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The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies and Bullying: A Complete Guide for Teachers and Parents


Forty percent of U.S. students voluntarily report being involved in bullying — as bullies or as victims — according to the results of the first national survey on this subject. Bullying is increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide. Case studies of the shooting at Columbine High School and other U.S. schools trace the multiple murders to bullying incidents.

In a survey of 558 students in a Midwestern middle school, 80 ...

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Forty percent of U.S. students voluntarily report being involved in bullying — as bullies or as victims — according to the results of the first national survey on this subject. Bullying is increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide. Case studies of the shooting at Columbine High School and other U.S. schools trace the multiple murders to bullying incidents.

In a survey of 558 students in a Midwestern middle school, 80 percent of the students had engaged in bullying behavior during the previous 30 days, verbally or in cyberspace by teasing, name calling, spreading malicious rumors, ridiculing, and leaving students out of social activities deliberately, or even physically by damaging belongings, aggression, extortion, beating, and use of deadly force.

Given that most bullying goes unnoticed and unreported, Americans have been slow to react to this behavior that is taking over our schools. Other countries deal with mean people while, in the United States, take-charge insolence, no matter how threatening, is rewarded in schools, in business, in sports, and in everyday life. Often those who stand up to a bully suffer retribution so that their only defense seems to be to turn to violence themselves.

School is a prime location for bullying, and its effects can last a lifetime. Bullying is one of the most underrated and enduring problems in schools today and is a reality in the lives of all children, whether they are bullies, victims, or witnesses.

In this book, you will learn why bullying occurs and get at the root causes for it, why some children are victimized and why others are vicious, how to develop an anti-bullying policy, how students, parents, and teachers can work together to stop it before it goes too far. You will learn about cyber bullying, racist bullying, sexist bullying, phone or note bullying, gang bullying, teacher bullying, and sports bullying. You will know how to evaluate the bullying problem in your school, develop anger management and conflict resolution skills, develop awareness of the problem, learn victim role playing and assertiveness training, and how to provide better supervision of key areas of the school where bullying often occurs.

All children deserve the right to go to school free of intimidation. Help make your school bully-free by using the information contained in this groundbreaking new book. If you are interested in learning essentially everything there is to know about stopping bullies and bullying, then this book is for you.

Atlantic Publishing is a small, independent publishing company based in Ocala, Florida. Founded over twenty years ago in the company president’s garage, Atlantic Publishing has grown to become a renowned resource for non-fiction books. Today, over 450 titles are in print covering subjects such as small business, healthy living, management, finance, careers, and real estate. Atlantic Publishing prides itself on producing award winning, high-quality manuals that give readers up-to-date, pertinent information, real-world examples, and case studies with expert advice.  Every book has resources, contact information, and web sites of the products or companies discussed.

This Atlantic Publishing eBook was professionally written, edited, fact checked, proofed and designed. The print version of this book is 288 pages and you receive exactly the same content. Over the years our books have won dozens of book awards for content, cover design and interior design including the prestigious Benjamin Franklin award for excellence in publishing. We are proud of the high quality of our books and hope you will enjoy this eBook version.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781601380210
  • Publisher: Atlantic Publishing Group Inc.
  • Publication date: 3/29/2008
  • Pages: 288
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Table of Contents

Dedication     10
Introduction     11
The Bully, The Bullied, and the "Innocent Bystander"     17
Defining Bullying Behavior     19
Introduction     19
Myths About Bullying     24
Cyberbullying     25
Teasing and Bullying     29
Conclusion     32
The Price of Bullying     35
Introduction     35
The Price Paid By the Bully     39
The Effects of Being Bullied, Then and Now     48
The Price Paid By the Bystander     56
The Price Paid By the Parents     58
Conclusion     62
Waving the Red Flags     63
Introduction     63
The Bullied Child: Seeing the Red Flags     67
The Bully: Seeing the Red Flags     71
Mean Girls     75
The Bystanders: Seeing the Red Flags     81
Conclusion     83
The Silent Assault     85
Introduction     85
Conclusion     98
Forensic Profiles of Bullies and Their Victims     101
Who Are They?     103
Introduction     103
The Forensic Profile of a Bully     105
The Forensic Profile of a Victim     110
The Forensic Profile of a Bystander     114
Conclusion     119
Myth-Busting: The Truth Behind Bullying     121
Introduction     121
Myth Busting     122
Conclusion     130
Solutions for Parents, Teachers, Victims, and Bystanders     133
Creating Bully-Proof Children and Bully-Busting in Your Home     135
Introduction     135
Talk About the Hippo     145
Empowering Bystanders     146
Bully-Proofing Your Child: The Lowdown     152
Bullying on the School Bus     156
Dealing Directly with Bullies and their Parents     159
What if Your Child is the Bully?     163
Punishment     165
Discipline     165
Creating Zero Tolerance for School Bullying     177
Introduction     177
Olweus's Suggestions at the School Level     179
A British Model to Prevent Bullying     183
An Early Bullying Intervention Model     191
School, Community, and Home Education About Bullying     196
Creating Caring in Schools     200
The Supreme Court Speaks      204
Six Hours a Day     205
Program Evaluation     207
Bullying and the Law     213
Introduction     213
In Loco Parentis     216
A Closer Look at the Juvenile Justice System and Bullying     218
Administration     226
Negligence Defined     227
Stalking as a Form of Bullying     231
Hate Crimes and Bullying     235
Bullying and Gangs     241
Bullying as Legally Actionable Behavior     248
Conclusion     250
Conclusion     253
References     257
Appendix     261
A Student's Anti-Bullying Pledge     261
A Teacher's Anti-Bullying Pledge     263
A Parent's Anti-Bullying Pledge     265
A Safety Checklist for Schools, Homes, and Communities     267
Author Biography     271
Glossary     273
Index     279
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Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 5, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Desk Manual on Bullying

    Who would think we would need a book about bullying and stopping bullies from antagonizing our kids? With bullies and mean girls in schools, playgrounds and neighborhoods everywhere, this book can help you with a bully or a child who is being bullied. With this book you will learn who the bullies are, who gets bullied, what happens to kids in these situations, and what teachers and parents can do to help bullies, their victims, what red flags to look for and steps they can take to stop it.
    Learn how to help kids deal with being bullied, how to help them stop the bad behavior and prevent it from happening again. Read how to deal with a bully and nip the behavior in the bud. This book explains what causes a child to become a bully and how can you help them stop being a bully. Schools and staff can learn what specific steps they can take to curb this problem and help prevent it from happening over and over again. How long can a child be bullied before they snap?
    This is an important book that covers every aspect of bullying, a desk manual for parents, teachers or anyone dealing with kids who are bullied or who are doing the bullying.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 22, 2009

    Bullies Beware: This Author has your Number!

    I found this book to be extremely informative and useful; not just for teachers and parents but for students as well. Well written and easy to follow; the author gives examples in each segment such as the difference between bullying and teasing, cyberbullying, and red flags to watch for.
    There are specific situations given, such as bullying at school and bullies on the bus, as well as concrete solutions to each situation: what the parent or teacher should do and what the victims should say. This book also delves into adult stalking, gangs and hate crimes as forms of bullying and gives a "Safety Checklist" for the reader to easily assimilate the information into everyday practice.
    A must have for every educator, and a great book for the parent of a bully or victim.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 12, 2008

    A reviewer

    After reading Margaret Kohut¿s, The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying I feel awakened to a new wave of crime in the form of bullying. Its poignant excerpts serve as a reminder of how ignoring the danger that bully¿s pose all too often bring only tragedy and death to our doorstep. Inside its pages is a detailed explanation of how bullying occurs, what to look for, and how to prevent it. Having read this book I now feel better prepared to protect my own children, as well as how to stay vigilant against bullying of others children.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 12, 2008

    If you think bullying starts in school and ends there. Think again.

    The Complete Guide To Understanding Controlling & Stopping Bullies & Bullying, gives a very realistic and down to earth look into the world of bullies and their victims. If you think bullying starts in school and ends there. Think again. This book gives an in depth look into what bullies are all about explaining their characteristics and why they do what they do. The world of bullies and bullying leaves behind a wake of victims. Bullying does not always start in school but at times starts in the home. This book is highly recommended for teachers, school staff, and parents. This is a very real and often times harsh world we live in. Margaret R. Kohut is brilliant in giving her in depth revelations and case studies from various therapists. This book is not for the squeamish it makes you open your eyes to the real world of kids who are bullies and are bullied and how to recognize the signs. Victims of bullying carry this trauma through to their adulthood and so do the bullies.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 21, 2007

    A Must for Anyone Working With Children

    The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling and Stopping Bullies and Bullying: A Complete Guide for Teachers and Parents by Margaret R. Kohut, MSW, is a powerful examination of an issue that is impacting every school in the world and has profoundly been felt in cities like Littleton, Colorado and Blacksburg, Virginia. More importantly, the book acknowledges that when bullying of children does occur those people often ignore it that youth are supposed to depend on for protection ¿ teachers, parents and authority figures. Yet, because a prevailing philosophy exists that bullying is a part of childhood these individuals have grown accustomed to looking the other way, which Kohurt examines in relation to numerous cases in which the students that were bullied eventually seek retaliation, causing all of society to ask ¿why?¿ This book is highly recommended reading for anyone that works with children and that is interested in altering a child¿s life so that there will be no more retaliatory acts against bullies and those that appear to support them. Kohur uses her professional experience to examine the law, case studies related to bullying, the affects of bullying on children (short and long term), as well as the teacher and parental role in addressing bullies and aiding children that are their victims.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2008

    Bullying: A Serious and Dangerous Cultural Problem

    As Margaret R. Kohut, author of The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying notes on April 6, 2007, Twenty-three-year-old Seung-Hui Cho opened fire at Virginia Tech, killing 32 students, wounding 25, and also taking his own life. An investigation of Cho¿s personal history revealed that he had suffered bullying in both middle and high school for a speech defect. On October 16, 2006, a 13-year-old Missouri girl named Megan Meier committed suicide after a neighbor¿the mother of a schoolmate, who posed online as a boy¿harassed and bullied Meier online, after initially gaining her trust. On April 20, 2000, teenagers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold¿whom Kohut included in her book¿s dedication¿entered Columbine High school with assault weapons and homemade bombs. They killed 12 classmates, a teacher, and injured 18 other students before shooting and killing themselves. Kohut opens her book by profiling two of these cases¿the Columbine and Virginia Tech Massacres¿as well as one additional case. She seems to suggest, without directly stating as such, that a history of being bullied contributed to the criminal behaviors of Cho, Harris, and Klebold. The suicide of Meier, as well as of Emmet Fralick, a fourteen-year-old who resided in Halifax, Nova Scotia, whom Kohut also mentions in her introduction, reveals other extreme and tragic potential results of bullying. Kohut¿s credentials and professional experiences as a Correction Officer in an Adult and Juvenile Maximum Security Correction Facility, a Courtroom Bailiff, Bounty Hunter, Forensic Counselor, Addiction Therapist, as well as time spent in private practice as a Social Worker, all support the case she makes for bullying as a serious and dangerous cultural problem. Kohut also successfully provides relevant data to support this assertion. In this book, she articulately, systematically, and logically paints a comprehensive picture of bullying. In the first section, she includes clear definitions and types of bullying behavior, ¿red flags¿ to look for, as well as the price that everyone involved with bullying pays. Next, she details accessible yet sophisticated forensic profiles of bullies and their victims. She also dispels relevant myths. In Section three, Kohut offers solutions for parents, teachers, victims, and bystanders. Educators and Educational Administrators, as well as parents, will find her chapter on creating zero tolerance for School Bullying extremely useful. Moreover, Kohut also briefly addresses legal aspects of bullying. She concludes with an appendix of tools¿including various ¿pledges¿ that students, teachers, parents, schools and communities can make¿which supply opportunities of applications for adults and children alike.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 20, 2007

    A reviewer

    When I was a child, I changed four schools moving from city to city. I had never seen any bullying there, though there were lots of `cool¿ guys. As a teacher now, I see no signs of bullying in the school I work, and I am happy with that. But I know it¿s a social scourge and this book is a very nice try to look deep into the issue and try to find a way-out. The book terrified me right from the beginning! It is written as a warning and keeps you attached to the problem! The book is full of CASE STUDIES, which provide lots of examples of how this or that case was handled, the aftermath and the lesson we all were taught. The author describes the methods parents and children can use to escape the burden of bullying. Making our children `bully-proof¿ is very necessary and only then we can start eradicating the bullying itself. Whether it is possible or not depends on us, the adults. My zest for the book was immense. At first, I couldn¿t stop reading it, but then my only thought was to finish it as soon as I could! From chapter to chapter, I saddened more reading of neglect, indifference, and bystanders. One thought struck me most. Why so many bullied guys committed crimes, not just injuring but KILLING people?! Is it because this offence is so hard to tolerate? I guess so. Children¿s spirits are weak and not all of them become stronger with age. That¿s why the author thinks so much depends on teachers and parents, and I fully agree with her. You know, I recall Forrest Gump¿s story¿ He was an idiot, he was bullied as well¿ But he survived! And the reasons for that were the phrases his beloved people would say: ¿Run, Forrest! Run!¿ and ¿Life is not a box of chocolates¿¿ As a final remark, I¿d like to say that this book just has to be read, even at publics meetings, to raise people¿s awareness of a terrible incident/accident we all have to get rid of! Perhaps, while you are reading this review, there¿s another case of bullying is happening in the neighborhood¿

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2007

    The Complete Guide to Bullies and Bullying

    It is time to take the blinders off and confront a problem that every school in America is struggling with. A must read for every parent and teacher, this complete guide is an eye opener. It reviews all aspects of the issue from the bullies themselves, their audience and the victim. When you are done reading this book, you will have a greater understanding of this nationwide problem. Bullies are a fact of life in every school and I believe we would be hard pressed to find a person that did not experience bullying in one form or another even if it was just witnessing it. As explained in more detail in this book, the consequences of bullying can be devastating and we as a society are paying the consequences not only with school shootings and teenage suicides, but with bullies that have turned into adult criminals. Teenage bullying can also lead to workplace bullies in the future. Witnesses to bullying behavior and bully victims suffer the consequences of the tormenter for the rest of their lives. As explained in this guide, bystanders and victims may develop self-esteem issues as they grow older. They never fully get over the effects of the bully. When reading this book, it brought back the memories of my school days and made me understand what my kids may be going through today. Schools always preach about bringing the bullying activity out in the open, but this book explains why this is so important. It will also give you strategies to recognize if your child is suffering and explain how you can help them. Bullying has always been kept quit, it is time to shout about it through the rafters and shine a light on this problem. Share this guide with every parent and teacher spread the word and increase everyone¿s understanding.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 14, 2007

    A reviewer

    Bullying is on the rise in our nation¿s schools, yet little has been published about how to deal with it. That is, until now. ¿The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling and Stopping Bullies & Bullying¿ gives parents and teachers a tool to tackle the issue. In a no-nonsense and straightforward manner, the author identifies warning signs ¿ ¿red flags¿ ¿ of both the bully and the bullied. Included is a section for parents on solutions, such as how to create ¿bully-proof¿ kids and ¿bully-busting¿ in your home. For school administrators, a chapter is devoted to the law regarding bullying. And for everyone who is or may be affected by bullying, this book provides template ¿anti-bully pledges¿ in an appendix, as well as safety checklists ¿ real musts for meeting this challenge in the real world.

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