The Closer You Look...the Stranger It Gets by Jael Turner | NOOK Book (eBook) | Barnes & Noble
The Closer You Look...the Stranger It Gets

The Closer You Look...the Stranger It Gets

by Jael Turner
     
 
What do sexy vampire women, dumb zombies, cocky immortals, reality shifters, sadistic angel killers, brainless starlets, hack sci-fi writers, three-eyed alien invaders, mungo weed addicted space engineers, and psycho robotic replicants have in common? These are beings that you should never examine too closely...if you wish to maintain your sanity and your life...the

Overview

What do sexy vampire women, dumb zombies, cocky immortals, reality shifters, sadistic angel killers, brainless starlets, hack sci-fi writers, three-eyed alien invaders, mungo weed addicted space engineers, and psycho robotic replicants have in common? These are beings that you should never examine too closely...if you wish to maintain your sanity and your life...the type of creatures whom you should ignore when you pass them by, keeping your head down and walking fast.

If, on the other hand, you are a thrill seeker, a lover of the bizarre and outlandish, the kind of person who likes to go back stage at the freak shows and booze it up with the outcasts of humanity and dance with the midget with the pink tutu, well then...this book is probably not for you either.

If, on the other, other hand, you a seeker of knowledge, a purveyor of the unusual, and one who understands that "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy," then this is the collection of sci-fi and horror short stories for you. With a mixture of high humor and low drama, blunt wit and sharp stupidity, this tome is sure to satisfy all tastes...especially if you dislike blood-sucking IRS agents, modern art, and blond, fascist women named Ann.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
2940014167888
Publisher:
VisualEyes
Publication date:
03/27/2012
Series:
Don't Look Too Close, Honey , #1
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
226
File size:
201 KB

Meet the Author

Imagine that somewhere in the world there exists two amazingly gifted authors who write genre fiction of every variety: science fiction, horror, fantasy, Westerns, thrillers, historical fiction...eschewing efforts to win Pulitzer or Nobel Prizes for literature, or big book contracts like Stephen has thrown into his face all the time, and other such nonsense...eschewing all of these in order to deliver to their readers highly unpredictable, completely enjoyable and satisfying (while at the same time, somewhat sad and forlorn, Carson McCullers kind of crap) novels of the quality and quantity that discerning readers have only dreamt about.
We are not those authors.
However, we, Emem and Jael, are writers of renown, and we are attempting to at least approximate the above credentials. We write books because they come to us as nightmares: like creatures that fly in the night and prey about those foolish enough to wander the streets, or we dream about dying many deaths, or zombies attack our gas stations and break through the windows and we have to spray them with the hose and set fire to the whole place, losing our franchise with the petroleum company...and our only way of releasing ourselves for these horrors is to pass them on to you; or we have movies playing in our head over and over until finally we write them down, and then these thoughts play over and over on the pages for as long as paper holds ink and words have meaning. We are those authors...and the pages of our books represent our humble contribution to your edification and enjoyment. Feed your brain...and forget about those two ideal writers, they never existed and they never will...and their stuff would probably be crap, anyway.

When you're tired of reading Neil Gaiman, come to us...we're not nearly as good, but we need the money.

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