Teen Love: On Friendship

Overview

This second volume in Kimberly Kirberger's bestselling Teen Love series offers teens a look at friendship from the perspective of their peers. Teens candidly touch on all aspects of friendship--from making and keeping friends to losing friends and growing apart, from learning to be a friend to themselves to discovering that their feelings for a special friend have grown into a deeper form of love.

Because friendships are of paramount importance to teens-and because Kirberger ...

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Overview

This second volume in Kimberly Kirberger's bestselling Teen Love series offers teens a look at friendship from the perspective of their peers. Teens candidly touch on all aspects of friendship--from making and keeping friends to losing friends and growing apart, from learning to be a friend to themselves to discovering that their feelings for a special friend have grown into a deeper form of love.

Because friendships are of paramount importance to teens-and because Kirberger combines life lessons for teens from teens with her own unique brand of compassion and nonjudgmental wisdom-this book is sure to be as much of a hit with readers as Teen Love : On Relationships. In anticipation of the success of On Friendship, its companion journal is scheduled to be released in Spring 2001.

On Friendship is divided into chapters that include Being Yourself; Being Your Own Best Friend; Making Friends; Silver and Gold Friends; Friends and Lovers; Growing Apart; Lessons in Friendship; and Long-Distance Friends.

Teen Love : On Friendship is sure to be the next bestseller in this series, and a must-read for all teens.

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Editorial Reviews

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Our Review
I don't remember exactly how we became friends, but from the time I was two years old, Michelle was a permanent fixture in my life. As toddlers we had play dates and attended each other's birthday parties. In elementary school, we would get together on weekends, playing board games, going to G-rated movies, and dressing up our Barbie dolls. And by the time we were in fifth grade, we were inseparable. Our paths were entwined, and I couldn't fathom not being friends with Michelle. But of course, as we became teenagers, our lives changed, and our friendship gradually began to disintegrate.

There is help in understanding why Michelle and I drifted apart, found in Kimberly Kirberger's Teen Love: On Friendship: A Book for Teenagers, the latest book from the coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul series. All of the stories and poems in the 11 chapters are about teen friendship, and most are written by teens, making this not only a compelling read but a bible for understanding the degree to which young people change between childhood and adolescence.

For a long time, I wondered exactly why Michelle and I grew apart. Was it just me? The resounding answer is no. Story upon story demonstrates the varying dynamics of a relationship. For instance, in "So Many Times Before," young author Kate Florig writes about a trivial misunderstanding with her best friend: Kate cuts her hair in the style her friend had wanted for herself. They exchange mean notes and fight for weeks before their mothers force them to reconcile. Writes Kate, "I'd like to say that we picked right up where we had left off, but in reality our friendship was never quite the same after that."

As Kate experienced, life seldom does give us the kiss-and-make-up scenes of Dawson's Creek and Beverly Hills 90210. But in every conflict, every disappointment, and every achievement, there is something to be gained. Colin Mortensen of Real World Hawaii fame, who contributes to Teen Love: On Friendship: A Book for Teenagers, points out that it is essential not to stifle our own needs. He writes: "Growing apart from friends -- although painful -- can often make room for new friends and new experiences."

By the time I entered eighth grade, it was clear that my childhood friend and I were going in separate directions. Our yearbook superlatives seemed to forecast our future: Michelle was named Best Dressed, while I was labeled Future Yuppie. We found comfort in different groups that satisfied our individual needs, which had changed considerably since we had first met at age two. Kirberger, whose advice is sprinkled throughout the book, stresses the importance of being comfortable in your own skin: "[Being yourself] has to do with knowing yourself and liking yourself." Like most teenagers, we were figuring that out as we plodded along through high school.

Ultimately, the teens who contribute to Teen Love: On Friendship: A Book for Teenagers, are undergoing the same problems as their adolescent counterparts. But they bring clarity and self-awareness about topics such as love, loss, disappointment, and change to every page of this book, making it a treasure trove of advice on growing up.

--Soozan Baxter

KLIATT
This newest installment in the Chicken Soup series focuses on teenagers and the eternal quest for friendship, something we battle with for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, it's during these teenage years that friendship choices begin to become more complicated. This book addresses that with timely chapters on such topics as Being Yourself, What is Friendship, Challenges, and Friends in Trouble. The book finishes with resources for friends in trouble so you can still be a friend but also know how to best help the other person. This compilation of short stories and poems is extremely readable, enjoyable, and helpful. A great library or classroom collection strengthener. A young person will be able to pick and choose between a large variety of selections to answer his or her own questions. Plus, young people are very interested in the Chicken Soup series. KLIATT Codes: JSA*—Exceptional book, recommended for junior and senior high school students, advanced students, and adults. 2000, Health Communications, 384p, illus, 22cm, 00-058167, $12.95. Ages 13 to adult. Reviewer: Elsie Jacobs; Teacher & Libn., Kalispell, MT January 2001 (Vol. 35 No. 1)
School Library Journal
Gr 7 Up-Another entry from the publishers of Teen Ink: Our Voices, Our Visions (2000), and Teen Love: On Relationships (1999, both Health Communications). Chapter titles include: "Being Yourself!," "Being Your Own Best Friend," "What Is Friendship," "Friends in Trouble," "Growing Apart," and "The Best of Friendship." Each chapter contains a narrative definition of the topic; bits and pieces of insight and advice from the authors; quotes from famous people; and original poems, short stories, and personal remembrances written by teenagers. Information about the contributors appears at the end of the volume. The tone of the text, as in most inspirational books, is very emotional, and fans of that genre will not be disappointed. Put this book on your shelves with the hope that teenagers will find something in it that will enrich their lives.-Jana R. Fine, Clearwater Public Library System, FL Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781558748156
  • Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 10/1/2000
  • Series: Teen Love Series
  • Pages: 400
  • Sales rank: 1,112,914
  • Age range: 12 - 17 Years

Meet the Author

KIMBERLY KIRBERGER is the coauthor of the bestselling original Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul; the New York Times #1 bestselling Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II; Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Journal; Chicken Soup for the College Soul; Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul III; Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Letters; and Chicken Soup for the Parent's Soul. She is also president of Inspiration And Motivation for Teens, Inc. (I.A.M. for Teens) and frequently speaks to and in support of teens nationwide
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Read an Excerpt

A Brother's Love




—Colin Mortensen




Sometimes we look in all the wrong places and to all the wrong people to get the support we need. It's taken me a while to learn that friendship can be found closer than you think, even in your own home. Growing up, I knew I always had a great friend in my brother. Besides the biological connection we share, there's the common ground and shared history that has kept my brother and me bonded.


My brother and I have an ongoing tradition of never letting the other forget the mishaps that "accidentally" occurred between us during our childhood. To be fair, my "accidents" sometimes involved "accidentally" chasing him around the house with a golf club in my hand, swinging wildly. I preferred the irons (my favorite being the three-iron because you get a fuller swing with a longer club). Although my older brother patented the torturous technique of pinning my arms down with his knees, sitting on my stomach while I was on my back and almost letting his "spittle" drop on my face. If you don't know what spittle is, consider yourself lucky. My favorite memory is the time my brother threw a dart at the dartboard while I happened to be standing in front of it collecting the darts. I remember how he stood there, half-horrified, half-smiling, watching the dart hang from my back, drooping in my bare skin.


He also threw a truck at my knees when I was about four years old. To make matters worse, my dad decided he would make it a Kodak moment. Instead of making sure my brother stopped what he was doing, he pulled out the camera and took a picture. Neither of them feels any shame for this.They framed the picture and it hung in our kitchen for my entire childhood.


Another time that sticks in my mind is both painful and comforting. One night we were staying at my aunt's house and I was really sad about something. I just remember crying and crying in my brother's arms when we were trying to go to bed. I don't even remember what I was so sad about; the important thing is that I have this memory of knowing he was there for me and feeling comforted by him. In looking back, it is nice to know that two brothers could share that kind of emotion with each other without even thinking about it. Society tells guys not to show emotion, especially with each other, but that didn't stop us. We were so innocent. I love that memory.


We had—and still have—a strong bond. Through the years I probably went to my brother too few times when I was having trouble. I wish I had gone to him more often because he has a sweet and caring soul. The times I did confide in him felt very good. My pain or heartache never needed a context or an explanation. That is a feeling I experience so rarely in my life these days—feeling completely understood without even speaking. More often than not, my path feels lonely. But I've realized that discovering my own aloneness is even more of a reason to cherish a sibling I can relate to and confide in. Sometimes that is all one has, and it can be a most precious and enduring resource.




(c)2000. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Teen Love®: On Friendship by Kim Kirberger. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.




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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xiii
Introduction xxi
1. Being Yourself!
Being Yourself! 3
Lost in a Sea of Faces 7
What You Do Today 12
A Short Kind of Death 15
Black Fans 18
Myself 21
You Want to Be Different 26
Ways to Be Yourself and Love Yourself 29
2. Being Your Own Best Friend
Being Your Own Best Friend 33
Picking Up the Pieces 36
I Can Walk on Water 40
Love Bloomed for Me 44
Enjoying Being Me 47
Some Thoughts on "Being Your Own Best Friend" 51
3. What Is Friendship?
What Is Friendship? 54
Friendship Lives On 56
A Friend Is... 61
Friendship 65
Sporadic Hugging 67
A Real Friend 70
Closing Open Doors 71
Audition 78
4. Challenges in Friendship
Challenges in Friendship 82
So Many Times Before 85
The Road Is Never Too Long 92
Through It All 95
Suddenly, I Turned Around and My Best Friend Was There 99
The Rocky Road of Friendship 102
Angels 106
5. Making Friends
Making Friends 114
A Brother's Love 116
Bethany's Friendship 121
Friendship Is a Bond 125
Growing Pains 128
Forever Friends 134
6. Cliques, Groups and Popularity
Cliques, Groups and Popularity 136
Popular 139
Staring at Shadows 142
Put on the Shoes 145
You Don't Know Me 148
But When Nighttime Falls 151
The Greatest Gift 153
Torrie 163
All a Matter of Perspective 167
7. Friends and Lovers
Friends and Lovers 176
Friends for Life 179
The Smile 182
The Arms of a Friend 185
Christy 188
To Hide in Fear 194
Before 198
Once upon a Sometime 200
When Love Enters the Picture 202
No Time 207
Watch Out for the Quiet Ones 209
8. Jealousy, Hurt and Betrayal
Jealousy, Hurt and Betrayal 216
There All Along 220
Holding On to the Gold 227
Foolish Girl 231
You Win 233
Two of a Kind 235
Memories of the Past 241
King of the Mountain 245
Rudolf 248
Popsicles and Sticky Fingers 252
9. Friends in Trouble
Friends in Trouble 258
A Long Overdue Letter 260
My Beautiful Loss 264
No Truer Gift 268
Please, Don't Leave Me Now 270
The Ribbon 274
Thank You, My Friend 277
My Secret 278
I Can't Feel Elley Anymore 284
One Final Lesson 287
These Days 293
10. Growing Apart
Growing Apart 300
Learning How to Be a True Friend 302
Losing Lola 308
Once upon a Long Time Ago 313
Lollipop Days 316
Gold Friend 319
Goofy Pictures Will Never Fade 321
Losing Friends 325
A Smile So Genuine 329
Evolution of a Friendship 332
Even Though I Lost a Friend 337
11. The Best of Friendship
The Best of Friendship 340
Letter to a Friend 342
Dear Lauren 343
Best Friend 347
We Chose to Be Friends 350
Always 354
To My Best Friends 356
Perfect Memories 358
Resources for Friends in Trouble 361
Who Is Kimberly Kirberger? 365
Who Is Colin Mortensen? 367
Contributors 369
Permissions (continued) 379
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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 19, 2002

    This really relates to teens

    This book I believe really relates to all the ups and downs teenager's go through with their friends. I beleive this has great advice and it really gave me a better understanding that I was not the only one that goes through the many hardships with good friends. I really enjoyed this book. It made me laugh, mad, and a little sad. I really love these kind of books that tell about real life.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2000

    The 'Teen Love' books are the best books I've ever read!

    I have found this book to be so true to life and inspirating for me. I have been though so many ups and downs in my life with friendships and this book helps me to see that I am not the only one having these problems. I can't wait for another 'Teen Love' book to come out!!! Keep up the GREAT work! ;o)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 8, 2000

    This book really helped me

    I have always been a very happy person with many friends and a good life. Lately though things started getting complicated and most of it was because of my friends. They didn't do anything on purpose to hurt me but everything just changed. I felt very confused until I read this book. I realized that what I am going through and what they are going through is not that b ad after all. I also realized that I am changing too and it is okay. I loved this book because it cleared up many things for me and it was very fun to read. The advice is so good that I wrote some of it down and put it in my notebook. The stuff about not taking things personally is right there for me to read whenever I need to. I also liked the stories in this book. (better and more than in the relationships one) and it covers everything. They did a really good job. I think everyone who is in highschool (and jr high) should read it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 15, 2000

    I love teen love !!

    Okay ... I was sitting in English and my friend had the new teen love book . Since she was finishing up a test , I asked to borrow the book. Naturally , she aggreed.I just want everybody to know that I loved the book and that everyone school read it . The book was great ... every teen needs it. I haven't even finished it yet and I say that it is the best book yet ! I love it and I look forward to more books in the series . Thanks Kim and Colin... the book is great

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 7, 2000

    Friendship is the best

    I realized from reading this book just how much my friends mean to me. I called my best friend after every story and the great thing is I called an x-friend and read her one of the poems. We both cried and agreed to talk and try to work through our problems. I don't know what will happen but what was great was that after reading this book I wanted to try. The stories are great. I cried and laughed. This book will be close by me , like a friend, for a long time.

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