(technically) DEAD

(technically) DEAD

3.8 115
by Naomi Kramer
     
 

Cooper's dead. But what's a nerd to do when Heaven doesn't believe in technology, and hell's hotter than an overclocked CPU? Panicking and running away back to Earth seems a perfectly logical reaction, especially since his beloved computer hasn't come with him. Of course, what to do then is a bit of a puzzle that only Linda can

Overview

Cooper's dead. But what's a nerd to do when Heaven doesn't believe in technology, and hell's hotter than an overclocked CPU? Panicking and running away back to Earth seems a perfectly logical reaction, especially since his beloved computer hasn't come with him. Of course, what to do then is a bit of a puzzle that only Linda can solve...

This is a very short book - novelette length - around 10 000 words or 40 (print) pages.

DEAD(ish) books can be read as a series, beginning with DEAD(ish), or as stand-alone stories.

Warning: Contains frequent foul language, adult themes, nerd-speak and Aussie insults. Not suitable for children.

Cooper says:

"I'm dead.
"This is sorta ####ing me off.
"I don't know what happened, though. One moment I was on my way to visit my girlfriend with a big bunch of flowers, and the next I saw a big bright light and a cloud and a crowd of dudes in dresses carrying harps. Holy ####, I thought, I'm dead! Then I thought - #####, that looks like a church choir, all low-tech and acoustic and stuff. That's not where I wanna be. Bet they don't have a single computer, or if they do it's like a 386 or something, all filled with dustbunnies. There's no way I'm getting stuck in a low-tech shiny place like that with acoustic music everywhere. That's a freaky version of hell. #### no. So I ran, or flew or something the #### away, and now I'm back home and I'm still dead.
"I think maybe my girlfriend killed me."

Linda says:

"Oh Lord, a few stubbies short of a sixpack as well as too dumb to go to heaven. This one's gonna be a barrel of fun. "

Krystal says:

"I can't believe the stupid little ######## thinks I did him in. Now I wish like #### that I had. What the #### is wrong with him? ####ing self-absorbed moron, can't believe he killed himself through arrant stupidity, so he's got to blame the only person who ever put up with him for more than five ####ing minutes."

Product Details

ISBN-13:
2940011131271
Publisher:
Naomi Kramer
Publication date:
10/29/2010
Series:
DEAD(ish) , #2
Sold by:
Smashwords
Format:
NOOK Book
Sales rank:
935,655
File size:
382 KB
Age Range:
18 Years

Meet the Author

Naomi Kramer is an Australian author living in Ipswich, Queensland. She's addicted to coffee, dyes her hair odd colours, and looks a little like a corporate hippy on weekdays. She loves the beach, and her dream is to own a world-class barista.

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technically DEAD 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 114 reviews.
Katya_Sozaeva More than 1 year ago
Cooper is dead, and finds himself at heaven’s gate – what a bore! Low-tech, wooden doors, acoustic instruments (harps, anyone?), and not a computer to be seen. So, back to Earth he goes – only, of course, he can’t interact with his computer, or talk to anyone … eventually he manages to turn on the TV. Good enough. Of course, that’s not OK with heaven – everyone needs an afterlife, even Cooper – so Linda is sent down to take him in hand and find out why he hasn’t left Earth, and Linda brings in Trent. Can Linda help Cooper to move on? This was a hilarious little story - I loved Krystal, Cooper’s ex – she sounds like my kinda person with her purple hair and piercings! I felt a little bad for Cooper, ‘cause I’ve known more than a few of the geeky persuasion, and often when you get past their shyness they’re pretty nice. Of course, then it turns out that Cooper really wasn’t that nice after all … but you’ll see what I mean. Super-fun little story – check it out!
KBareader More than 1 year ago
I loved this one even more than "ish"...Linda is awesome luv her. Cannot wait for "doorpost"
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I really liked this novella. "Technically Dead" is the sequel to "Dead-ish". They are two completely different books, but the humor and a few of the characters remain constant. It is about 100 Nook Tablet pages in length. The language has been toned down, but many curse words are still present. If you read the introduction, then you would have noticed the adult language and mature material warnings. Linda, the ghost from "Dead-ish", is finally enjoying heaven. Suddenly, an archangel appears to tell Linda that she has a job to do on Earth. Linda, with her usual tact and grace, leaves heaven in order to help an earthbound spirit find an afterlife. His name is Cooper the computer nerd, geek, etc. He initially believes that he was murdered. Re-enter, P.I. extraordinaire, Trent. He talks to the ex-girlfriend and reads the autopsy report. All of the evidence points to natural death. With that out of the way we can get to the real story. Simply put, how does someone like Linda help a guy like Cooper find his happy place in the afterlife? It takes effort and a lot of patience, neither of which Linda excels at. It all leads to some humorous situations. There was no forced twist ending, which was good because it was not necessary. The pacing in this book was slower, compared to the first book. And, suspense was significantly decreased. The new and old characters were more developed, as well. Recommended to older readers due to mature language. -AvidReader
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love this book get this now
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Quick read loved the story
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fun little read, took me about 15 minutes tops. It flowed well, but the ending left me a little irked.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Read ish and doorpost i say this is the most funniest book out of the dead series
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Not as good as others by this author
Mindwyrm More than 1 year ago
Funny, brash, and highly Irreverent. This series just keeps making me laugh. A ghost having to leave her hot tub, foot massage boy, and bottomless bottle of Baileys to come back and assist a new ghost on his journey to an afterlife. I loved it. The ending was, as a geek, simultaneously painful and hilarious. Looking forward to more.
Amber Eden More than 1 year ago
this book was a decent read. it was only 99? so its worth the buy. The first book Dead(ish) was better in my opinion.
jsboriqua More than 1 year ago
This follow-up to Dead(ish) was not disappointing. Very quick read but humorous with an amazingly unique yet slightly twisted view of what most of us think of "Heaven" and "Angels". Either way, if Naomi Kramers descriptions of the afterlife are accurate, then death holds a totally exciting new option for us all. ::WARNING:: TONS of bad language but it fits perfectly with Naomi's slanted Aussie style.
Desha More than 1 year ago
I loved it. Great! Just great!
W_I_L_L_O_W More than 1 year ago
must check this book out but i dident like this one as much as i liked dead(ish) but u will get hooked !
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Its an awesome book. Of course theyre gonma charge you. Be happy the first one was free and the rest are 99cents
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The first book was awesome but a little to short and had to much cussing oh an i also wish it was free but if you change those problems i would give it 5 stars.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I really want to read it but my mom says it has too much cussing make one without all the cursing! Please? I really want to read it!!!!!!and why is it 0.99 cents make it free like the first one witch by the way was way to short and kin of confusing oh and by the way ...... HIIIIIIII!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Awesome book need next book
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52rb More than 1 year ago
Great little book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is so funny! A must read.