Ten Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out into the Real World

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Overview

*Starting at the bottom--over and over again

*Dealing with--and learning from--the Boss from Hell

*Giving up the Wedding Delusion, not to mention that one-way ticket to Happily Ever After

*Being asked to bend your principles--by your superiors

*Wanting to be a high-powered success and super parent

*Knowing that children will both exhaust and sustain you

*Facing that terrifying question: "What have I been put on this earth to do?"

You could call them notes from life's trenches. Maria Shriver's Ten Things I Wish I'd Known: Before I Went Out into the Real World gives us her reflections, confessions, advice, memories, and, most of all, hard-earned lessons...all the things we wish we knew before we started out, and that few people ever honestly discuss.

Here is the truth about: the price we pay for giving in to our fears, as well as the relief we feel when we finally face them; the humiliation of swallowing our ego so that we can learn from an abusive experience; the rewards of taking risks and the pain of failure; the joy of finding someone we can love and the limitations of every relationship; how it's never too late to tap the wisdom of others, even (especially!) our own parents; and the importance of taking what we do seriously without taking ourselves seriously.

Expanded from Maria's acclaimed College of the Holy Cross commencement address and written in the voice of a trusted and trusting best friend, Ten Things I Wish I'd Known: Before I Went Out into the Real World is a pithy, poignant, down-to-earth, and at times laugh-out-loud book that will help people of all ages and on all roads in life.

It's within you to carve out your own future, create your own destiny.

I wrote this book so that you might be spared. Not from having to learn the lessons I had to learn. No one can spare you that, because learning is experiential, and you have to do it yourself. As a wise person once told me: If I could spare you the pain you're experiencing, I wouldn't--because I wouldn't want to deprive you of the strength and wisdom you'll gain from having gone through it and come out the other side.

Each and every one of you is a powerful, resilient human being capable of living the life you design for yourself. I wish all of you the faith and the courage to pinpoint your passion.


About the Author:

Maria Shriver puts her "commas" in the following order: mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, Peabody Award- and Emmy Award-winning journalist, New York Times bestselling author (for What's Heaven?), and forty-plus woman desperately seeking more time, more patience, a homework helper, and a twenty-one-year-old's skin and body. She lives with her husband and four children in Santa Monica, California.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Following the success of her 1999 bestseller What's Heaven?, in which she explained death to children, the NBC anchor woman expands on a commencement speech she delivered two years ago at Holy Cross College in Worcester, Mass., to share some of her life lessons with young people starting their careers. Although this slim gift book is positioned as a graduation gift, Shriver's natural audience is more likely to be busy working mothers like herself, and celebrity watchers who are curious about her thoughts on managing marriage, motherhood and career (Shriver and husband Arnold Schwarzenegger have four children). In lessons that are mostly about work and character, she shares simple notions that are fundamentally sound and that many adults will agree with: pursue your passion; consider no job to be beneath you; be willing to fail; realize that behavior has consequences; find a mentor. Unfortunately, the warmth and humor Shriver may have projected in person are forced on the page. Although she tries to build rapport with amusing stories of early faux pas and setbacks in her journalism career, readers may have trouble relating to her main predicament--lack of appreciation from people who might have wondered if a beautiful, rich kid actually wanted a job--as well as her idea of disappointment: not being as successful as Oprah or Diane Sawyer. Even so, Shriver's strength of character, her genuine admiration for her parents and her love for her family shine through. (Apr.) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.|
School Library Journal
YA-Young adults will check this out for at least one of several reasons. They will like the short length. They'll get the scoop on the author and reporter and her high-profile husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the famous Kennedy family. More importantly, they will get the message about the significance of humility, passion, and laughter at home and in the workplace. Wearing the hat of a player and a coach, Shriver takes a learn-from-my-personal-experiences approach to this expanded version of the commencement address she gave to the students at Holy Cross College. The introduction is a funny anecdote about how she came to make that academic address, which she feared, and then to write this book. Through humorous examples, Shriver explores relationships with parents, siblings, supervisors, coworkers, spouse, children, and friends. As heavy as "life lessons" can be, this book is neither preachy nor pretentious; it's fast, smart, thoughtful, and fun. This quick read gives an intense flavor of what it is like to be part of a busy celebrity household. It reads like an autobiography with adventure and mystery mixed in.-Karen Sokol, Fairfax County Public Schools, VA Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.|

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780740733598
  • Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Publication date: 3/2/2003
  • Edition description: Mini Gift Edition
  • Pages: 104
  • Sales rank: 130,811
  • Lexile: 0940L (what's this?)
  • Product dimensions: 3.42 (w) x 3.82 (h) x 0.47 (d)

Meet the Author


Maria Shriver describes herself as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. She is also an award-winning journalist and the author of four bestselling books, What's Heaven?, Ten Things I Wish I'd Known--Before I Went Out into the Real World, What's Wrong with Timmy?, and What's Happening to Grandpa? Her fifth book is And One More Thing Before You Go.... She and her husband live in California with their four children, Katherine, Christina, Patrick, and Christopher.

Read an Excerpt



Chapter One


First and Foremost:
Pinpoint Your Passion


Be honest with yourself about it. really think about what you're interested in. What you enjoy, what captures your imagination and gets your brain going. What YOU want to do—not what you believe your parents or your teachers or society or your four brothers think you should do.

When I graduated back in 1977, all I wanted to do was anchor a network TV show. Everyone thought I was nuts. My parents' friends told me to get a grip on myself and go to law school until I could figure out what I really wanted to do. Others suggested I should catch the wave that was surely going to wash up on Wall Street. My girlfriends all wanted to go to the big city, get an apartment together, and have a blast. Still other people told me to get out of denial, stop fighting the family tradition, and go into politics. All legitimate goals, but they weren't mine.

I wanted to make a difference in people's lives, but not through the law or business or politics or public service. I wanted to tell the stories of the day in the medium of the day, television—reaching out to the world with ideas, made real in words and pictures.

Now, how had I gotten so passionate about going into television news? I was bitten by the bug back in 1972, when I was still in high school. As the ancient history majors among you may know, that year my father was the Democratic nominee for vice president. I was helping out on his campaign, and I was lucky to get the rare opportunity to travel on the campaign plane. (Note: If you have the inclination or the opportunity to work onan election campaign, grab it. I guarantee you'll learn more about people and politics in this country than almost anywhere else your travels may take you.)

My father's staff stuck me—"candidate's kid, obviously a brat!"—with "THEM" in the back of the plane. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. You see, the back of the plane was where the fun was, because "THEM" was the press, the hardworking, wisecracking guys (and a few women) from the big national media—newspapers, wire services, radio, and TV. Most of them had covered politics for years, watching the passing parade of candidates and campaigns through practiced (some would say jaundiced) eyes. They were constantly observing and commenting, and their endless stream of quips and coverage—even cartoons—put the presidential campaign on a whole new plane for me. Literally.

Remember, I'd lived and breathed politics my entire life—had political discussion and debate served like mashed potatoes with dinner every night since I was a little kid. In a lot of ways, politics and making history was the family business. But that year on the campaign, I experienced firsthand something groundshaking to me: I saw how the newspeople put their fingerprints on history before it became history, taking something that had just happened in front of my eyes and giving it context. What the public saw was not the raw event I was experiencing on the campaign. It was filtered and explained and shaped by the journalists first.

And as we traveled the country, this colorful, wonderful band of smart and funny explainers and shapers was constantly changing. Reporters and crews from local media would jump on board for a while and then drop off—people with regional interests, like agriculture in Wichita or unionism in Detroit, who'd put their own spin on it. And I also got to fraternize with and observe some of the real heavy hitters of political journalism. They'd travel with the campaign for varying lengths of time, and I'd eagerly await their pieces in the New York Times or the Washington Post or the CBS Evening News and scarf them up.

But the difference between regional and national reporters wasn't the only one I noticed. The straight reporters would report what they'd seen and heard—picking and choosing their story elements from what actually happened, but then just showing and describing them and letting readers or viewers come to their own conclusions. In contrast, the name columnists and commentators would get to interpret and analyze, offering their personal takes on what was going on in Campaign '72.

Either way, though, I saw it was the newspeople, not my dad or his press people, who decided what part of a speech, if anything, made it into the papers or on the air. By punching up certain issues or making the candidates the issue or focusing on the horse race, these journalists wielded huge influence. And it seemed to me that television had the most heat. It possessed an immediacy, an ability to capture and transmit the excitement (or the boredom) of the campaign—and the sincerity (or cynicism) of the candidates.

And it dawned on me right there in the back of the plane eating peanuts, that television would be the politics of the future. Television would be the way to touch people, move and excite them, anger and educate them the way politicians used to when they had direct contact with voters one-on-one in the streets. I knew this in my gut, and I wanted in.

Remember, this was the 1972 election, just a heartbeat before the Watergate scandal broke open. Before Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein (let alone Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman) intoxicated a generation with the ideal of crusading journalists exposing the bad guys to the light of the truth. In 1972, the news biz was not an obvious career choice, especially for a young woman.

So I sat in the back of the plane eating too many peanuts (more on that later), thinking, "Yes, this is for me." I, too, would travel the country and even the world, meeting people from every place and every walk of life. I'd hear their stories and then turn around and bear witness, sharing them with the rest of the country. I would be part of this pack of intense and highly competitive professionals. Work would never be boring. Laughter was a big part of it. And hadn't I always said I didn't want a desk job? These guys on the plane didn't even have desks.

Day after day, I asked my traveling companions every question I could think of. Where'd you go to school? What did you study? How did you get all of your experience? How do you handle the competition? What about that punishing deadline every day? Do you dread it or crave it? How many newspapers a day do you read? Five? How do you get scoops? How can you be so breezy, schmoozing politics with the other reporters, when your real goal is to beat the pants off them every night? When do you see your kids? I soaked up the answers, and my own dreams came into focus. By the time Campaign '72 was over, I knew what I wanted to do with my life—but I didn't tell a soul.

I didn't tell anyone because I thought they'd view it as silly, and I didn't want the hassle of trying to convince them otherwise. I knew otherwise, and that was enough. Also, part of it had just a little something to do with my family, which regarded the press in many ways as an adversary across a great divide—prying into our lives, chronicling our every move. Like many young people who are secretive about their dreams, I thought my family would be incredibly disappointed in my choice.

But remember, just because you think you must fulfill others' expectations doesn't mean you have to. And here's something shocking: You actually might be wrong. I was. When I finally told my parents what I wanted to do, they never once warned me not to. They never once told me I couldn't or shouldn't or wouldn't possibly succeed in the news business. They just nodded and said they regretted they couldn't really help me in that business, and they gave me their blessing. They might have thought I was silly or nuts, but they never let me know. They let me grow, and any skepticism they possessed changed into pride. Eventually.

Of course, my father's ticket lost the election in 1972. But not me. I won—a vision I could follow into my future, a passion I could pursue. It colored every decision I made after that—where I lived, where I worked, and who I spent time with. I was determined to learn everything I could about TV news, and I was determined to be good at it.


Trust your gut, no matter what you expect your parents or teachers or anyone else will think of your choice. Lots of people don't know where to start. So try to pinpoint the field, the area, the kinds of people you want to be with. It's your life. Go with your gut.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi
1 First and Foremost: Pinpoint Your Passion 1
2 No Job Is Beneath You 9
3 Who You Work for and with Is As Important As What You Do 23
4 Your Behavior Has Consequences 35
5 Be Willing to Fail 47
6 Superwoman Is Dead ... and Superman May Be Taking Viagra 59
7 Children Do Change Your Career (Not to Mention Your Entire Life) 69
8 Marriage Is a Hell of a Lot of Hard Work 85
9 Don't Expect Anyone Else to Support You Financially 97
10 Laughter 105
Afterword 119

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Average Rating 4.5
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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2012

    Scared

    Everyone says u are suppose to be scaredof something are someone. "Is that really true?"

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 18, 2006

    Wish I'd had this book for graduation

    I read this book a few years after graduating from college and I just wished that someone had shared these insights with me as a young woman about to enter the workforce. Often times women have a cinderella complex about life, in that we want to be rescued or we believe that things will magically fall into place but they don't. Life is hard work, and we all need to learn to stand on our own. This book address that need.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 1, 2005

    Mother of 2 teenage daughters

    I love Maria Shriver so was really excited to get the book and share it with my daughters. Seemed like not alot of effort put into this book, took all of about half hour to read. With todays children they need things that will really penatrate as I'd hoped this book would. I would have liked to see a more in depth book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 3, 2002

    Not just another Kennedy.

    I really enjoyed this audio. It was entertaining as well as educational. It pointed out some of the pitfalls we all face when entering the real world. It also gives insight on being a Kennedy and the disadvantages that come with the name.

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