If you can accurately judge a book by it's cover (and you certainly can), then you should be able to judge an author by their name (and you certainly can't). That's why Charlemagne Goodwriter chose the pen name he did to release his ridiculous and satirical guides under. When he's not in the thick of it researching topics such as transmogrification and boner hiding, Charlemagne enjoys reading, books, reading books, writing bio's for online marketplaces and, of course, speaking about himself in the third person.
The Collected BABU Guides: Volume Oneby Charlemagne Goodwriter
- LendMe LendMe™ Learn More
Well lookie here, it’s the first ever BABU Bundle! We’ve carefully hand picked four of our finest guides to include in this first-ever bundle! These guides, besides being the cream of our crop, are also the only four that actually exist at the moment. We here at the BABU Foundation (not a real foundation) are nothing if not logical! And honest. Fingers crossed! No wait, touch wood? Whichever one that means we’re honest, and makes you send us money, that’s what we mean!
In this incredibly robust and aromatic bundle, you will find a diverse bouquet of guides written by “master” “author” Charlemagne Goodwriter. This includes (but is not limited to) How to Become a Cat, How to Avoid Ebook Scams, How to Pretend to Have Climbed Everest, and How to Whitewash Your National Spy Organization (oh no wait, it is pretty much limited to these four. By pretty much, I mean exactly. Sorry, I’m new at this marketing thing). If you want to know what the guides are about, just look at the titles again, they’re pretty self explanatory. Or also you could check them out at BABUguides.com!
This bundle clocks in at over 13,000 words long, meaning it should take your average reader about an hour to read it. An hour of entertainment for this low price? Prepare braincase for eminent explosion, am I right?
But wait, you don’t trust my word on the incredible value of this bundle because I’m being paid by the publishing company? Well here’s the testimony of people who aren’t getting paid by the publishing company, because they don’t technically exist!
“I was thinking about resigning from my position as the head of a governmental spy organization due to recent public backlash, but I couldn’t decide what to do next. Should I turn into a cat? Pretend to climb Mount Everest? Or perhaps I could finally learn how to avoid ebook scams? Then I found this bundle and realized I could do all of these things, and also not resign from my job at all because I learned how to make people think spying is okay after all! I figure there must be millions of people in my situation, so this bundle’s going to sell like hotcakes!”
-(NAME REDACTED) - intelligence administrator and Everest-climbing cat
“When I saw this bundle, I was so pissed off because I’d already bought the four guides individually. Then I realized I could still buy the bundle, so I did! You should too! It has changed my life somehow!”
-Some rich dick (thank you by the way)
“Well shoot, if you’re still reading down this far into the description, you’re probably not going to buy this, are you? You know, your friends told me they didn’t think you were cool enough to go for this. I guess they were right. They’re always right about you. Why don’t you ever do anything spontaneous? Why don’t you just go crazy, and like, buy some random ebook bundle? That would show them! That would show them all! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!”
-Charlemagne Goodwriter, “Author”
You’d better act now, because there’s a very limited supply of these bundles, and that’s the truth. We actually only made one copy! Then we uploaded that one file to every major ebook marketplace, and when they run out of files, they’re done! It could happen any minute. It could be happening right now. Go! Quick! Don’t bother explaining how transferring files over the internet works, it’s over our heads. Just money us! Please? ;)
As with all BABU (Building A Better yoU) guide books, this is for entertainment and not education. Any actual facts or solutions found in this guide are completely coincidental and everything should be taken with good humor and a grain of salt. All user testimonials have been fictionalized to protect the author.
- BABU Guides
- Publication date:
- Sold by:
- Barnes & Noble
- NOOK Book
- File size:
- 1 MB
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