Teen Manners: From Malls to Meals to Messaging and Beyond

( 10 )

Overview

Let’s face it, how we behave is a choice, and as you move into adult life, the choices get more complicated. You are out in the world, meeting all kinds of people and going different places on your own. Questions of etiquette seem to pop up everywhere you go:

  • What’s the ...
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Overview

Let’s face it, how we behave is a choice, and as you move into adult life, the choices get more complicated. You are out in the world, meeting all kinds of people and going different places on your own. Questions of etiquette seem to pop up everywhere you go:

  • What’s the latest on cell phone use and netiquette?
  • How can you make a good impression at college and job interviews?
  • What fork do you use?
  • How do you attach a boutonniere without sticking your prom date?
  • And what is a boutonniere, anyway?

Not to worry, help is at hand!

Teen Manners: From Malls to Meals to Messaging and Beyond is a useful guide that answers questions that come up in real life from the most trusted name in etiquette: Emily Post.

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Editorial Reviews

Children's Literature - Ginny Sautner
Teens often get a bad rap for being rude and socially inept, yet for many teens it is not a matter of intentional rudeness but rather naivete. In this social etiquette rulebook, these tenets are expounded upon in a teen-friendly manner, making the information both accessible and instantly relatable to teens. First creating a sense of buy-in, the authors discuss why manners are so important in social settings. For teens, creating positive first impressions and maintaining relationships is a large concern and one that can easily be addressed by learning proper etiquette. The text delves immediately into real life situations that teens find themselves in everyday, ranging from text messaging or bumming a ride from a friend, to attending an upscale dinner or interviewing for a job or entrance into college. Instead of encouraging manners by lecturing teens on the principles of etiquette, this readable handbook provides believable examples and discusses the consequences of proper and improper actions. While teens might not necessarily find the topic of manners madly appealing, the text is approachable, realistic, and most importantly useful. This utility, grounded in real life examples and using informational bullet points to be precise and succinct, is an excellent resource for all teens to have. This teen guide would be an excellent source to provide social guidance to teens that might need a little help along their road to good etiquette. Reviewer: Ginny Sautner
VOYA
One of the more interesting facts in this small book on etiquette and manners for teens is where the word etiquette came from. King Louis XIV's head gardener, angered at visitors who walked on the grass and littered, put up little signs with instructions such as "Keep on the paths." Etiquette is the French word for "little sign" or "ticket." Thus etiquette is a sign on how to behave. As the subtitle implies, different situations are discussed, but all manners are based on respect, consideration, and honesty. There are certainly lots of good, practical etiquette and manners suggestions that are of use to all: how to introduce people (say the older person's name first) and text messaging (do not text in class, at meetings, or while driving). Much of the advice might not be considered etiquette or manners, but instead sound more like societal custom or awareness. One example is the section on clothing, in which the authors-related to Emily Post, the grand dame of etiquette and manners-talk about presenting an image and urge readers to think about their cleanliness, fit, and appropriateness. Related to this advice, they counsel that personal hygiene should include teeth brushing, daily showering, and deodorant use. Etiquette? Manners? For this reader, these are examples of societal dictums and not actually etiquette or manners. This fact does not negate the usefulness of the tips, but there is a bigger problem. Two teenaged nieces said that no teen will read this book unless they have to do so. Reviewer: Jane Van Wiemokly
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060881986
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 9/25/2007
  • Pages: 144
  • Sales rank: 187,110
  • Age range: 13 - 17 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.12 (h) x 0.61 (d)

Meet the Author

Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D., codirector of The Emily Post Institute, Inc., developed a training program for etiquette educators and conducts children's etiquette workshops across the U.S. and overseas. Cindy is the coauthor of all the Emily Post children's books, with her sister-in-law, Peggy Post.

Peggy Post, Emily Post’s great-granddaughter-in-law, is a director of The Emily Post Institute and the author of more than a dozen books. Peggy writes a monthly column in Good Housekeeping and an online wedding etiquette column for the New York Times.

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Read an Excerpt

Teen Manners
From Malls to Meals to Messaging and Beyond

Chapter One

Why Etiquette?

In this chapter we'll cover:

1. Etiquette is really about relationships. It can help you start new relationships and build and strengthen those you already have.

2. Etiquette can shape the way you interact with people and create the mood for your day.

3. Etiquette can guide you in unfamiliar situations and tell you what you can expect from other people. It can make every new situation a little easier.

4. Etiquette is about choices. You can act in ways that are respectful, considerate, and honest, or not.

A French Word from Yesterday for Today

In the seventeenth century King Louis XIV had a magnificent château with beautiful gardens and parks all around it. Often, when he hosted parties, people would walk all over the grass, pick the flowers, wade in the fountains, and leave litter behind. They didn't have formal gardens and parks at their own houses and didn't know how to behave. The head gardener went to the king in great distress and asked what he could do to keep things nicer. They decided to put up little signs all the over the place:

Keep on the paths
Enjoy the flowers, but please don't pick them
Stay out of the fountains
Please don't litter

The French word for "little sign" or "ticket" is etiquette. All these years later, etiquette still is simply a collection of "little signs" to guide us in unfamiliar situations. That guidance helps us get along better with others and feel more comfortable everywhere.

Whatis etiquette?

When asked this question, people often respond:

Saying please
Manners
Which fork you use
Taking off your hat
Thank-you notes
Respect
Caring for others

All of them are right. Some talk about specific manners, and some talk about principles that help us get along. Etiquette is actually a combination of both.

No matter what they think etiquette is, most people agree that it is important.

What Etiquette Is Not

A little pinkie stuck up in the air as you drink your tea
A limp-fish handshake
An officious, superior attitude toward others
A bow tie and white gloves
Old-fashioned and only for some people

Manners Matter

Manners tell you what to do in a myriad of situations. Are you going to a wedding and wondering what's expected? There are manners that will help you out. Are you going to your sister's concert and trying to decide what to wear? There are manners to guide your decision. Are you unsure how to reply to a party invitation? There are manners to help you respond, whether or not you can go. Sometimes manners tell you what to do in specific situations; sometimes they tell you what you can expect others to do.

Principles Matter More

So how do manners come into being? Who decides and how? That's where the principles come in. All manners are rooted in just three principles:

1. Respect: caring for and understanding others just as they are—whether they look different, come from different cultures, or have different beliefs. It is important to show respect for everyone with all his or her differences and similarities. And you look to others to show respect for you.

2. Consideration: thinking about how your actions will affect others around you.

3. Honesty: more than just not telling lies. If the truth might be hurtful, it means finding the most positive way you can to tell it . . . or sometimes keeping silent.

These principles are timeless and universal. Manners, the ways that people apply the principles of etiquette, change over time and from culture to culture, but the principles do not. It is respectful to greet someone when you meet, but the specifics of the greeting may be different. In some cultures you shake hands, in some you bow, but in all cultures the respectful thing to do is to greet the people you meet.

You can trace every manner in this book back to one of the principles. When society changes and new behaviors emerge (cell phone use, for instance), new manners develop too. For example, using a cell phone inconsiderately by talking really loudly on the phone at the movies disturbs other people. So the movie management might post a no cell phones sign. Soon people learn that loud talking in movie theaters is unacceptable. Over time those behaviors that show consideration and respect become the accepted norm, and new manners emerge.

Sometimes manners become obsolete. For example, it used to be accepted manners that the girl never called the boy for a date. Today girls often call boys and ask them out.

No matter what the situation is or where you find yourself, if you don't know the manners, all you need do is choose to act in a respectful, considerate, and honest way, and you'll do well. Whether or not you know the specific manners, you can act in a way that makes those around you feel good. Knowing the manners just makes it a bit easier. And while being considerate, respectful, or honest sometimes seems to benefit just the other person, it can make you a better person.

The Ultimate Benefit

Etiquette is all about relationships. When you meet someone and make your first impression, you set that relationship off in one direction. Changing direction is doable but difficult. Why not start out on the right path to begin with? Acting toward that person with respect and consideration—using good manners—will set things up in the best way possible.

Once the relationship is established, you can choose to build and strengthen it or not. How does it feel when a friend greets you warmly as if he is truly glad to see you? It's not rocket science. It really is that easy. All it takes is intention. Make using good manners a habit. Make the principles of etiquette the basis for how you act. If you do, you'll have the tools you need to begin, build, and strengthen all your relationships with friends and family. In addition,by choosing to use good etiquette, you'll develop a sense of self-respect and self-confidence that will make you a better friend and family member.

Teen Manners
From Malls to Meals to Messaging and Beyond
. Copyright © by Cindy Senning. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Customer Reviews

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2008

    Behaving Yourself Back in Vogue?

    Teen Manners. Is it an oxymoron? The Posts don't think so. It's a family affair with many of Emily's progeny continuing to spread the gospel of good manners. This is a pretty common sense book, but is not one that is going to fly off the shelves. It contains a variety of tips ranging from topics related to incessant text messaging, encountering your teacher and his/her date while he/she is out on the town to gracefully bailing on a party that turns keggish and includes a discussion about dating and the decision to have sex. The main message is respect yourself, don't get pressured into doing anything that would compromise the standards you want to hold to, and be respectful of those around you. Anna Post's website suggests that Emily's humorous commentary on manners, How to Behave Though a Dubutante, demonstrated Ms. Post's ability to connect with younger people while still placing emphasis on courteous behavior. The book is written in very proper language as befits the behavior the authors are promoting. Will students read it? A few might out of prurient curiosity. Some may even snicker at the concept that people could actually behave like this--a snicker that might be reinforced by some fairly retro illustrations. This would be an excellent resource for teachers who are teaching etiquette as part of a family and consumer sciences course or as a part of business behavior. Will it bridge the gap of an increasingly casual generation? We can only hope.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 31, 2014

    POSTURE

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 28, 2013

    Lacy its me

    I just at jessie text he said im a boy looking for a bf which btw means (boyfreind) so it must be a she

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 19, 2013

    Lacy to jesse

    Ummm me and Dash were really close. I dont know if were ofishle, but if not, id LOVE to be you GIRLFRIEND!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 21, 2013

    Shanna

    Kewlio. I live in Bristol, TN. Any siblings?

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    Wich one is different

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    Posted August 31, 2011

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