The Cactus Eaters [NOOK Book]


The Pacific Crest Trail stretches from Mexico to Canada, a distance of 2,650 grueling, sun-scorched, bear-infested miles. When Dan White and his girlfriend announced their intention to hike it, Dan's parents—among others—thought they were nuts. How could two people who'd never even shared an apartment together survive six months in the desert with little more than a two-person tent and some trail mix? But when these addled adventurers, dubbed "the Lois and Clark Expedition" by their benevolent trail-guru, set out...

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The Cactus Eaters

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The Pacific Crest Trail stretches from Mexico to Canada, a distance of 2,650 grueling, sun-scorched, bear-infested miles. When Dan White and his girlfriend announced their intention to hike it, Dan's parents—among others—thought they were nuts. How could two people who'd never even shared an apartment together survive six months in the desert with little more than a two-person tent and some trail mix? But when these addled adventurers, dubbed "the Lois and Clark Expedition" by their benevolent trail-guru, set out for the American wilderness, the hardships of the trail—and one delicious-looking cactus—test the limits of love and sanity.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
They called it "The Lois and Clark Expedition." Armed with a two-man pup tent and a few supplies, Dan White and his girlfriend set off into the wilderness, ambitiously intent on hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, which stretches from Mexico to Canada. To most informed observers, the entire project seemed a little nutty: the couple had never shared a cozy apartment, much less six months in the bear-infested rugged outdoors. In The Cactus Eater, White explains how they made it through in ways that they never expected. A lighthearted, self-deprecating adventurer speaks his piece; fun read.
Publishers Weekly

Traversing broiling deserts, snowy mountain passes and dank rain forests on its crooked way from Mexico to Canada, the Pacific Coast Trail is an epic challenge for die-hard backpackers. White and his girlfriend, Melissa, set out, late in the season and bereft of experience, to tread all 2,650 miles of it, leaving behind lousy reporting jobs and hoping to find self-definition and a deepened relationship. (They call their trek the Lois and Clark Expedition.) Hilarious greenhorn misadventures ensue-including the author's ill-advised chomp, while dizzy with dehydration, into a reputedly moisture-laden prickly-pear cactus-that tested their survival skills and commitment as a couple. The trail becomes less an itinerary than a world unto itself, full of squalor, discomfort and majestic scenery, and peopled by charismatic misfits and an austere cult of ultra-light speed-hikers, as the couple rely on arcane camping gear and bizarre gummy-bear-and-marshmallow diets. The wilderness authenticity the author seeks proves elusive; all journey and no destination, the story itself eventually trails off with the hero even more callow and confused than when he started. Still, White's vivid prose and hangdog humor make readers want to keep up. (June)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Kirkus Reviews
Journalist White and his girlfriend Melissa tackle the Pacific Crest Trail, Mexico to Canada and all the many miles and weather developments in between. They both worked at a small newspaper in Connecticut. He was a book-smart nerd with a deep-seated need to rebel; she was professionally ambitious but with an appetite for adventure. They fell for each other and, in an act of sublime ignorance, decided to knock off the 2,650-mile Pacific Crest Trail in one summer-long act of youth and bravado. That was ten years ago, which has given White time to recover from their trail-trial-by-fire and to find some humor in the story. White and Melissa encountered a typical gallery of blowhards, weirdos and good Samaritans on the trail. They desert-fried and snowfield-froze. They found scorpions in their boots and swarms of ticks everywhere. The food was scary (and so was the diarrhea). But they also saw peach-colored mornings and lavender evenings; they skinny-dipped and made love. Drawing on diaries he kept at the time, White polishes up these memories, serving them forth with brio and dash. But he also unsparingly portrays his selfish ways as he gradually descended into an edgy and anxious frame of mind. He was raw: a buffoon, quixotic when not churlish. Readers will laugh with the author as he delivers one-liners ("It changes you when you bite your first cactus"), but they will also steam at his solipsistic antics and become unnerved when they see him making critical decisions with decidedly impaired judgment. No wonder Melissa broke up with him after the big hike. Brings a fresh perspective to the timeworn adventure-travel genre.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061739859
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/13/2009
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 400
  • Sales rank: 392,815
  • File size: 2 MB

Meet the Author

Dan White is a journalist and author whose work has appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and Backpacker magazine. He received his MFA from Columbia University, and he lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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Read an Excerpt

The Cactus Eaters How I Lost My Mind—and Almost Found Myself—on the Pacific Crest Trail
By Dan White
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Copyright © 2008 Dan White
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780061376931

Chapter One

Hot Teeth

It's 9:00 A.M. in the southern edge of the Sierra Nevada, eighty-five degrees and rising. The water in our bottles is almost gone, but I don't panic. I suck my tongue. I lick my hot teeth.

Allison, my girlfriend, stirs in her sleeping bag. She wakes up slowly, stretching her arms to the tent's nylon roof. From the way she smiles at me, you'd never know we're in crisis mode again. Yesterday, our unbreakable leakproof water bag broke and leaked all over my $385 Gregory Robson backpack. We've been rationing for fourteen hours now. I take a deep breath, try to stay calm, and smile back at her as best I can. Our love is still strong, in spite of the fact that Allison's hair is shagging into her eyes this morning, making her look like a yak, and in spite of the fact that we haven't had sex in God knows how long. I emerge from our tent on my hands and knees and shake my boots for scorpions. There are none this morning. My socks are brown and hard and smell like ham. I put them on anyway. Allison puts on hers. "Cowboy up," she says. She has splotches of dirt all over her body. I'm not looking so great, either. After 178.3 miles and 2 ½ weeks of this journey to the north, my shirt rots on my back. Pig bristles sprout from my chin.

We dust ourselves off and load our stuffinto our backpacks. I walk out into the dry heat with Allison, my back pain, and the little bit of water we've saved. Five miles to go until we reach Yellow Jacket Spring. I am worried that the spring will not exist, or will have uranium or a dead cow in it. This morning I feel the strain of all we've seen and experienced: the heat blisters, the rashes, the dust devils, the coyotes who keep us up at night with their relentless whining. Still, things could be worse. At least we're making progress. This, after all, is our dream, to be here in a real wilderness. I remind myself that we're here by choice. We walk on. Beads of sweat draw paisley patterns through the dirt on my legs.

I watch Allison move through the landscape with confidence. Though she's dirty and tired, and in spite of what's happening to her hair, she is still lovely. She pouts in concentration as she studies the map and compass. Now she's passing me on the trail, edging around me, taking the recon position without consulting me. Is this an unspoken act of rebellion, I wonder? I walk behind her, and though I wish she'd spoken to me about this leadership change—I'm the designated leader for today—at least I've got a nice view of her calves and her trail-hardened bottom as she leans forward to climb the hill, her hands on her shoulder straps. Her solar-reflective Outdoor Research survival hat shades her face. I try to forget my thirst, but I just can't. Every time I swallow, it feels like there's a Nerf ball in my throat.

The word Sierra conjures images of mountains, glaciers, rivers, and charming marmots. Scratch those pictures from your mind. Replace them with dust and dirt and sweat, canyon oak, piñon pine, and in the middle distance, blunt-topped crags the shape and color of an old dog's teeth. Every once in a while there's a hint of darker colors: the slate-gray berries on a juniper bush, the black on the back of a turkey vulture below us in a canyon, but for the most part the scenery is pale beige, the color of stucco, the color of gefilte fish. The Pacific Crest Trail is renowned for its beauty, but this patch of trail is plug-ugly, and we haven't seen a human in five days. We walk downhill along an abandoned jeep road to search for the spring. Every once in a while the top of a piñon pine peeks from behind a stack of boulders. A mirage appears in a bend on the road. Pools of quicksilver fade as we approach. After fifteen minutes, the dirt road levels, then turns uphill on a punishing grade. I'm starting to wonder why we haven't found the water. It seems we've gone far enough. I'm starting to worry that the spring has dried up.

To distract myself, I remember how we boasted about the trail to everyone who would listen. Even Patrick, my swordfish-nosed barber, knows all about it. Allison and I ditched our jobs in Torrington, Connecticut, to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, a 3-to-10-feet-wide, 2,650-mile-long strip of dirt, mud, snow, ice, and gravel running from Mexico to Canada. The trail starts at the Mexico-California border town of Campo, buzzing with border patrol guards in helicopters. It climbs the Laguna, San Jacinto, and San Bernardino ranges, drops to the Joshua trees and hot sands of the western Mojave Desert, and rises close to the base of Mount Whitney, the highest peak in the lower forty-eight states. The trail nears the thermal stench pots, fumaroles, boiling lakes, and gassy geysers of Lassen. Then it pushes through the Columbia River Gorge and into the North Cascades before coming to a stop in Manning Park, British Columbia. The trail spans California, Oregon, and Washington. On the PCT, you pass through state and federal lands, sovereign Native American territory and timber holdings. You see a thousand lakes, and travel through seven national parks. In the northern lands, mountain goats scale hundred-foot walls in seconds flat. Reach out your hand and you can grab a fistful of huckleberries right off the bush. In northern streams, river otters splash in the shallows.

The PCT is America's loveliest long-distance hiking path, but the trail exacts a toll for a glimpse of its pretty places. In some areas, you must find your way amid the firebreaks and game trails . . .


Excerpted from The Cactus Eaters by Dan White Copyright © 2008 by Dan White. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 10 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 18, 2013

    Thought this would be a good adventure book but what a waste of

    Thought this would be a good adventure book but what a waste of money. Way too much profanity and I can't seem to wrap my head around how he claims to be Jewish, sometimes prays to God but belittles Christians at the "born-agains and "those religious people. Then we are subjected to his opinions about evolution. Don't waste yur money.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 20, 2012

    I Also Recommend:

    Chocked Full of Profanity

    After reading a very good book about the Appalachian Trail (Becoming Odyssa: Adventures on the Appalachian Trail), I thought I'd next read a book about the PCT. I began reading this book but quickly became discouraged when I discovered it was full of profanities and some rather open descriptions of sex with his girlfriend. A quick search of the eBook yieled something like 21 F-bombs and 60 or so other profanities. The storyline seemed to have promise, but it's tough to get by White's potty mouth. I hear it all day long at work and don't automatically prefer my books to contain the same vernacular. If that doesn't bother you then by all means enjoy the book. If you prefer your books to be free of that language, then you should move on to other books.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 24, 2010

    Good story but what a selfish person!

    Let me start off by saying that Whites story of hiking the PCT was a fun and entertaining story. When I was reaching the end of the book I was expecting this amazing transformation for him..from boy to man. From avoiding confrontation to meeting it head on. Instead, I think he ended up worse then when he started this quest to "man up". The way he was totally unable to have a adult conversation with his girlfriend "Allison" about their future plans together made me sick. His complete avoidance to plan for the future made me just "skim" the last few chapters. Not to completely spoil the ending but.. he did not even have a acknowledgment for Allison in the end of the book. I was blown away at that since she had to put up with his bad choices and child like attitude on the trail. I normally don't review books and will most likely not in the future but, for some reason I was compelled.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 29, 2013

    Felt like I was hiking with them!

    This book kept me laughing along the reading trail. And also felt tearful at times. Great writing, engaging style.

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  • Posted September 8, 2012

    Loved this book...White's sense of humor made me laugh, and care about his survival.

    I'm addicted to reading adventure memoirs and this is a memorable read. The author's sense of humor, and candid appraisal of his girlfriend helped me see things from a guy's point of view--literally and figuratively. He wrote honestly about his mistakes and short-comings, and I grew to admire the committment he found not only to The Trail, but to himself.

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  • Posted March 26, 2010

    I Also Recommend:


    A great adventure trail is ruined by Dan's smug attitude. His lack of respect for his hiking partner, whom he continually bypasses when making decisions, diminishes the joy of reading his adventure on the Pacific Crest Trail. His partner is an angel for continuing as long as she did. She is truly to be appreciated especially considering his condescension toward her. Still, taking his attitude out of the equation, it really is a good read for life on the trail - the hardships, the joys, the peace.

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  • Posted September 12, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Personal and honest; excellent!

    I read pretty much every adventure journey book I can get my hands on. Cactus Eaters is one of the very best I have read, comparable to A Walk In the Woods. I love White's humor, use of unusual language and terms, open and honest descriptions, and coverage of the psychological aftermath of a through-hike. So many of these adventure narratives miss the mark, at least for me, by trying for profound and beautiful prose, and end up boring me to death (no names--you know who you are!) but White cuts to the chase and still manages to write in an artful way. I look forward to his next book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2008

    Great summer read!!

    I'd say there were at least a dozen times during my reading of this book that I laughed out loud. Everything else about it was purely entertaining. It certainly gives you a great sense of just what it is that people are getting into when they do these long-distance backpacks. If someone ever writes a great book on the Continental Divide Trail, 'The Cactus Eaters' review of the PCT and 'A Walk in the Woods' story of the App. Trail will join it as the 'must reads' for these three classic American long hikes.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 4, 2008

    Laugh out loud funny

    This is a great book about traveling in the outdoors and all the things that entail it. While not really detailed in specific sites and sounds, the writer manages to portray the human interactions and emotions with great finesse. I laughed out loud and found it a most enjoyable read!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 22, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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