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A gentleman of very ancient family and considerable estate was married to a lady of beauty, wit, virtue, and good humor. But though he knew and acknowledged the merits of his wife, yet he was a man of so depraved a taste that the dirtiest creature he could pick up frequently provided him carnal pleasure.
It happened when they were at their country home that riding one morning, as was his usual custom, he met a ragged country wench with a pair of wallets, or coarse linen bags, thrown over her shoulder. He stopped his horse and asked what she had there? She replied, with a low curtsy that exposed the plenitude of her breasts, that it was leftovers; that her mother and she had no sustenance but what they got from the charity of the cooks at the landowners' homes. She was now going home with what they had given her.
"You need not be in haste, I suppose," he said. "If you will step with me into yonder field, I will give you something to buy you a new gown."
The poor girl didn't need much persuasion to bring her to consent. The gentleman alighted from his horse and threw the bridle over a hedge stake. The girl at the same time hung her bags on the pommel of the saddle to prevent their coming to any harm, then followed the gentleman a little way from the road.
Upon their arrival at a grassy meadow out of sight of the thoroughfare, the "gentleman" immediately fell upon the girl and fairly tore her garments from her. He bore her to the ground, her thin blouse and peasant's skirt flapping in frayed strips around her. This was truly more than she'd bargained for, but as she was already in receipt of the money the gentleman had promised topay, she didn't see how she could suddenly refuse him.
His hands were all over her, ravaging, tearing, sweeping her undergarments and the tatters of her outer clothes from her. He sighed when her breasts sprang free of their confinement, and dove at them with his mouth, worrying them as a dog would a bone. The girl's nipples were large and fully engorged and filled his mouth. He licked and sucked them until he felt his passion overwhelm him and he could delay no longer. Immediately he lowered his breeches and revealed his throbbing weapon, erect and capped with a thick helmet that turned a darker hue before the eyes of the hapless maid. He thrust her legs apart with his knees, devouring the sight of her creamy thighs and the thatch of luxurious moss that grew at their juncture. He brought the head of his bobbing cock to her slit and thrust within, driving to the very core until his belly slapped hers. She wrapped her legs around his back as he began the motion of love, rocking back and forth and shuttling his impressive tool in and out of her willing sheath. At the same time, he grasped her jiggling boobs and used them to support his body as he continued his frenzied fucking. Already his sperm boiled within him, and without concern for the desires of the girl, he thrust home until the flood reached the tip of his spout, whereupon it overflowed in unrestrained fury.
The horse, not liking his situation, found means to get loose and ran directly home. The lady by chance was at the window when he came galloping into the courtyard. She was at first a little frightened to see him without his rider. Perceiving the bags on the pommel, she called to have them brought to her, and on their being so was not long at a loss to guess the meaning of this adventure. She ordered the cook to empty the wallets and put whatever food she found in them onto a clean dish and send it up in the first course that day at dinner--which accordingly was done.
The husband, on missing his horse, walked home, and brought with him two neighboring gentlemen whom he accidentally met along the way. But these guests did not prevent the lady from prosecuting her intention. The beggar's provision was set upon the table--remnants of stale fowls, bones half-picked, pieces of beef, mutton, lamb, veal, with several lumps of coarse bread huddled together. It made a very sorry appearance.
All eyes were upon this dish, and the husband, not knowing what to make of it, cried out pretty hastily, "What is this? What have we got here?"
The lady, with the greatest gaiety, replied, "Why, it is a hodgepodge, my dear! It wants no variety; I think there is a little of everything, and I hope you will eat heartily of it, as it is a dish of your own providing."
The significant smile which accompanied these last words, as well as the tone of voice in which they were spoken, made him remember where the beggar girl had hung her wallets. This threw him into a good deal of confusion. Perceiving this, the lady ordered the dish to be taken away and said, "I see you do not like it, my dear. Therefore, when next you go to market, pray be a better caterer."
"Forgive this," he cried, "and I promise never to go to any such market again."
The gentlemen who had been invited to sup found there was some mystery in all this, but would not be so free as to ask for an explanation. When dinner was over, however, and the lady, after behaving the whole time with all the cheerfulness imaginable, had retired to leave them to their bottle, the husband made no scruple of relating to them by what means his table had been furnished with so bedraggled a dish. They laughed very heartily, and would have done so much more if their admiration of the lady's wit and good humor had not almost entirely engrossed their attention.