The Best Yes Study Guide


Do you find yourself spending a lot of time figuring out when to say yes and when to say no, thinking about how to manage your time, reduce stress, do your best for your family, find a little time for yourself? Lysa TerKeurst found herself in that same situation until she learned the power of “the best yes”, the choice that shapes all of our other choices. In this six-session study, Lysa uses her signature mix of transparency, Scripture-laced insight, and "been there" humor to ...

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Do you find yourself spending a lot of time figuring out when to say yes and when to say no, thinking about how to manage your time, reduce stress, do your best for your family, find a little time for yourself? Lysa TerKeurst found herself in that same situation until she learned the power of “the best yes”, the choice that shapes all of our other choices. In this six-session study, Lysa uses her signature mix of transparency, Scripture-laced insight, and "been there" humor to suggest usable strategies for making wise decisions day by day.

Inthis six-session study Lysa will help you and your group:

  • Cure the disease to please with a biblical understanding of the command to love.
  • Escape the guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no.
  • Overcome the agony of hard choices by embracing a wisdom based decision-making process.
  • Rise above the rush of endless demands and discover your best yes today.

Designed for use withThe Best Yes DVD.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781400205967
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 8/12/2014
  • Edition description: Study Guide
  • Pages: 144
  • Sales rank: 21,440
  • Product dimensions: 7.30 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Lysa TerKeurst is the New York Times bestselling author of Made to Crave and Unglued. She isn't shy about admitting what a mess she can be. But she's been learning God's lessons and sharing them on her blog ( and in her books. Lysa is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and writes from her sticky farm table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband, Art, five kids, three dogs, and mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.
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Read an Excerpt

The Best Yes

Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands


Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2014 Lysa TerKeurst
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4002-0597-4


Set Your Heart to Wisdom

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Psalm 111:10 NIV

Recommended reading prior to the meeting:

The Best Yes book, chapters 1–3


Welcome to Session 1 of The Best Yes. If this is your first time together as a group, take a moment to introduce yourselves to each other before watching the video. Then let's get started!


Use this discussion if time permits or if your group meets for two hours.

* * *

The Best Yes study is about how to use two powerful words—yes and no—to make wise decisions. But yes and no are also great words you can use to get to know each other better. Go around the group and respond to as many of the following questions as you have time for. See how much you can find out about each other simply by answering yes or no.

• Do you like spicy food?

• Have you ever Googled yourself?

• Did you laugh out loud today?

• Have you ever broken a bone?

• Do you like your signature?

• Have you ever cried to avoid getting a speeding ticket?

• Have you ever had your name in a newspaper or other publication?

• Do you still have your tonsils?

• Have you ever secretly skipped pages when reading a bedtime story?

• Can you say the alphabet backward?

• Have you ever fallen asleep at work?

• Do you cry at weddings?

• Did yesterday turn out like you thought it would?

• Do you like to spend time by yourself?

VIDEO: Set Your Heart to Wisdom (15 minutes)

Play the video segment for Session 1. As you watch, use the outline provided to follow along or to take additional notes on anything that stands out to you.


A heart must have godly wisdom or it will follow the pattern of foolishness.

[Your Notes]

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Psalm 111:10 NIV).

[Your Notes]

Head knowledge of the fear of the Lord:

* Fear: There are two Hebrew words for "fear" in the Bible. One is pachad (pakh'-ad), which means terror. That's not the word used in this verse. The word used is yir'ah (yir-aw'), which means a reverence for God.

"The expression describes that reverential attitude or holy fear which man, when his heart is set aright, observes toward God" (Matthew Henry Commentary). To observe toward God is to look for the hand of God in everything.

When we have a reverential attitude and look for the hand of God in everything, we start seeing things from the perspective of wisdom. This becomes our focus.

[Your Notes]

* Lord: I need to anchor my heart to the Lord so I can set my heart to the wisdom of God.

Jesus is "the power of God and the wisdom of God" (1 Corinthians 1:24 NIV).

In Christ "are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossians 2:3 NIV).

[Your Notes]

* Once Jesus is the Lord of our heart and the focus of our heart, we have unlocked the door to obtaining God's wisdom.

[Your Notes]

Heart knowledge of the fear of the Lord:

"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding—indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:1–6 NIV).

[Your Notes]

* Accept my words. Get into God's Word.

[Your Notes]

* Store up my commands. Let God's Word get into you.

[Your Notes]

* Turn your ear to wisdom. Listen to wise instruction from God and wise people.

[Your Notes]

* Apply your heart to understanding. Apply wise instruction to your current situation.

[Your Notes]

* Call out for insight. Ask God for insights you wouldn't think of on your own.

[Your Notes]

* Cry aloud. Pray out loud over situations where you need wisdom.

[Your Notes]

* Look for it. Actively look for God's revelations. Look for the hand of God in everything.

[Your Notes]

* Search for it as hidden treasure. Treat wisdom as one of the greatest treasures you could acquire.

[Your Notes]

We have to choose to follow the Lord, not just with our salvation decision but also with our daily decisions.

[Your Notes]

Wisdom and folly both want to control our lives, and we have to make a choice about which one will.

[Your Notes]

This Week: Identify a situation in your life where you need to discern a Best Yes, and match it with a verse or several verses from Proverbs. Apply and pray those verses. Talk about them with your wise friends. Wisdom will be waiting for you.

My Thoughts:

[Your Response]

GROUP DISCUSSION: Video Debrief (5 minutes)

1. What part of the teaching had the most impact on you?

[Your Response]

2. Which of the following statements would you say best describes your schedule right now?

[] Time to spare. I am mostly unscheduled and have quite a bit of discretionary time.

[] Time accessible. I am lightly scheduled and have a fair amount of discretionary time.

[] Time enough. I have a good balance between scheduled commitments and discretionary time.

[] Time limited. I am heavily scheduled and have little discretionary time.

[] Time shortage. I am overscheduled and very rarely have discretionary time.

* What three words would you use to summarize how you feel about your current schedule? For example: challenged, bored, energized, exhausted, resentful, engaged, productive, etc.

[Your Response]

* How we schedule our time is based on the decisions we make—what we say yes or no to. Overall, how much control do you feel you have over your schedule right now? In other words, to what degree do you feel free to say yes or no to the requests and opportunities that come your way?

[Your Response]

* What factors, if any, tend to make you feel afraid or anxious about saying no?

[Your Response]

3. Left unchecked, even small fears can derail our decisions. Therefore, we need to flip the fear in our decision making into a much healthier fear that leads to wisdom:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.

(Psalm 111:10 NIV)

Go around the group and have a different person read aloud the following verses that describe various aspects of what it means to fear the Lord. As the verses are read, keep in mind that you are looking for connections between the fear of the Lord and wisdom. Underline any words or phrases that stand out to you. You may wish to read through the list twice to give everyone time to listen and respond.

The Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love.

(Psalm 33:18 NLT)

Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

(Philippians 2:12–13 NLT)

* * *

But you [God] offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear you.

(Psalm 130:4 NLT)

* * *

He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.

(Psalm 145:19 NLT)

* * *

Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

(Psalm 86:11 NIV)

* * *

How joyful are those who fear the LORD—all who follow his ways!

(Psalm 128:1 NLT)

* In order to fear the Lord in the way we're learning, we have to know Him and understand what He's like. Briefly review the passages and focus on the words describing God's actions. overall, how does God relate to those who fear Him? What is the image of God these passages convey?

[Your Response]

* The passages also characterize those who fear the Lord. What stands out most to you about what it means to fear the Lord? What connections might you make between these characteristics and what it means to practice wisdom?

[Your Response]

* If part of what it means to fear the Lord—to have wisdom—is to rely on God's unfailing love and faithfulness, what do you think it means to be foolish in this regard? In other words, what else might we choose to rely on instead (especially when making decisions)?

[Your Response]

* When you feel anxious or afraid about saying yes or no, which passage(s) might help you to flip your fear of the decision into a healthier fear—the fear of the Lord that leads to wisdom? Share the reasons for your response.

[Your Response]

4. It's easy to think that our daily yes and no decisions aren't all that important, but over time, they can add up: The decisions we make dictate the schedules we keep; the schedules we keep determine the life we live; the life we live determines how we spend our soul—and how we spend our soul matters.

Briefly recall a recent decision you made about your time that you later realized was unwise.

* How did that decision impact your schedule?

[Your Response]

* How did your schedule then impact your life?

[Your Response]

* As a result, how would you say you spent your soul in that situation?

[Your Response]

5. The promise of The Best Yes is that we can learn to move beyond the limitations of yes and no and seek out a third option: the Best Yes. A Best Yes decision is a choice that allows us to play our part in God's plan—to spend our energy, focus, and passion on the assignments that are really ours.

* Sometimes we miss our Best Yes opportunities because we fail to heed the warning of the whispers within: I'm tired. I don't want to say yes. I'm a little overwhelmed and a lot worn down. Looking back on the situation you described in question 4, were there any warning whispers you failed to heed? If so, what were they?

[Your Response]

* What do you imagine a Best Yes decision in that situation might have been? In other words, what decision would have enabled you to play your part and spend your energy, focus, and passion wisely?

[Your Response]

6. The five remaining sessions in The Best Yes explore how to establish a pattern of wisdom in our lives, especially in the decisions we make about how to use our time. In addition to learning together as a group, it's important to be aware of how God is at work among you in the time you spend together—especially in how you relate to each other and share your lives throughout the study. As you discuss the teaching in each session, there will be many opportunities to speak life-giving—and life-challenging—words, and to listen to one another deeply.

Take a few moments to consider the kinds of things that are important to you in this setting. What do you need or want from the other members of the group? Use one or more of the sentence starters below, or your own statement, to help the group understand the best way to be good companions to you throughout this Best Yes journey. As each person responds, use the chart that follows to briefly note what is important to that person and how you can support and encourage her.

It really helps me when ...
I tend to withdraw or feel anxious when ...
I'd like you to challenge me about ...
I'll know this group is a safe place if you ...
In our discussions, the best
thing you could do for me is ...

INDIVIDUAL ACTIVITY: What I Want to Remember (2 minutes)

Complete this activity on your own.

1. Briefly review the outline and any notes you took.

2. In the space below, write down the most significant thing you gained in this session—from the teaching, activities, or discussions.

What I want to remember from this session ...

[Your Response]


Close your time together with prayer. Share your prayer requests with one another. Ask God to give you the joy Scripture promises to those who learn to fear Him, and invite Him to lead you into the freedom of making wise, Best Yes decisions.

Wise Up


If you're participating in the optional challenge to read through the book of Proverbs, use this worksheet to help you keep track of your reading. If you'd like, use the space provided below to make notes and to reflect on what you read this week.

[] Proverbs 1

[] Proverbs 2

[] Proverbs 3

[] Proverbs 4

[] Proverbs 5

[] Proverbs 6

[] Proverbs 7

What verses, words, or phrases stand out most to you? Why?

[Your Response]

INTRODUCTION: Make Your Personal Studies a Best Yes

Every session in The Best Yes includes a personal study to help you make meaningful connections between your life and what you're learning each week. Because all of us sometimes have days and weeks that are more demanding than others, each personal study features three segments designed to fit whatever time you have:

* 30-Minute Wisdom

* 15-Minute Wisdom

* 5-Minute Wisdom

Together, the time allotted for the three segments adds up to fifty minutes. If you'd like to spread it out, devoting about eight to ten minutes a day to the study will enable you to work through all three segments in the course of a week. If you have one day a week with a larger block of time, you might choose to work through all three segments in one sitting. Or, if all you can spare is fifteen minutes, completing the fifteen-minute segment could be the perfect solution for you that week. There's no right or wrong way to do the personal studies! You're free to make a Best Yes decision by customizing an option that best fits your needs and schedule from week to week.


Session 1

Personal Study


There's this nagging sense that something's a bit off inside me. Someone makes a request of me that I know right away is unrealistic. My brain says no. My schedule says no. My reality says no. But my heart says yes! Then my mouth betrays my intention of saying no, as it smiles and says, "Yes, of course."

The Best Yes, page 4

1. Think back on a recent situation in which you said yes, even though at the time you knew that probably wasn't the wisest response. Write what you were thinking in the thought bubble below; then write what you actually said in the speech bubble.

Something happened that changed your "no" thoughts into a "yes" re-sponse. What was it? What concerns or fears prompted you to disregard the warnings from your discernment or the Holy Spirit's leading?

[Your Response]

To what degree does your response in this particular situation represent your general decision-making approach when it comes to how you spend your time? Circle the number on the continuum that best describes your response.

2. A woman who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul. An underwhelmed soul is one who knows there is more God made her to do, but who feels too overwhelmed or powerless to pursue it.

In what ways, if any, would you say your soul feels underwhelmed or lacking in fulfillment right now?

[Your Response]

What is your "soul thing"—that God-honoring endeavor that keeps slipping away because there's been no time to set aside and actually start? What interests or dreams might you pursue, however small or large, if you had the time and energy? For example: turn a photography hobby into a business, start a small bakery, go on a missions trip, get out of debt, go back and complete a degree, run a backyard Bible club for neighborhood kids, teach a class at church, etc.

[Your Response]

If devoting time to this soul thing could be a Best Yes—a way for you to shine and serve in one of God's assignments for you—who might be blessed as a result? For example:

* I want to turn my photography hobby into a business so that I might bless families with young children.

* I want to start a small bakery so that I might bless my family, my employees, and the customers I would serve each day.

* I want to go on a missions trip so that I might bless people who have fewer material resources than I do.

I want to ...

[Your Response]

So that I might bless ...

[Your Response]

3. To get an inspiring picture of what can happen when we take a risk and change our approach, read the "Fearless Fosbury" story.

When we get locked into a reactive approach to scheduling our time, chances are good that we'll spend our soul haphazardly. In order to spend our souls wisely and well, we need to flip our approach and be proactive—we must dedicate time to our soul thing each week before that time gets eaten up by other people's requests.


Excerpted from The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst, CHRISTINE M. ANDERSON. Copyright © 2014 Lysa TerKeurst. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents


How to Use This Guide, 7,
Session 1 Set Your Heart to Wisdom, 11,
Session 2 Establish a Pattern of Wisdom, 45,
Session 3 Practice Wisdom, 73,
Session 4 Predetermine Your Best Yes, 101,
Session 5 Avoid the Traps of People Pleasing, 129,
Session 6 Build a Best Yes Legacy, 159,
About the Author, 187,

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