Take My Wife? 523 Jokes, Riddles, Quips, Quotes and Wisecracks About Love, Marriage, and the Battle of the Sexes

Take My Wife? 523 Jokes, Riddles, Quips, Quotes and Wisecracks About Love, Marriage, and the Battle of the Sexes

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by Martha Gradisher, Hugh Payne
     
 

Marriage is like a violin.
When the sweet music is over, there are still strings attached.

My wife is an angel.
She's always flying around the house harping about something.

"Doctor, doctor, my wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?"
"No, you idiot! This is her husband!"

Why are married women

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Overview

Marriage is like a violin.
When the sweet music is over, there are still strings attached.

My wife is an angel.
She's always flying around the house harping about something.

"Doctor, doctor, my wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?"
"No, you idiot! This is her husband!"

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge, and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what’s in bed, and go to the fridge.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, either the car is new—or the wife is.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781579125974
Publisher:
Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc.
Publication date:
04/28/2008
Pages:
224
Sales rank:
1,425,002
Product dimensions:
5.37(w) x 7.25(h) x 0.62(d)

Meet the Author

Martha Gradisher is an award-winning illustrator whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, Reader's Digest, and Funny Times. She lives in South Nyack, New York.

Hugh Payne is the author of Yo Mama is So... and Take My Wife... He lives in Northern New Jersey.

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