The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole

( 2 )

Overview

Recipe for the apocalypse:

* Four parts Horsemen of the Apocalypse
* Three drops of bathtub LSD
* A handful of sexual perverts
* Garnish with a bunch of really hot pissed-off militant lesbians
* Add a splash of savior approved Red Bull Shake or stir, just don't upset junk-monkey Phil in the process.

Serve to the demons that are currently invading the Earth. You think you know how the world ends? You don't know shit!

...
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Overview

Recipe for the apocalypse:

* Four parts Horsemen of the Apocalypse
* Three drops of bathtub LSD
* A handful of sexual perverts
* Garnish with a bunch of really hot pissed-off militant lesbians
* Add a splash of savior approved Red Bull Shake or stir, just don't upset junk-monkey Phil in the process.

Serve to the demons that are currently invading the Earth. You think you know how the world ends? You don't know shit!

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781484130254
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
  • Publication date: 4/16/2013
  • Pages: 268
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.61 (d)

Meet the Author

After completing The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole, the authors, Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon, fled the country. They were last seen in Brazil sipping Singapore Slings with Mescal on the side at the Cross-Eyed Donkey bar.

The men are wanted in connection with a string of bowling bowl thefts, zombie resurrections, and miniature bulldog jello wrestling. If seen, the men are considered wacked and hyper.

Caution is advised unless you have a fresh supply of nitrous oxide to share. Clergy leaders have sworn that the two men will be brought to justice for crimes against the Church and literature in general.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 2 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 19, 2010

    Absurdo at it's best.

    Dip yourself in whatever numbing agent is your preference, strap yourself in tightly, put on some welding goggles, and then perhaps you might be able to absorb this little slice of delightful insanity, brought to you by two authors who apparently have a strong fetish with glory holes, demons with, shall we say, impressive dangly bits, some very odd and phallically shaped bugs, feces, LSD, the "F" word, and anything else you can think of that might disrupt the sensitive minds of virtually everyone on the planet.

    The apocalypse is here, and everything is screwed up. God the father has decided to take a hike to another universe and start all over, while the angels and demons are waiting to get the party started. Jesus is tired of being taken advantage of, the four horsemen of the apocalypse are mostly all around incompetents, the Antichrist is a no show, and Satan...well, Satan is rising out the desert, ass first. And none of them hold a candle to the main characters in this truly freaked out story.

    We have an assortment of people who are all trying to sort things out during the apocalypse, whether they are trying to prevent it or get the party started, including a General who strives to find new and fun ways to curse like a madman, a Sheriff and one of his deputies who just came from the orgy to end all orgies and are dressed appropriately in a g-string and ball gag, a man who can best be described a narcissistic, delusional, drug addled blogger who has a one armed, heroin addicted ape for a pet named Phil, an employee of a sex shop whose beverages have been spiked with so much LSD that he can only speak in what can be described as porno-linguistics, and a militant lesbian who seems to be the most sane person amongst them. Oh, and we can't forget Goatboy...the half man, half goat who speaks with a British accent and can't stop telling dirty jokes.

    This book is a riot of psychotropic incidents and disturbing imagery...and yes, plenty of glory holes. For me, the most visually intriguing scene had to be the battle between the angels of heaven and the half man/half demon that occurs in the sex shop. It was also one of those rare moments when I am reading where I virtually laughed my butt off. I couldn't help myself. But to say that this particular scene came even close to being the most outrageous, the most jaw-droppingly absurd in the book would be stretching it quite a bit.

    Do not read this book if you do not a) have a strong stomach b) a mind willing to be twisted into little pretzel shapes, then allowing the salt on said pretzel shapes to be licked off by goats and various farm animals with questionable morals, and c) don't have a great fascination with feces and the sexual practices of demons. You have been warned. Everyone else, come on board for a strangely compelling mind-F of the highest magnitude.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 29, 2010

    Apocalypse With a Hit of Acid

    The Apocalypse is upon us folks, but much like the war on drugs, nothing is going as planned. The four horsemen are arguing, God's buggered off, the son of Satan has been deep-sixed, Jesus is waylaid by a casino and humanity seems to think the whole affair is some government conspiracy or television taping, as apposed to the actual-real-going-to-end-the-world-Apocalypse. What's a devil to do? Oh, how about mooning the entire world from the Nevada Desert while unleashing all the demons of hell to wreak havoc on an unprotected world. Yeah! That sound like a plan!
    But never fear, human race, Mr. Long and Mr. Moon got your back, Jack. (Unless your name is actually Jack, in which case they would like to state that your back is your own property and they have no intention of 'getting' it for your without your expressed permission.)
    Just when you think the Devil's gonna go unchallenged, in waltz the strangest cast of characters to see this side of your brain, barring the chance that you might find yourself tripping on an eight-ball of coke or visiting your local funny farm.
    A drug addled porn store shop keep. A set of militant lesbians. A childhood toy come alive. A heroin addicted one armed monkey. A man so angry with the world he chooses to keep company with said monkey rather than make real friends. Zombie hoards. Undead police men. Angels without a clue. Demons without rules. Sex toys without limits. Humans without recourse. Holes without glory.
    And amidst all of this crawls a million bugs that bear a striking resemblance to a certain part of the male anatomy.
    To say that TAASGH is a good read is like saying Salvador Dali painted a few funny pictures. To say that it is a great read is like saying Tom Waits sure can cut a fine jig. To say that it is an excellent read is like saying the moon is just a bit of rock floating in space.
    (Do you get my meaning here? For the slower among you all of these examples are understatments.)
    It's so much more than a good read, or a great read, or an excellent read! This is one over the top, hilarious, disturbing, poop filled, vomit inducing, blood letting, sweat pouring, heart racing, psychologically damaging book.
    Oh and you will probably go to hell if you giggle while reading it.
    Really, I think that's in the fine print.
    Sexcellent work, guys! My hat would be off to you, if I had one.
    As for the rest of you slags, buy it! Read it! Love it!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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