The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide: Making It Work in Friendship, Love, and Sex

by Cody Daigle-Orians

Overview

'A must read relationship guide' - School Library Journal
'One of the books I'd deliver to my younger self' - Jeffrey Marsh

Should I be upfront with someone I'm interested in that I'm ace or aro?
How do I get people to respect my boundaries around intimacy?
What if I don't want intimacy at all?
Is it selfish to pursue a relationship if I don't want romance?

These questions are not only a source of deep anxiety and frustration for ace and aro people - but limit the heights that ace and aro folks believe they can reach for in their lives. These questions make us believe that we should settle for less, when in fact we all deserve more.

Whether we're talking about friendships, romantic relationships, casual dates or casual intimate partners, this guide will help you not only live authentically in your ace and aro identity, but joyfully share it with others.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781839977350
Publisher:	Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Publication date:	10/21/2024
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	224
File size:	562 KB
Age Range:	12 - 18 Years

About the Author

Cody Daigle-Orians (they/them) is a writer and asexuality educator living in Columbus, Ohio. They are the creator of Ace Dad Advice, a social media-based asexuality education project designed to support people exploring asexuality. They are the author of I Am Ace, and a contributor to the 2024 Lambda Literary Award nominated anthology Being Ace. They were nominated for a 2023 British LGBTQ Award for Online Influencer and were named a 2024 Lambda Literary Fellow. They are queer, ace, and agender.

Editorial Reviews

Buy this book! If I had a time machine, this would be one of the books I'd deliver to my younger self. Cody Daigle-Orians has crafted an invaluable resource for navigating the pitfalls of normative relationships and intimacy.

Jeffrey Marsh bestselling

This groundbreaking guide is a must-read for anyone looking to redefine their understanding of relationships, love, and intimacy. Beyond its primary focus on aromantic and asexual individuals, the book offers a revolutionary perspective on what constitutes a fulfilling connection.

NetGalley Reviewer

The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide is a comprehensive beginning for asexual and aromantic seekers to develop better relationships. Regardless of whether you're troubleshooting a current relationship or you're just beginning your aspec journey and don't know how to approach relationships, this guide will examine and deconstruct harmful norms, teach you to value and defend your boundaries and needs, and open your mind to the incredible variety of relationship options that are very much available to people like us. An excellent starting point for how to think about partnership from an ace/aro perspective

Julie Sondra Decker

By drilling into to the basics of what actually makes up a healthy relationship, this radically inclusive and practical guide dives headfirst into the questions we are so often afraid to ask: can I be ace and find love without compromising myself? Can I build a relationship that suits me? Am I deserving of happiness? With love and affirmation, Cody guides the reader to an answer: a resounding, unapologetic YES!

Eris Young

2024-08-03
Decentralizing romance and sex, this guide explores skills and pathways for building healthy, fulfilling, identity-affirming relationships.

Daigle-Orians explains that Western society prioritizes one type of relationship—an exclusive partnership between two cisgender, heterosexual people that’s based in romantic and sexual attraction and leads to marriage and procreation. They challenge the myth of this “perfect relationship,” exposing its pervasive and harmful impact on asexual and aromantic people. The first half of the work presents 10 tools for building a “New Kind of Perfect” relationship—autonomy, consent, boundaries, communication, commitment, compromise, trust, respect, recognition, and care. After discussing each tool, the second half examines them in action in “relationship beginnings, platonic connections, sex, romance, nontraditional forms of relationships, and relationship endings.” Within each chapter, the author encourages readers to engage with and practice the tools; breakout sections include prompts for self-reflection and action. The prose flows in an engaging, conversational style that helps to break down the complex concepts. When read from cover to cover, the text at times verges on repetitive, but for those using the guide as a reference tool, the repetition supports the treatment of chapters as self-contained essays. Although Daigle-Orians aims to speak to and support a targeted audience, the tools they share have universal value. This is a worthwhile text that centers readers who are often left out of relationship guides.

An empowering and important tool. (resources)(Nonfiction. 13-adult)

Kirkus Reviews