That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister

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Overview
Editorial Reviews
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Product Details
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Overview

"Dougan gets very personal ... exposing the nerve and dedication necessary to foster independence in a sibling with special needs ... A touching, surprisingly funny tough-love narrative."
—Kirkus Reviews

"Terrell Dougan writes with humor, humanity, and complete honesty. In this tale of two sisters—one who never gives up her dolls, one who never loses her pluck—she takes readers on a thought-provoking, endearing journey through life. Along the way, she shows readers the changing social attitudes of the last half-century, and her personal odyssey from resistance to acceptance."
—Rachel Simon, author of Riding the Bus with My Sister

"With heartache and humor, tenderness and honesty, Dougan inspires us to remember the kindness, joy, and grace that forever remain life's possibility."
—Andrew Bridge, author of Hope's Boy

"Enormously touching, funny, wise, breathtakingly honest, and compellingly readable."
—Judith Viorst, author of Forever Fifty

"Funny, and wonderful, and horrible, and happy and sad."
—Muffy Mead-Ferro, author of Confessions of a Slacker Mom

"Irene is a very special lady who makes others feel better about lots of things."
—Kim Peek, the original model for Rain Man

Meet Terrell Dougan's sister, Irene: a woman in her sixties who still believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny—but who also enjoys playing those characters for the children at the local hospital; whose favorite outfit, which she'll sneak into whenever Terrell's back is turned, consists of Mickey Mouse kneesocks and shorts; who wins over the neighborhood kids by hosting two fire trucks at her lemonade stand; whose fridge bears a magnet: NORMAL PEOPLE WORRY ME.

When Irene was born, her parents were advised to institutionalize her. They refused and instead became trailblazers in advocating for the rights of people with mental disabilities. The entire family benefited, with a life rich in stress, sorrows, hilarity, joy, and overwhelming kindness from strangers. Terrell has found that the only way to get through the difficult moments is to laugh—even in the most trying of times. In her moving, funny, and unforgettable memoir about life with Irene, Terrell Dougan shows that love, humor, and compassion are enough to heal us, every single day.

What People Are Saying

Andrew Bridge

With heartache and humor, tenderness and honesty, Dougan inspires us to remember the kindness, joy, and grace that forever remain life's possibility. (Andrew Bridge, author of Hope's Boy )

Judith Viorst

Enormously touching, funny, wise, breathtakingly honest, and compellingly readable. (Judith Viorst, author of Forever Fifty )

Muffy Mead-Ferro

Funny, and wonderful, and horrible, and happy and sad. (Muffy Mead-Ferro, author of Confessions of a Slacker Mom)

Rachel Simon

Terrell Dougan writes with humor, humanity, and complete honesty. In this tale of two sisters—one who never gives up her dolls, one who never loses her pluck—she takes readers on a thought-provoking, endearing journey through life. Along the way, she shows readers the changing social attitudes of the last half-century, and her personal odyssey from resistance to acceptance. (Rachel Simon, author of Riding the Bus with My Sister)

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

In this compassionate memoir, Dougan, humor columnist for 13 years penning "Of All Things" for the Deseret News in Utah, writes for the first time about her mentally disabled sister, Irene. After Irene was born in 1946, their parents decided that she would not be institutionalized; with no Salt Lake City support group available, the girls' father, who ran an ad agency, teamed with other parents to launch a local day care center in 1952. Dougan made that a family tradition, opening a workshop for teens and adults with mental disabilities in 1968 and serving eight years as president of the Utah Association for Retarded Citizens. To tell Irene's story, she begins with a traumatizing childhood event; when she was 12 and Irene was six, they witnessed Irene's babysitter die from a massive brain hemorrhage. The lives of the sisters intertwined: Terrell became obsessed with swimming and ice skating; Irene learned to swim and ice skate, but not to read and write. Terrell studied at Stanford and later got married and had children; Irene was sent away at age 20 to a residential school in the hope she would learn "some independence." Influenced by Benchley and Thurber, Terrell is a skilled humorist with amusing anecdotes about Irene, such as her behavior during the family's Venice vacation. Writing with honesty, she is equally impressive in relating the haunting memories of sadness and despair surrounding Irene's darker days. (Jan.)

Library Journal

Ostensibly, this book would focus on how the author fared growing up with a mentally retarded sister in mid-20th-century America, a time when institutionalization was the norm. Yet first-time writer Dougan makes only erratic references to Irene, who instead was kept in the care of her loving family in Salt Lake City. While Dougan's life is interesting, she hits her stride only with a combination of anecdotes about her sister and what it was like to mature and care for her in adulthood. Still, siblings of the developmentally disabled will appreciate the enormous challenges and rewards Dougan communicates. [Hyperion has made this its winter 2009 Publisher's Pick, so expect media coverage.]
—LM

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Kirkus Reviews

Memoir of the author's enduring devotion for her special-needs sister oscillates from heartbreaking to uplifting with the flip of a page. Born during a relentless Utah electrical storm in 1946, Irene would spend hours in her crib, silently staring at her hands, and didn't take a step until she was almost two years old. She was more than simply "slow," but the devoutly Mormon Harris family wallowed in denial about their impaired, cross-eyed daughter until her first day in kindergarten, when a teacher immediately said she needed to be tested. Irene was classified as "mentally disabled," with an IQ of 57, but her parents refused to place her in the grim state institution. They kept Irene at home, where her violent tantrums and confusion became commonplace. Six years older than her sister, the author responded with "protective anger" whenever anyone asked what was wrong with Irene. Her teenaged years were tricky, as she attempted to date boys and corral her sister's erratic behavior. Caring for Irene became increasingly cumbersome as her mother's arthritis worsened and doting grandma "Bammy" aged, so at age 20 she was placed in a special California school, where she spent six years before being expelled for violent behavior. The author, by then married with two young daughters, began writing a column in the local newspaper and became an advocate for the integration of special-needs children into public schools. She tirelessly shouldered the responsibility for both Irene and her severely disabled mother, spending years teaching her sister everything from how to manage her diabetes and high blood pressure to finding employment. Dougan gets very personal in the final sections, exposing the nerveand dedication necessary to foster independence in a sibling with special needs. A touching, surprisingly funny tough-love narrative.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781401323295
Publisher: Hyperion
Publication date: 1/6/2009
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 673,600
Product dimensions: 8.50 (w) x 5.82 (h) x 0.67 (d)

Meet the Author

Terrell Harris Dougan wrote a column for the Deseret News for thirteen years, for which she won the award for Best Humor Column from the National Federation of Press Women. She served as president of the Utah Association for Retarded Citizens for eight years, and on the board of the National Association for Retarded Citizens for two terms. She also took part in the beginnings of the Sundance Film Festival. Dougan lives with her husband in Salt Lake City, Utah.

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