Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

by Daniel M. Lavery

Overview

Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O'Hara to Jessica Wakefield

Daniel M. Lavery, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781627791830
Publisher:	Holt, Henry & Company, Inc.
Publication date:	11/04/2014
Edition description:	First Edition
Pages:	240
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Daniel M. Lavery is the author of Something That May Shock and Discredit You and the current Dear Prudence at Slate.

Table of Contents

Part I

Medea 3

Gilgamesh 6

Achilles 8

Dido 11

Plato 12

Circe 14

Medea, Part II 17

King Midas 19

The Wife of Bath 20

William Blake 21

King Lear 25

John Donne 30

Hamlet 32

Don Quixote 34

Hamlet, Part II 36

René Descartes 37

William Wordsworth 39

Hamlet, Part III 41

Samuel Taylor Coleridge 43

Hamlet, Part IV 45

Part II

Jane Eyre 49

Sherlock Holmes 52

Emily Dickinson 55

Oliver Twist 60

Lord Byron 62

John Keats 66

Emma 69

Pride and Prejudice 72

Moby-Dick 78

Great Expectations 85

Gone with the Wind 89

Edgar Allan Poe 94

Treasure Island 101

Gone with the Wind, Part II 105

Part III

"The Yellow Wallpaper" 109

Wuthering Heights 114

Little Women 120

Hamlet, Part V 129

Henry David Thoreau 130

Daisy Miller 134

The Island of Dr. Moreau 136

Daisy Miller, Part II 137

Les Misérables 139

A Tale of Two Cities 145

Rudyard Kipling 146

Daisy Miller, Part III 147

Daisy Miller, Part IV 148

The Sun Also Rises 149

Agatha Christie 152

The Great Gatsby 153

Daisy Miller, Part V 155

J. Alfred Prufrock 156

Virginia Woolf 161

William Faulkner 162

Daisy Miller, Part VI 165

Peter Pan 167

The Great Gatsby, Part II 171

Part IV

Sweet Valley High 175

The Outsiders 179

The American Girl Series 183

The Baby-Sitters Club 188

Nancy Drew 192

Atlas Shrugged 196

Fight Club 200

The Lorax 205

Rebecca 209

Cormac McCarthy 213

The Hunger Games 216

William Carlos Williams 219

Harry Potter 222

The Little Prince 225

Editorial Reviews

In Texts from Jane Eyre [Daniel M. Lavery] hilariously proves that he understands fictional characters better than they understand themselves. He makes me laugh like no one else.” —Rainbow Rowell, bestselling author of Eleanor & Park and Fangirl

“Dear [Daniel M. Lavery]'s Publisher: Please send me 27 cases of Texts from Jane Eyre, because I ate it like it was candy coated in crack cocaine, it's the best, and I need to give it to everyone.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things

“Witty and literate. Smart-ass humor with an emphasis on smart. I'm not sure who I'm more jealous of: [Daniel M. Lavery] for his comic brilliance, or whoever got to sit next to him in high school English.” —Adam Bertocci, author of Two Gentlemen of Lebowski

“[Daniel M. Lavery] is actually, literally the funniest person on the internet. It turns out he has also read everything. This is the smartest, most highbrow, most sophisticated literary book that will ever make you pee yourself in public.” —Rachel Fershleiser, co-editor of Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure

“[A] splendid and wry work of humor writing...Texts from Jane Eyre is to literary culture what The Daily Show is to politics: both use satire to expose the contradictions and absurdity enabling powerful figures.” —Los Angeles Review of Books

“What if the greatest characters in literary history all carried around smartphones and typed out messages to each other?...[A] highbrow yet subversive sensibility” —NPR Morning Edition

“These informal, off the cuff missives are true to each character's voice, as [Lavery] understands them deeply—and the result is hilarious...Don't resist. Just give in to this crazy, wonderful book.” —Bustle.com

“Humorist [Lavery] offers a side-splitting take on famous literary characters from Gilgamesh to Hermione Granger by peeking into their imagined text messages...[Lavery] charmingly captures, in short, palatable bytes, what is most memorable about famous books and their indelible characters.” —Publishers Weekly

“[Lavery] finds a way of lampooning the ridiculous characters of the past (both fictional and non fiction) thanks to his endless knowledge of and passion for western literature and history and his sharp humor.” —BUST Magazine

“[Texts from Jane Eyre] is a treasure trove of weird literary jokes which, to be honest, are our favorite kind.” —Brooklyn Magazine

“Each [text conversation] brings a contemporary sensibility to timeless publications of yore. Be prepared to LOL—literally.” —Los Angeles Magazine

“Anyone who is really into the classics and also has a sense of humor will appreciate [Texts from Jane Eyre]. It will make a great holiday present.” —BookRiot's "In the Mailbag"

“[T]his book is a literary aficionado's dream!...This compendium of witty and absolutely charming text messages from and to characters that we all know...had me laughing out loud and rereading over and over again.” —Thereviewbroads.com

“[A] super-funny book that envisions what text conversations would be like with your favorite literary legends...I recommend you pick up Texts from Jane Eyre for any book lover with a sense of humor (and maybe a cell phone.)” —Zulkey.com

“Just in time to complete your Christmas shopping...Read it and send your AP English teacher a thank-you note. ” —Jezebel.com

“This makes me laugh...Cliff's Notes seem so wordy now, don't they?” —Houston Chronicle

From the Publisher