The Alto Wore Tweed [NOOK Book]

Overview

Hayden Konig is the police chief in the small Appalachian town of St. Germaine, North Carolina. His part-time job, however, is serving as the choir director and organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, but he’s also determined to write the next great hard-boiled mystery novel a la Raymond Chandler — a liturgical mystery novel with no real plot, but enough bad prose to make the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest look like the Oxford University ...
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The Alto Wore Tweed

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Overview

Hayden Konig is the police chief in the small Appalachian town of St. Germaine, North Carolina. His part-time job, however, is serving as the choir director and organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, but he’s also determined to write the next great hard-boiled mystery novel a la Raymond Chandler — a liturgical mystery novel with no real plot, but enough bad prose to make the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest look like the Oxford University Press spring catalog.

typewriterChief Konig is also lucky enough to be independently wealthy, which is why he decides that his lack of talent in the writing department can easily be remedied, or at least greatly enhanced, by the purchase of Raymond Chandler’s 1939 Underwood typewriter. He is sadly mistaken, but the results are uproarious! Even as Hayden works on his opus, he must deal with other, more pressing, problems — a new priest at St. Barnabas, a Christmas feud between the Rotarians and the Kiwanians and, more importantly, a dead body in the choir loft. It’s a good thing that Hayden keeps a loaded Glock under the organ bench!

As Christmas approaches, the tension (and hilarity) rises to a fever pitch. St. Barnabas is introduced to “The Penguin of Bethlehem” and the town’s Nativity feud turns ugly when the Kiwanian’s bagpiper spooks the Rotarian’s camel. A 12 year old wine snob, hedgehogs, Benny (the world-champion thurifer), church antics, and an episode that is just too good to give away, fill out this mystery that will leave you laughing with every page turn.
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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940013825666
  • Publisher: SJMPbooks
  • Publication date: 12/7/2011
  • Series: The Liturgical Mysteries, #1
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 97,980
  • File size: 688 KB

Meet the Author

In 1974, Mark Schweizer, a brand-new high-school graduate decided to eschew the family architectural business and become an opera singer. Against all prevailing wisdom and despite jokes from his peers such as "What does the music major say after his first job interview?" (answer: You want fries with that?), he enrolled in the Music School at Stetson University. To his father, the rationale was obvious. No math requirement.

Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?

In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 7 )
Rating Distribution

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(5)

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(2)

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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 11, 2013

    I have adored these books so far! Have actually had to stop and

    I have adored these books so far! Have actually had to stop and catch my breath after laughing so hard- the characters 
    are well depicted for a small town of which any one of them could be a neighbor or family or both! Please keep them coming!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 23, 2013

    Loved this book!!!!

    This book, along with the whole series, is laugh-out-loud, makes your face hurt, eyes all crinkled up hilarious !!!!! Some knowledge of the
    Episcopal church, plus a familiarity with the Raymond Chandler genre is helpful, but don't miss these even if you don't know anything about either one of them. I love these characters and would move to St Germaine if it was a real place!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2012

    Hilarious

    Laugh out loud ridiculous. If you've ever been in a church choir or have a passing acquantance with music and church politics you'll love this series. The intentionally bad Chandleresque detective stories are funny and may cause actual pain due to laughter.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 8, 2012

    Quick Read

    You don't have to be Episcopal to enjoy this ...easy read that was entertaining. Waiting to start the #2 book in the series.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 20, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 23, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 11, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews

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