The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Achieving Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships

Overview

Discover the differences between healthy and harmful anger with John Lee’s life-changing program. Therapist Lee’s proven method will help anyone immediately tap into the causes of their own anger, allowing them to get a handle on the emotions that cause stress and pain. Without guilt, shame, embarrassment, resentment, or hopelessness, The Anger Solution offers groundbreaking information on controlling rage. Featuring the Detour Method—a practical, easy process that can save relationships, create deeper ...

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The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Achieving Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships

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Overview

Discover the differences between healthy and harmful anger with John Lee’s life-changing program. Therapist Lee’s proven method will help anyone immediately tap into the causes of their own anger, allowing them to get a handle on the emotions that cause stress and pain. Without guilt, shame, embarrassment, resentment, or hopelessness, The Anger Solution offers groundbreaking information on controlling rage. Featuring the Detour Method—a practical, easy process that can save relationships, create deeper connections, and dissipate rage—The Anger Solution promises to be the next classic in anger management.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
Library Journal
“Lee sets forth a syllabus for improving relationships through a step-by-step program to deal with long-buried anger and rage. Reading this book would be a pragmatic first step for someone seeking to manage his or her anger and forge deeper connections with others.”
Library Journal
In his 15th book, Lee (The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man) sets forth a syllabus for improving relationships through a step-by-step program to deal with long-buried anger and rage. By differentiating between the two, readers can identify troublesome and defining events from their own histories that unseated their well-being. Perhaps the most insightful portion of the book is Lee's chapter on passivity, which he describes as one of the most toxic and overlooked traits often found in unhealthy relationships. Reading this book would be a pragmatic first step for someone seeking to manage his or her anger and forge deeper connections with others. Although it appeals to men and women, men may particularly find Lee's exploration of cultural implications of masculinity valuable.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780738212609
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press
  • Publication date: 8/11/2009
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 514,499
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

John Lee is a best-selling author of fifteen books, including The Flying Boy and Facing the Fire. Over the course of his career, Lee has sold more than 500,000 copies of his books, and has been featured on Oprah numerous times. He’s also been on 20/20, The View, CNN, PBS, and NPR. He has been interviewed by Newsweek, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and dozens of other national magazines and radio talk shows. Lee lives in Mentone, Alabama.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Anger: The Real Story 9

Why Everyone Tries to Avoid Anger 12

Chapter 2 Rage: The Real Culprit 15

How to Tell the Difference between Anger and Rage 17

Soft Rage 24

The Five Things People Do When They Think They Are Expressing Healthy Discontent 25

Four Styles of Rage 33

Enraged or Outraged? 35

Chapter 3 Emotional Regression: The Secret Behind Anger and Rage 39

The Brain and Regression 44

Emotional Regression: A "Present-Person/People Eraser" 46

Three Directions of Relationships and Regression 50

Other Potential Regressors 50

Preconditions for Regression 56

Signs of Regression 60

Chapter 4 Passivity: The Hidden Producer of Rage 85

Two Types of Adult Passivity 90

Three Types of Passivity in Children 91

How to Identify Passivity in Yourself 92

Signs of Problems with Passivity 94

Passivity and Rage 97

Fear of the Word Passivity 98

Living Vicariously 101

Solution and Cures for Passivity 102

Chapter 5 The Detour Method: The Only Tool You Need 107

How TDM Identifies and Works with the Causes of Regression 110

The Six Questions in TDM Process 112

The Detour Method and Boundaries, Limits, Anger, and Rage 125

Why TDM Will Work for You 143

What Happens When the Detour Is Not Taken 146

Chapter 6 Doing What It Takes to Come Out of Anger, Rage, and Regression 151

Five Keys to Bring You Back to the Present Moment 151

Anger Work You Can Do at Home or in the Office 164

Emotional Release and Discharge 169

Other Ways to Discharge and Release 172

Chapter 7 Dropping the Anger and Rage and Becoming Compassionately Assertive 173

"I" Statements 180

The Compassionate Assertive Constitution186

Completing the Four Compassionate Assertive Statements 188

The 5+5+5 Exercise for Increasing Clarity and Compassionate Assertiveness 193

Chapter 8 Anger and Emotional Intelligence 197

Final Thoughts 201

How to Contact the Author 205

Acknowledgments 207

Further Suggested Reading 209

Index 211

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