Take My Wife

( 5 )

Overview

Marriage is like a violin.

When the sweet music is over, there are still strings attached.

My wife is an angel.

She's always flying around the house harping about something.

"Doctor, doctor, my wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this ...

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Take My Wife: 523 Jokes, Riddles, Quips, Quotes, and Wisecracks About Love, Marriage, and the Battle of the Sexes

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More About This Book

Overview

Marriage is like a violin.

When the sweet music is over, there are still strings attached.

My wife is an angel.

She's always flying around the house harping about something.

"Doctor, doctor, my wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?"

"No, you idiot! This is her husband!"

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge, and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what’s in bed, and go to the fridge.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, either the car is new—or the wife is.

I married Miss Right.

I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781579125974
  • Publisher: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc.
  • Publication date: 4/28/2008
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 927,644
  • Product dimensions: 5.38 (w) x 7.25 (h) x 0.56 (d)

Meet the Author

Hugh Payne is the author of Yo Mama is So... and Take My Wife... He lives in Northern New Jersey.

Martha Gradisher is an award-winning illustrator whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, Reader's Digest, and Funny Times. She lives in South Nyack, New York.

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Table of Contents

Introduction: For better…or worse!
Chapter 1: Take my wife…
Chapter 2: I do: Hilariously hitched Chapter 3: I did: Newlyweds Chapter 4: Fifth Anniversary Chapter 5: Twentieth Anniversary Chapter 6: Fiftieth Anniversary Chapter 7: Divorce Epilogue: Something borrowed, a few things "blue"

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 5 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(3)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(1)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(1)

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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 14, 2013

    Should I..........

    Should I get this book????????????????????
    ??

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 16, 2012

    Hahahahaha

    i could not stop laughing OMG i highly recomend this book for the ages 15 and up :)

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 19, 2012

    V

    B

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2008

    remarkable

    it's funny. it's so outrages

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2008

    A reviewer

    When my friend and I sat down and read this book together, we couldn't stop laughing. There was a lot of sexual humor as well, but overall there was plenty that we could read out loud to each other without feeling awkward with my brother (aka her boyfriend) sitting right next to us...and luckily not paying much attention! Several times we had to stop reading because we couldn't breathe and were crying from how painful the hysterical laughter had become. My brother had to remind us several times that we were in a book store and should really consider being a little quieter...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
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