systems, that doom so many marriages. He offers rituals of love and play that could revive any but the deadest unions. What a lovely and empowering way of looking at life and the things--like a loved and loving partner--that make it worth living." --Frank Pittman, MD, author of Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You A Happy Adult
Posted April 20, 2010
Doherty presents a useful perspective that analyzes how our consumerist society exerts pressures that pull people apart in a marriage. Marriage has changed over the decades, and our expectations today are very different than the expectations that couples brought to their marriages in our parents' generation. These days, we're likely to be much more demanding of the ways in which we want our marriages to "measure up," which is often a tall--and unrealistic--approach. Doherty encourages the use of rituals in marriage, to help a couple to maintain connection, even when divorce is no where in the picture. This book is helpful to not only those couples how might be struggling with the decision to divorce, but may have even more value to those couples who want to be protective of this most important of relationships. The title of the book may fail to attract those couples who want to protect their relationship, as well as the couples who are already in trouble.
I also like that this book is more about encouraging an attitude shift, rather than a "communication how-to handbook" that tries to force a couple into some kind of stilted, awkward, only-in-a-therapist's-office communication pattern.
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Posted November 28, 2011