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The Book Of Eli

The Book Of Eli

4.2 11
by Sam Moffie
Eli Canaan is a believer. And, like many, he believes himself to be a principled and moral man. Well, for the most part anyway. But, after a series of missteps, sins, some would say, Eli's life is suddenly and unexpectedly altered forever. A spurned wife, a gypsy, a hex and spiritual intervention may all be at the root of Eli's unexpected, deep and earnest


Eli Canaan is a believer. And, like many, he believes himself to be a principled and moral man. Well, for the most part anyway. But, after a series of missteps, sins, some would say, Eli's life is suddenly and unexpectedly altered forever. A spurned wife, a gypsy, a hex and spiritual intervention may all be at the root of Eli's unexpected, deep and earnest introspection, which is like nothing he has ever experienced before - in this world.

God and Jesus, as well as a host of zany characters, help show Eli the pathway to redemption (among other things). During his journey Eli is entertained by atheists, a renowned psychoanalyst, and one of the greatest jokesters in history, Groucho Marx. Eli takes nothing for granted as he is guided through a series of events and opportunities for learning what ought to be everyone's purpose in life - living the commandments as they were meant to be lived by.

An uplifting story of hope and meaning and belief in the goodness that can come by opening one's eyes to the Heavens...

Sam Moffie once again creates a story which every reader will identify with, feel empathy for, and be entertained by. The protagonist's adventures and concomitant soul-searching take us to a heightened level, whereby we ourselves begin to seek and ultimately find the road to salvation, if we choose to follow it. And, as any reader of Moffie knows, a good laugh is never more than a page away, if that...

Like Vonnegut... no holds barred Like Rand... the consummate pragmatist Like Aesop... a moral message disguised by humor Moffie... master of all domains

Product Details

Mill City Press, Inc.
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
0.33(w) x 6.00(h) x 9.00(d)

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The Book Of Eli 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 11 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Although it had some good moments overall it was a waste of time and money.
glentn More than 1 year ago
thoroughly enjoyed this book...after the first chapter. Has some thought provoking sections.
Pacificbookreview More than 1 year ago
"The Book of Eli," by Sam Moffie begins with a monologue about Eli done in such a humorous fashion! I could imagine the introduction being performed by someone like Jerry Seinfeld or possibly the late Rodney Dangerfield as a stand-up act. Hilarious! It even gets funnier as it continued on, making it impossible to put down. Of course, no comic humor is without countless references to sex, as Eli himself was a self-proclaimed adulterer. As Sam Moffie so eloquently stated, Eli was a very respectable citizen. He loved his wife, provided for his family, didn't cheat on his taxes, paid as much as he could afford to all charities, called his parents daily (while they were alive), took out the garbage late in the evening so his neighbors wouldn't see the trash cans, washed his hands after going to the bathroom, squeezed toothpaste from the bottom, always put down the toilet seat, however, he had sex with women other than his wife as often as he could; so 9 out of 10 isn't bad. Eli, being a sexaholic, had his challenges, but the orgasmic benefits of "hitting a home run over the fence," as he put it (many times and in many ways), were worth the risk. When he did get caught by his wife, he was truly sad; sad he got caught. Incorrigible and relentless in his pursuit of carnal knowledge he lived his life until one day - bingo, he died. This was when the book took on a Charles Dickens' type of twist. One where, if casted as a movie, Eli, the Warren Beatty of Shampoo character changed into the Jim Carrey of Bruce Almighty, complete with Orson Wells playing God - or was that Groucho Marx? You'll see what I mean when you read this book. The dialogue between Eli and Julius, his guide through heaven, constitutes the majority of the galley to "Book of Eli" and allows a tremendously imaginative comic relief to the serious philosophical issues and historical analysis of society - and just about everything else Sam Moffie can think of. At one point Julius is walking through a locker room with Eli, glancing at the names on the lockers of dead people when they come across one with Peter O'Toole on it, who isn't yet dead but has a reserved locker. "Did you ever notice that the name Peter O'Toole is a double phallic?" asked Julius. There is even a guest cameo appearance by Jesus, and he had plenty of "Jewish Jokes" up his sleeve. Really, you have to be pretty open minded to allow for this type of sacrilegious humor to entertain you, and I can see how some people will be turned off by Sam Moffie's sense of humor. But to each their own, and Moffie has the skill to present his work in a clearly non-prejudiced fashion. That is, if you poke fun at everything and everyone, in a comic license sort of way, you're let off the hook of being called a bigot. So be it. "The Book of Eli" is strong humor for those strong enough and thick skinned enough to take it. It is definitely "out of the box" thinking, some heavenly original humor from the excellent mind of the immaculately conceived character Eli. The only thing noticeably absent from the book was the Latin phrase; Eli, Eli lema sabachthani. When you think about it, it's hard to make that line funny.
FeatheredQuillBookReviews More than 1 year ago
Eli Canaan is a man who lives by most of the commandments. He's what you would call a good man, although not great. The one thing Eli's not very good at is being a husband to his wife Abigail. In fact, Eli has a tendency to cheat - more than a little bit - causing strife in their marriage. Now, Abigail isn't one to "slink" away or call for pity. She loves her husband, she just needs a way to change his outlook where other women are concerned. So, going to the yellow pages, Abigail finds a Gypsy listing and meets her for coffee at Starbucks to go over a few things. Abigail learns the difference between hexes and spells, and heads into her future with Eli with a brand new, happy outlook. Eli, while his wife is out of town, has an unusual experience. Not with a woman.with God. And this is where the author takes the reader by the hand and enters a world of true and utter humor and intelligence that is rarely - if ever - found in books on the market today. Eli finds himself 'up above,' where he has an audience with the Big Guy, Himself. God's voice is that of Orson Welles, and Eli soon finds out that for each person the 'voice' of the Lord is different. (i.e., the voice of God to Orson Welles sounds like William Randolph Hearst). Anyway, Eli is soon introduced to his guide through Heaven. The man's name is Julius, but after a steam bath, a couple of cigars, and being introduced to a golden 'celebrity' locker room, Eli comes to realize that Julius is actually Groucho Marx. Groucho explains what Eli is doing each step of the way, and also tells Eli that he's 'up above' because he has a mission he needs to accomplish. You see, Eli has a purpose under Heaven and through some truly fantastic scenes - like being shown the great, long lines of people waiting to see Moses and Nostradamus, but a clear path to Freud's front door - this author has literally thought of everything for the reader to enjoy! From explanations as to why athletes return to earth as flies, and why animals aren't seen in Heaven; to being in Freud's office where Mad Magazine fills the bookshelves, and partaking in a conversation with a true atheist - every page of this book shines with charm and wit. A favorite for all will be the Lord's Son who makes it a point to alert others that he and his Apostles were good at "jokes." (They kept their stress-levels down.) This book is an amazing achievement. Although there are many in the world who would find this novel blasphemous, what must be understood is the very true and realistic fact that humor is NEEDED in this cynical world. Quill Says: A fantastic, fun story that offers a 'new' look at what's really inside the Pearly Gates.
sandiek More than 1 year ago
Eli Canaan wakes up to find himself in heaven, or at least he thinks it's heaven. He believes he has led a good life, except for the fact that he has been a serial adulterer for all his married life. He cheats with new women, women who he's been involved with for years; any woman, any time. Surely that can't be so wrong? As he starts to try to navigate his new surroundings, he is assigned a guide. A heavenly angel? Sorry, not so. Instead he finds his guide to be Groucho Marx. Marx arranges a series of interviews for Eli to explain both how life on Earth works from God's perspective and how Eli's life is viewed from above. Each visit gives Eli new perspectives. He is taken to talk with Sigmund Freud, who explains how the relationship between human men and women works. Donald Joseph, a master winemaker, explains addictions and how they work to Eli. Jesus explains the role of humor in human lives and explains the basis of the Ten Commandments. Immediately afterwards, Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the only unhappy person Eli meets, explains why she is still an atheist, even in Heaven. Ayn Rand explains her philosophical and economic beliefs, and then Eli is given the chance to meet with his mother and hear her story from her perspective. The book ends with Eli's audience with God, and God's decision about what happens to him next. Sam Moffie takes on the philosophical questions of why we are here, why we have estabished values in society, and how to get back on track when one has strayed. He does so through the use of parables, but even more, through the use of humor and wit. Eli is a wiseacre who is slowly led to understand the reason for human life and the role of religion in it. This book is recommended for readers who are interested in a breezy look at what life means and how to make the best of it.
jewelknits More than 1 year ago
Eli Canaan, married to Abigail, is a good guy. He works, takes care of his family, and doesn't steal (much). As a matter of fact, the list of all of the good things he does takes two pages of the book. But there is one thing that seems to trump all of the good things about Eli: he cheats on his wife ... a lot ... as a matter of fact, he may even be a sex addict. Abigail knows about her philandering husband, and one day, tired of being cuckolded (yes, I use that for both men and women), she consults a gypsy for a spell to make her husband stay faithful. Meanwhile, Eli is busy at the hotel with Mary, also married, yet still Eli's main side squeeze (they get together at least twice a week). While at the "climax" of their illicit meeting, Eli cries out and when he opens his eyes, he is in a different place. The first voice he hears is that of Orson Wells, who clues him in on where he is. As we follow Eli around Heaven with his guide Julius AKA Groucho Marx, meeting figures as diverse as Ayn Rand and Freud, Eli figures out that he has been picked for a mission. He doesn't know what the mission IS, but he learns a lot about how Heaven really works through discussions with the people he visits. He also finds out that both God AND Jesus have a sense of humor, which is why they picked him for this mission. I would describe this book as "smart satire", filled with one-liners delivered with zing, Eli's initial obsession with "screwing", and even some people who you wouldn't think would make it to heaven. This book will not be everyone's cup of tea, but it is witty and unique and at times quite zany. I just kept picturing old-style comedians on stage, complete with hats and cigars, as I read it. Writing Purists: This book could have used a bit more careful editing, as I noticed some typos, missing and misplaced punctuation, and a couple of syntax errors. It is not loaded down with these types of errors, however. The writing itself is good. I always notice these in any book and if I see more than ten, I point it out in my review, because I am the kind of reader that gets "jarred out" of a story when I see them. Sensitive Reader: Quite a few f-bombs and sexual content - this book is likely not for you. QUOTES: Eli sent a thought to the Almighty: I don't know what I have been chosen for, but can't you choose someone else? There is no way I am qualified for whatever it is you have chosen me for, unless it is going back to Earth to be a horny tomcat. Eli was disappointed that Moses didn't look like Charlton Heston (so was Moses). "But of course. Get in trouble and summon Ethan Allen," the Almighty mentioned. "The furniture guy?" replied a surprised Eli. "I see you were one of the ones asleep in history class," a disappointed God said to Eli. (I received a complimentary copy of this title through Pump Up Your Book to facilitate my review)
Pinnacle_Author_Book_Prom More than 1 year ago
Practically perfect in every way; this describes our protagonist to a tee. An obsession with sexual satisfaction leads to a world of trouble for Eli Canaan when he cannot find the necessary sexual fulfilment within his marriage bed. While he understands that cheating on his wife could lead to a nasty divorce, the unsuspecting Eli lives his life in relative ease until his wife consults a local gypsy woman and asks for her help. From that moment on, his life would never be the same... The Book of Eli will grab the reader's attention right away! Though Eli is a wonderful man who would do anything for anybody, his insatiable hunger for sexual satisfaction would be his undoing. While Eli is in "the midst of" with somebody else's wife, Abigail Canaan is trying to find a way to put an end to her husband's philandering ways. Using the services of a renowned gypsy woman, Abigail puts a hex on Eli as he is enjoying a mind-blowing climax with another woman. Suddenly, Eli realizes that he is not where he was moments ago. Shocked and more than a little disoriented, Eli hears the booming voice God. While this story is a conversion message of sorts, it is anything but the typical spiel. Sam Moffie uses humor and a distinct writing style to illuminate and examine some philosophical, thought-provoking questions that many of us we have been asking for eons. The majority of the story takes place in heaven, where Eli spends his time conversing with God, Jesus and a number of famous characters who do their part to help him figure out the meaning of his life. The Book of Eli invites readers into a world with a mysterious, introspective feel and an enlightening premise. One of the most entertaining and enjoyable conversion stories ever told! A fair amount of swearing, vulgarities and unique dialogue between some of the celestial characters in the story might shock or offend some readers. Copyright © Pinnacle: Author & Book Promotion --- Bobbie Crawford-McCoy
Tyler_TichelaarTT More than 1 year ago
Sam Moffie, the author of three previous novels, including "No Mad" has written a new kind of novel that takes both familiar and different turns from his previous work. The humor his readers have come to love is here, the quirky characters are familiar; in fact, many are very familiar since they are almost all famous dead people, yet Moffie helps us to see many of those departed sages in a new light. How? Because his main character, Eli Canaan, talks to them in Heaven. But don't worry. "The Book of Eli" is no deep soul-searching book-well, sort of, but Moffie's humor saves it from being too serious. After all, the main character, Eli Canaan, is a good guy who deserves to go to Heaven, but he does have one flaw. He likes sex, and that's putting it mildly; not that anything is wrong with sex itself, but Eli likes sex so much that he has it multiple times a week with women other than his wife. And that's where Eli's journey begins. He dies, or at least thinks he has died, while in the act of committing adultery. What is Eli's punishment for adultery? Not only does he get to visit Heaven, but he gets to talk to some interesting people, most of whom readers will know, including Sigmund Freud and Jesus; some of them readers might well anticipate, such as Ayn Rand because she has been mentioned in Moffie's previous works. Moffie appears to like the quest or journey motif for his stories. In "No Mad" the title plays on the nomadic wanderings of its main character as he tours America while writing a book. In "The Book of Eli" the main character tours Heaven, realizing God has a purpose for him, although that purpose is not clear until the end; Eli fears he may end up being reincarnated as a cat, but readers are left guessing until the end how it will all turn out. While I felt a bit impatient with wondering what the story was leading up to since the plot was slim, I certainly enjoyed the humorous visits in Heaven with the different historical figures. I trust Moffie's previous readers will have no problem abandoning themselves to Moffie's sense of humor and his comical, somewhat satirical look at a Heaven where people stand in line for years just to talk to Jesus or Moses. Best of all was the portrayal of how death changes, or doesn't change people. The two best examples are Eli's visits to Madalyn Murray O'Hair and Ayn Rand, both avowed atheists, yet both in Heaven-God does have a sense of humor. The visit to O'Hair alone is funny enough to make the book worth its price. "The Book of Eli" is shorter than Moffie's previous novels, but its humor is just as strong. Its purpose may not be quite as focused as his earlier works, but while it is not really philosophical, it raises some interesting questions and provides a few insights into life from a unique and humorous perspective. I wish the results of Eli's heavenly education had been provided in more detail, but I think most readers will only be disappointed that the book is not longer. Hopefully we won't have long to wait for Moffie's next book. - Tyler R.Tichelaar, author of the award-winning "Narrow Lives"
AuthorReviewerGeri More than 1 year ago
Sam Moffie creates another Masterpiece as he takes the reader on a spiritual journey through the life of Eli Canaan, who is a unique character, obsessed with sexual encounters with Abigail, and faced with the consequences of a hex that a gypsy strikes upon him. The story is as intelligent as NO MAD and as comical as THE ORGAN GRINDER AND THE MONKEY, which makes THE BOOK OF ELI, the icing on the cake. Abigail paid one-thousand dollars to a gypsy, while concerned about her husband's promiscuity, having no idea what the end results would be. Little did she know that Eli's life was about to change, after he is awakened from a deep sleep, totally convinced that what was about to happen had to be a dream. As he begins to hear voices, informing him that he committed adultery, he feels guilt and regret after speaking to God, believing that his behavior is what directly lead him to the gates of Heaven. Julius, who is Eli's guide, sent from God, is on a mission to direct Eli on the road to a rewarding life. As Eli begins to walk on a spiritual path, he learns from the teachings of Jesus, and many others. Through these voices of his advisors, he begins to focus on changes concerning ongoing issues that society is forced to deal with, such as the outrageous salary of an athlete, or the religious institutions that don't pay taxes. The astonishing story-telling becomes unpredictable and more interesting as Eli voices his opinion in an open and honest, tell-it-like-it-is style. I highly recommend this novel to all fantasy and fiction lovers who enjoy philosophy, blended with satire, and humor. The author penned a delicious, well crafted page turner on the ultimate redemption of a man who made a complete U-turn in his life as his mind begins to shift on life's most important matters. What was Eli's view-point on the misinterpretations of the teachings of Jesus? How did he feel about Hollywood's juicy gossip to the public? What did he think about people focused on the weather, instead of current events in the world? The clever author covers each mischievous page with wit and irony as the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is told by Eli Canaan. What insight did Sigmund Freud pass on to Eli? What was Eli's opinion about worshipping money and sex before God? Sam Moffie painted a triumphant story in a delightful read. "THE BOOK OF ELI" will surprise you as much as Patrick Swayze did in GHOST, and will make you laugh as much as Jack Nicholson did in AS GOOD AS IT GETS.
ApexReviews More than 1 year ago
Blessed (or cursed?) with a superhuman libido, Eli loves sex - and he feels no need to make any apologies for it. Of course, his perpetually horny nature places him at direct odds with his wife, Abigail, who firmly believes that having sex more than three times a month is, quite frankly, overdoing it. In order to curb her husband's urges, Abigail solicits the help of a gypsy, who promptly hexes Eli - but little do any of them know, her "remedy" will have much more far-reaching ramifications than they could ever imagine. Soon, Eli finds himself on an extended introspective spiritual journey down the road of ultimate redemption - specifically designed to help him shift his focus to what really matters in life. Written with his trademark cutting wit, The Book Of Eli is another uniquely eye-opening offering by author Sam Moffie. Crafted in unceremoniously satirical fashion, Eli summons the likes of everyone from Sigmund Freud to Jesus to Groucho Marx in delivering a piercing commentary on the all-too-often futile follies of humanity. Never one to pull any punches, Moffie uses Eli as a de facto teaching tool for those who - like Eli - regularly mistake vice for virtue, effortlessly integrating philosophical musings and brutal honesty into a well developed tapestry of unfettered truth and sage insight. As a result, readers are sure to find themselves simultaneously bedeviled and beguiled by Moffie's signature literary sleight-of-hand. Refreshingly frank and honest, The Book Of Eli is the latest installment in the ever-improving opus of a bona fide literary talent. A well crafted, strongly recommended read. Linda Waterson Apex Reviews
MarkfromNiles More than 1 year ago
Sam Moffie's 4th novel is his best yet! An off-beat fantasy tale about Heaven, Hell and all in between. Wht other author would make Jesus Christ a funny man who uses humor to make points.