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Talk Like a Winner!: 21 Simple Rules for Achieving Everyday Communication Success


Communication is one of life's most basic skills, yet the vast majority of people have never been taught a simple way to master it... until now! In this easy-to-understand book, you'll learn how to handle the 21 most critical steps to accelerating your success with everyday communication. Using these powerful ideas in your daily routine will allow you to take charge of your own life in the following ways: Develop unshakable self-confidence, Connect quickly & easily with others, Keep your romantic connections ...
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Communication is one of life's most basic skills, yet the vast majority of people have never been taught a simple way to master it... until now! In this easy-to-understand book, you'll learn how to handle the 21 most critical steps to accelerating your success with everyday communication. Using these powerful ideas in your daily routine will allow you to take charge of your own life in the following ways: Develop unshakable self-confidence, Connect quickly & easily with others, Keep your romantic connections alive, Get other people to like & respect you, Bring out the best in yourself & others, Avoid costly & unnecessary arguments, Build strong & healthy relationships that will last you a lifetime, Enjoy the unlimited freedom of self-expression anytime & anywhere.
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Editorial Reviews

Clarion Reviews
The author has gained his current communication prowess not only by learning from painful mistakes, but also by stepping out of his comfort zone and approaching new situations with an open mind. He has received two Writer s Digest International Book Awards for his other books, Dating Rocks! and Men Are Like Fish. He was also a human relations and communications instructor for Dale Carnegie and Associates and served as a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) personal development trainer for Tony Robbins for seven years.
"...It might be wise to admit what you don t know as well as what you do know about any given subject," Nakamoto says about choosing what to share in a conversation. We've all known someone who seems to know something about everything, no matter how obscure the topic. It can be annoying to converse with these types of people, but we might not recognize when we do it ourselves. This section of the book gives good tips for breaking annoying conversation-killing habits like these. Ending a conversation can be just as difficult as starting one. If you don t think about how to close a conversation you can inadvertently leave a bad impression. Nakamoto shares an experience he had with a professional volleyball player: ...I thanked the pro for his time and input. But what I remember most from our interaction was that he didn t reply to me by saying... You're welcome ... instead he simply turned and walked away from me. The book offers lots of useful tips, exercises, and techniques for those just beginning to explore communication techniques, rather than more experienced communicators. Some of the advice and tips are a little cliche, but the overall quality of the book is good.Talk Like a Winner is recommended to those interested in working on relationships and communication dynamics.
Midwest Book Review
Steve Nakamoto, in his recently published "Talk Like a Winner!: 21 Simple Rules for Achieving Everyday Communication Success" helps the reader to successfully get the message across by conveying thoughts and ideas effectively, eliminating any breakdown in communication. Nakamoto gives simple and concise steps to abolish any challenge in conveying thoughts and ideas effectively, whether written or verbal. His techniques provide insight in communicating efficiently and successfully in personal and workplace situations.

Some of the 21 steps that Nakamoto covers are: think, learn, assess, engage, observe, compliment, ask, reflect and succeed. The steps he gives are in succession of learning effective communication. He makes it clear in the beginning of the book that the steps are for "private speaking" not "public speaking." However, bein ,g engaged in the latter, many of the same rules apply. There are a number of ways to use Nakamoto's book and those are suggested in the beginning. For the purpose of this review I chose to go through the book quickly and capture the main points Nakamoto is giving the reader. Now, I will return to the beginning of the book and take a step a week and concentrate on improving, being conscious of the step in all my communication.

I like that way Nakamoto helps us understand the circumstances around each situation and gives effective pointers to improve ourselves. I also like "The Bottom Line" after each chapter. The words of wisdom summarize the chapter and take the reader one step closer to "talk like a winner."

"Talk Like a Winner!" is highly recommended for anyone that wants to polish up their self-confidence, learn new skills incommunication, built stronger relationships, or learn how to bring out the best in themselves. Whatever the reader chooses to improve, the bottom line will be they will "talk like a winner"!
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780967089355
  • Publisher: Java Books
  • Publication date: 1/28/2008
  • Pages: 240
  • Product dimensions: 8.44 (w) x 8.78 (h) x 0.56 (d)

Table of Contents

Introduction     9
How to use this book     21
Think: Operate from an enlightened mindset     25
Learn: Stretch your communication range     37
Assess: Determine the type of situation you're facing     47
Smile: Start your conversations in a friendly way     57
Choose: Select the right subjects to discuss     67
Engage: Grab the attention of your listeners     77
Express: Learn how to say it well     87
Impact: Say it with the proper emotion     97
Re-live: Tell interesting personal stories     107
Observe: Recognize when other people aren't responding     117
Adjust: Get your listeners more involved     127
Listen: Become an outstanding audience     137
Control: Prevent your conversation from turning negative     147
Compliment: Make other people feel appreciated     157
Ask: Pose questions that help increase the flow     167
Evaluate: Understand the underlying message     177
Align: Seek the common ground     187
Respond: Choose an appropriate reply     197
Finish: End on a memorable positive note     207
Reflect: Find value in every conversation     217
Succeed: Build yourreputation one conversation at a time     227
About The Author     236
Reader Views Book Reviews     237
Unconscious Rapport Skills     238
Anger Management Strategies     239
Free Bonus! (a {dollar}123.85 retail value)     240
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Sort by: Showing all of 15 Customer Reviews
  • Posted November 9, 2008

    Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Achieving Everyday Communication Success by Steve Nakamoto

    Talk about a big winner! This is a book that gets to the heart of interpersonal communication successes and problems. Steve Nakamoto offers the reader many important insights into better communication techniques in an easy-to-digest format. He shares some highly personal foibles and triumphs with the reader. Many of us could benefit from his mistakes and good common sense advice. I recommend this book for anyone who feels challenged in their conversational abilities. It has helped me!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 27, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Steve Nakamoto has provided a very entertaining and readable sel

    Steve Nakamoto has provided a very entertaining and readable self help guide for improving your private and public conversations. I say public conversations because inevitably as you improve on the former your confidence in the latter will also grow. I liked his real life examples from his own twenty plus years of adult speaking. Some were mistakes he made and some were accomplishments; both added to the easy style with which the book flows. Steve provides 21 simple steps to better your communication. They are simple because they all revolve around an action word such as smile, engage, observe etc. You may know these "Rules" but do you follow them? Have you improved on them since leaving your last educational school? What steps can you take now to better your everyday communication? Nakamoto provides the answers to all these questions and more. His "bottom" line conclusions to end each chapter keep you focused on the right path.

    This book is perfect for anyone that wants to be welcomed into everyday conversations with open arms and not forsaken to the social unwanted list. It will have a prominent spot in my library from now on.

    I can honestly say I will a better conversationalist thanks to this book!

    Sam Hendricks, author Fantasy Football Guidebook and Fantasy Baseball for Beginners

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  • Posted September 4, 2011

    Good Resource to Anyone Who Talks to Others

    In "Talk Like A Winner", Steve Nakamoto offers 21 tips on applying the basic social skills of personal communications most of us have forgotten or never learned. His book does present anything new because there is nothing new in how two humans communicate. What is new and unique with "Talk Like A Winner" is the simplicity of how Nakamoto explains the material and how the book is organized.

    On the book cover is a quote from Brian Tracy. I did not need to read too far to see that Nakamoto is a student of Tracy, and a good one at that. The book is broken into 21, 10-page chapters, each teaching a specific skill of personal communications. Each chapter is laid out exactly the same. I like the consistent organization; an excellent way to learn.

    "Talk Like A Winner" would make an great text for class on personal communications. A class that should be taught many times during a students career.

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  • Posted August 22, 2011

    Outstanding, Brilliant, Original!

    Outstanding, Brilliant, Original! Talk Like a Winner has been one of the best books I've read on this subject. If you are looking to be a master communicator, want to learn how to speak in a group, or one-on-one - and everything in between - Steve's book will show you how in an easy this read and use book.
    Kelly Ann Evers
    Author of Hurt No More! A Journey of Healing from Abuse
    Founder of His Love Heals, Domestic Violence Help

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  • Posted August 12, 2011

    Privately Speaking

    What I really liked about Steve Nakamotos's book is that it is practical and easy to read. At the start the book explains it is for private speaking as opposed to professional or public speaking. As one who prides herself as an excellent communicator, I appreciated Steve making this distinction. Private speaking is where connections and networking are made on a more personal one on one level.

    The practical examples provided for each of 21 different communication skills were really helpful. I loved that I could read chapter by chapter, or select the topic which best suited my current need. The day I picked up the book, I needed a refresher course on Chapter 15 "Ask." In a new sales position I was told I should ask more questins instead of giving out more information. This is difficult for me to do, however, after reading the chapter I was able to immediately employ one of the strategies Steve suggested, "what do you mean by that?" Instead of trying to sell to the person, I saw immediate success by asking her questions instead, while also defusing the person's own rebuttle through the use of a question.

    Since I had an immediate need, reading the chapters which most aptly fit my situation was helpful, although I can see how this book would be great for a book study or self study course where individuals could focus on one chapter/communication skill at a time. Because it is filled with stories and practical examples, it really helped me to grasp the communication technique which was being explained. Not to mention each chapter has a "Bottom Line" which sums everything up into one solid gold nugget.

    I also liked that the chapters were short and easy to read. Plenty of room in the margins for me to make notes, and I like to make notes! With a limited amount of time, I was able to digest an entire chapter while waiting on my husband to complete a job estimate. It was perfect. So whether you have 21 days to learn 21 communication techniques or just a few minutes - you can gain valuable information.

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  • Posted April 10, 2011

    The Best Book I've Read About Conversational Skills

    I've read Steve Nakamoto's previous books, "Men Are Like Fish" and "Dating Rocks!" and was enthusiastic about seeing his newest work.

    It certainly does not disappoint! Nakamoto has held a number of jobs as what might be called a "professional schmoozer," including as a tour guide, Anthony Robbins seminar speaker, motivational speaker and personal development trainer. In all of these positions, one must be able to handle any type of conversation in a smooth, pleasant manner. When the topic is light and pleasant, it's not difficult; when the topic is controversial, confrontational, or otherwise difficult, it takes considerable conversational expertise to prevent a situation from deteriorating into a disaster. The topic of this new book is how this can be done in ways that create a positive experience.

    The book provides 21 chapters on various concepts about interpersonal skills, including how to observe, how to listen, and how to create positive results. Each chapter lists some "do and don't" topics, and then provides a number of examples and checklists to help the reader develop the particular skill being discussed. And, these are skills. Skills can be learned by anyone who want to put the effort into the task.

    Nakamoto points out that even if your conversational efforts have often gone awry in the past, you can still choose to change the way you interact NOW.

    I found many of the points Nakamoto makes to be based on common sense, but not everyone in today's world has a great grasp of common sense. It helps to have someone sit down and remind us about some of these points. For example, my favorite chapter was the one on listening. It's a skill, one that, in my family, needs serious development! I have been putting the points made in that chapter to good use, and already am seeing wonderful results just in quiet, normal interactions with friends.

    As a normally shy individual, I must admit that doing some of the things Nakamoto suggests will be a stretch for people like me, but the results are incredible. Instead of leaving a conversation thinking "I wish I had done that instead," I am beginning to see how some of the conversational disasters I've encountered in the past might have been altered. As someone who occasionally has to speak in public to various groups, there is a lot of information in the book that can have huge impact for me personally.

    This is one of the best books written about human interaction that I've read in the last ten years. A lot of authors offer hints and tips that, ultimately, prove worthless because there is no way to gracefully include them in actual conversations. This book provides real, solid concepts that can help anybody who might have to suffer through some interaction that is boring, tedious, or irritating. It can also help with conversations that are light-hearted, pleasant, and enjoyable. I highly recommend it to anyone who truly wants to change how they communicate with others.

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  • Posted March 18, 2011

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    Well Worth Your Time

    Book covers thoroughly every aspect of communications pointing out mistakes people make and how to correct them Awareness is the key, and self-evaluation is mandatory. Author recommends "other" awareness as well as self-awareness. Focus on inclusiveness and your communication skills will most definitely improve. Of special interest is his discussion of dating behavior. I always noted how much time anyone I met talked about himself as opposed to showing interest in my life and my achievements. I cannot tell you how many people I have met who I know a lot about who know little or nothing about me - or care. He recommends tackling one task per day to improve communication, which reminds me of my Method Weight Management book in which I recommend making diet changes one at a time. Gradual change is permanent change. The book also abounds with interesting quotes, and the bottom half of page 32 is worth the price of the book. It begins "My father always told me . . ." Learn from this man!

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  • Posted March 13, 2011

    TALK LIKE A Winner

    Steve Nakamoto will inspire you to be the best communicator! What he does is show you that no matter what the circumstance, you most definitly can follow his 21 Simple Rules easily and successfully. If you find that you need some coaching to insure that you are able to navigate easily in a social or business setting, this is the book for you. I could see this book used in a corporate environment when they are training their leaders to communicate as best as they can in any situation. "Talk Like a Winner" will give you the tools needed to express yourself anytime and anywhere. I would have to say that one of the areas that he addresses is the fact that most of us have poor listening skills. We are easily distracted and not giving the person our full attention when they are trying to communicate with us. We all need a little more self confidence in our daily communications and Steve has covered it all with this easy to understand and implement book.

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  • Posted March 8, 2011

    Get Others To Like & Respect You!

    Steve Nakamoto's book,"Talk Like A Winner!", has the best 21 simple rules for achieving everyday communication success that I have ever read. This book is well written, and easy to read and learn the rules within.
    My purpose for reading "Talk Like A Winner!" was two-fold; To be able to communicate with my grandchildren in a private manner. And, to be able to communicate publicaly at my Church and Social Clubs. After reading this book, I feel 100% more confident than before.
    This book will help all ages communicate better and build strong and healthy relationships.

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  • Posted June 28, 2010

    Talk Like a Winner: 21 Simple Rules for Achieving Everyday Communication Success-A Winner!

    First and foremost, I appreciate author Steve Nakamoto's candor when it comes to revealing his own social angst and challenges in life. I always admire someone who is confident enough to be vulnerable with his or her own foibles as opposed to hiding behind a façade of professional accomplishments. On the topic of professional accomplishments, Mr. Nakamoto certainly has a background that sets a resume apart. His other books, "Dating Rocks!" and "Men Are Like Fish" each won an award from Writer's Digest. In addition, Mr. Nakamoto served as a human relations and communications instructor for Dale Carnegie and Associates, not to mention that he fulfilled the role of a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) personal development trainer for Tony Robbins for seven years. Winning stuff to be sure!

    In his introduction, he states, "For most of my life, I've had a terrible fear of public speaking. I remember one regrettable time when I gave an oral report in my 7th grade English class and started shaking and gasping for air." He goes on to say that his English teacher shamed him in front of the class. From the introduction to the end, as a whole, it's a gutsy book outlining rules written by a gusty man.I mean, how many people intimidated by social situations go on to become tour directors for tourists?

    Mr. Nakamoto's simple strategies to help people succeed in everyday conversations broken down into twenty-one rules are, as the title suggests, simple. He expounds on one rule per chapter. Some of them, however, become a bit too elementary (for example, talk about current events; smile; make people laugh). On the other hand, the bulk of the book gives the reader many ideas to mark with a yellow highlighter. For instance, "Interrupt the negative talk with a surprise physical movement." (Can't wait to try it!)

    I think, also, that Mr. Nakamoto needed to add a chapter that detailed the importance of being a skilled conversationalist without the need for forsaking one's true personality. The point is, sometimes the book's pointers sound forced and seem to promote phoniness and not authenticity.

    Overall, though, the book makes for a winning not forget your highlighter.

    Stacy Lytwyn Maxwell, Author/Book Reviewer/Teacher

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  • Posted June 14, 2010

    Insightful and Candid Talk

    Talk Like A Winner! is a winner. Steve Nakamoto offers a refreshing and candid look at achieving success in everyday communication. He shares his knowledge and experience in his insightful tips to the reader to become a better communicator. If you want to improve your communication with others, this is an easy-to-read and wonderful book to have.

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  • Posted January 9, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Good Pointers

    Too shy to strike up a conversation? Can get one started but cannot keep it going? Or is it that you are often putting your foot in your mouth? You¿d be surprised at how many of us out there need help in basic communication skills. Steve Nakamoto, the author of Talk Like a Winner: 21 Simple Rules for Achieving Everyday Communication Success, is considered and expert in this area. Steve has been interviewed on a plethora of media outlets: television, radio, newspapers, magazines¿ But until now Steve Nakamoto has been considered more of a dating expert. He was previously the author of the best sellers Men are like Fish and Dating Rocks which shot him initially to fame and led to his career as the ¿Ask Mr. Answer Man¿ on Steve has helped a multitude of women with dating and now he aims to open up the field with his sage conversation advice. <BR/><BR/>Steve¿s book focuses on the 21 areas where people often find themselves weak when it comes to communicating with others. Personally when I looked at the table of contents I thought ¿Well, if there are any areas listed here where I am weak, it is because it is an area that I haven¿t cared to focus on.¿ But in reading the book I started to see areas that I thought before I was adequate and found that maybe I did need a little more work. Examples? Adjusting to get the listener more involved and controlling the flow of the conversation better to keep it from turning unnecessarily negative. The book is full of advice that, when heeded, will act as fillers to wherever you might have gaps in your skills. And in the areas where you might not have gaps Steve¿s advice can act as a reminder. <BR/><BR/>Talk Like a Winner was written in a way that if you already have a good idea of where your weaknesses lie you can go directly to the area in the book that covers the issue you might feel weak on, whether it be listening, smiling, responding or whatever, and you can focus on developing that part of your communication repertoire from the very beginning. Or you can do like I did and read the book from page one to the end and evaluate as you go. It is up to you really. <BR/><BR/>Steve Nakamoto¿s book was interesting to me overall mainly because I have always considered myself a fair conversationalist and have even considered that I get better with age because I feel more interested in others¿ life stories. When I was in high school I had even won awards for extemporaneous speaking at the Future Business Leaders of America conferences in my home state. But in reading this book I was reminded of one of the best conversationalists I have ever met in my life who¿d been in the back of my mind for some time now. This person was a man named Jason Kulgelman and he interviewed people for Pacifica Radio. Whenever you had finished a conversation with Jason you always felt like some kind of genius because he seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say and he asked lots of questions and he complemented you along the way. In reading Steve Nakamoto¿s book I was taken down a notch. I realized when going over Steve¿s various points that it wasn¿t that I was so smart but more likely that Jason was a master communicator. <BR/><BR/>But I suppose this is the whole point Steve Nakamoto was making with this book. If you master the art of interpersonal communication and learn to talk like a winner, you will be more interesting to lots more people.

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  • Posted December 27, 2008

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    In today's world, a civilized conversation almost seems like a lost art. Steve Nakamoto's book "Talk Like a Winner" puts civility and enjoyment back into conversing with your fellow man. Nakamoto has organized his book into easily understandable chapters of 21 rules. The rules are so common sense, it makes one wonder why everyone isn't a good conversationalist naturally. I recommend reading one chapter/one rule a day and applying that knowledge in the next day's conversation. You will be amazed at how quickly your new skills will become second nature. Now enjoy the good life with good conversations and being a winner!

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  • Posted December 28, 2008


    At first this book seems a little too simple. It is written in such an easy style that the reader glides through it without dissonance. The challenge is to re-read it and think about what it offers; hundreds of useful pointers on making everyday communication more effective. I started reading it chapter by chapter and then, delved into it at random. Call it spiritual guidance for the communication hampered, or whatever, when I started using it in the random fashion, I was hitting things that pertained quite accurately to me. It is a useful book. I've already recommended it to a mother whose daughters are distant, to friends who can't get spouses to listen and more people facing everyday communication challenges. What I like best about this book is that the author debunks a lot of hokey techniques recommended by others....such as stepping into someone's space and mimicing their voice and gestures. Those things are more annoying than effective and I appreciate that he sticks to the real, straightforward, means of saying what you want to say, in a kind and sensitive way. It's a good book to have on your shelf!

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  • Posted November 17, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    Talk Like a Winner!

    Talk Like a Winner!<BR/>Author: Steve Nakamoto<BR/><BR/>21 Simple Rules for Achieving Everyday Communication Success<BR/><BR/>Reader Book Review<BR/><BR/>By: Brian J. Donley<BR/>Author: ¿The Original Psychology of Success and Donley¿s Law¿<BR/><BR/>¿Talk Like a Winner!¿ a New Communication Masterpiece. In an era of already advanced communication technology, Steve Nakamoto blazes another new path to the top with ¿21 Simple Rules for Achieving Everyday Communication Success.¿<BR/><BR/>It¿s obvious after spending several weeks reading the rules and learning and applying the strategies, methods and ideas, that Steve put his heart, mind, body and soul into creating ¿Talk Like a Winner.¿ His character shines through with his honesty, enthusiasm, warmth, and love for human kind. His knowledge, wisdom, experience, and skills are there for the taking.<BR/><BR/>The journey starts with how ¿Talk Like a Winner!¿ evolved. A page describing, ¿How To Use This Book.¿ Next, 21 action related titles and how they apply to the book. Under each title is a simple but powerful rule followed up with some examples, wisdom and seven to eight strategies, methods or ideas. Last, some reflection back on what you just learned, along with some questions to lead you to evaluate and respond to future applications. The book ends with some information about the author, reader reviews, skills, strategies, and FREE bonus material.<BR/><BR/>From beginning to end ¿Talk Like a Winner!¿ is a winner in every sense. I believe this book is a must have for every man and women, for personal or professional use! Parents, your children will benefit from the skills you teach them from the strategies contain within at any age, saving you and them hard times in the future!<BR/><BR/>Some key areas of interest:<BR/>How to, stay away from energy draining negative topics.<BR/>How to, interrupt negative pattern discussions.<BR/>How to, find energy charged positive topics that are relationship changing.<BR/>How emotional intensity naturally stimulates a listener¿s interest.<BR/>How to read body language or unspoken cue¿s from your audience.<BR/>Value of a Smile ¿ $ Priceless $ - ¿One of the smartest communication habits!¿<BR/>Value of Listening - $ Wisdom $ - ¿The more you listen the more valuable you become!¿<BR/>Value of a Sincere Compliment - $ Heavenly $ - ¿Changing your entire life for the better!¿<BR/><BR/>¿I have personally and professionally applied several strategies and methods with resounding success the past weeks! I affirm that I will continue to learn, apply and teach (be an example) to others moving forward!!!¿<BR/><BR/>Rating: ¿Talk Like a Winner¿ receives Donley¿s Five Star W.O.W (Words of Wisdom) rating!!!!!<BR/><BR/>Thank You Steve

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