The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook

( 12 )

Overview

Add layoffs, foreclosures, and skyrocketing health-care costs to the inevitable crises of every life, and you have today's landscape. Amid these challenges, even those who thought they had solid coping skills feel that their center cannot hold as things fall apart. In her first book in many years, bestselling author Daphne Rose Kingma takes us on a path of emotional and spiritual healing, with particular attention to the complex and frequently over-whelming circumstances of our lives right now. The perfect ...

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The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook

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Overview

Add layoffs, foreclosures, and skyrocketing health-care costs to the inevitable crises of every life, and you have today's landscape. Amid these challenges, even those who thought they had solid coping skills feel that their center cannot hold as things fall apart. In her first book in many years, bestselling author Daphne Rose Kingma takes us on a path of emotional and spiritual healing, with particular attention to the complex and frequently over-whelming circumstances of our lives right now. The perfect combination of empathic friend, sage counselor, savvy problem solver, and even gallows humorist, Kingma looks straight into the predicaments so many of us face. She then offers ten deceptively simple yet profoundly effective strategies for coping on practical, emotional, and spiritual levels.

The devastating events cannot be changed, but after reading this book, you will be, having recovered a sense of equanimity, spirit, and strength. Whether you're struggling with money issues, job loss, relationship problems, an unexpected health crisis, or all of the above, this book will light your path and heal your heart.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Though we know that bad things happen to good people, we often don't realize how little good typical coping mechanisms-drinking, eating, smoking or sleeping-do to help our problems. Speaker and author Kingma (Coming Apart) calls these "default" or "compensating" behaviors, which people turn to out of habit. Kingma's alternative involves confronting those behaviors and learning to understand our personal "Life Themes," the "psychological riddle" each person struggles to solve in this life, in order to heal from trauma. A warm, empathetic and practical guide, Kingma delineates ten steps, from "Cry Your Heart Out" and "Do Something Different" to "Go Where the Love Is" and "Live in the Light of the Spirit," that ease readers into the hard work of taking action following a loss. Kingma makes a convincing case for the notion that every setback provides an opportunity, and that overcoming any crisis will require leaving our comfort zone and reassessing our attitudes and emotional responses: "when circumstances bring us to our knees, we're finally willing to tiptoe into the exploration of who we really are and what our lives might really be about."
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From the Publisher

“Anyone going through a dark night of the soul needs to have this book. It will be your closest companion and your most tender angel. Daphne Rose Kingma more than speaks to your soul; she knows how to heal it.”
Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love

“What if, during the worst times you can imagine, you felt a warm and steady hand on your back guiding you forward? What if it helped you remember to turn toward what can be possible instead of against yourself or away from what you are afraid of? This book is that hand. Put it by your bedside and you’ll sleep better. Read it and you’ll live better.”
Dawna Markova, PhD, cocreator of Random Acts of Kindness

Publishers Weekly
Known primarily for books on relationships (Coming Apart), Kingma’s latest is a lifeline for those in the isolating depths of personal tragedy. Its purpose is to hold, to heal, and to listen, and it comes from a very real place: a friend of the author’s in the midst of physical and financial hardships asked for a list of 10 practices to survive his crisis. With chapters dedicated to the necessity of tears, the freedom of letting go, and the fulfillment found in simple living, these techniques are all about practicality. Realistic indeed, yet underlying the straightforward advice is an enlivening spiritual message that isn’t content with just soldiering on through the darkness. “Rather than being random assaults from an uncaring universe, the difficulties you are going through have meaning and purpose,” the author writes. Kingma relates her worldly and spiritual survival tools in graceful prose and includes illustrative, though somewhat broad, real-life stories of people who rise above catastrophe. This work is about more than just getting by; it directs the reader toward transcendence and peace. (Apr.)
Library Journal
Kingma (Real Life, Real Love) writes for readers whose lives are being wrenched apart by sudden job loss, the death of a loved one, financial ruin, or a dire medical diagnosis. When any of these things happens, either separately or simultaneously, Kingma offers a list of ten ways whereby readers can eventually learn that their difficulties have meaning and purpose. A particularly helpful lesson urges letting go of coping strategies that no longer work. For those lost in the turbulence of life, Kingma offers a genuine hand through.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781577316985
  • Publisher: New World Library
  • Publication date: 4/6/2010
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 170,947
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author


Daphne Rose Kingma’s bestsellers include Coming Apart, The Men We Never Knew, and The Future of Love. She and her work have appeared in most major media outlets, and she presents seminars and workshops around the world. She lives in Santa Barbara, California.
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Table of Contents

Introduction: When Life Falls Apart xi

Chapter 1 Cry Your Heart Out 3

Chapter 2 Face Your Defaults 19

Chapter 3 Do Something Different 47

Chapter 4 Let Go 69

Chapter 5 Remember Who You've Always Been 87

Chapter 6 Persist 105

Chapter 7 Integrate Your Loss 121

Chapter 8 Live Simply 145

Chapter 9 Go Where the Love Is 167

Chapter 10 Live in the Light of the Spirit 191

Peace Be with You 210

Acknowledgments 211

About the Author 213

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 12 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 12 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 18, 2011

    A must read!

    This book needs to be read by everyone. We all have times in our lives when things are coming apart at the seams. Kingma gives us the tools to move though the rough times and come out healthier and stronger. Thank you Daphne Rose Kingma for saving our sanity.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 17, 2010

    The best book that I have ever read!!!!

    This is the most inspirational book that I have ever read. If you are going through a crisis, this is a must read!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2010

    Grabs the concept and drives it home

    While the title is indicative of an easy going and very spiritual look at how to deal with the collapse of the important things in life, the author really delivers a wake up call for those of use that may have lost sight of what is really important.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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