The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire: Red-Hot Strategies to Boost Your Desire

by Judy Ford MSW, LCSW, Rachel Greene Baldino MSW, LCSW

Overview

Staying focused on one of life’s greatest pleasures ...

From setting the stage and setting aside “sex time” to natural and chemical stimulants and enchancers to a wide variety of mechanical and visual erotic aids, this guide offers expert advice from two noted sex therapists. It helps couples overcome busy schedules, fatigue, and distractions—and keep sexual desire not only alive and well but charged with total satisfaction.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781440626333
Publisher:	DK
Publication date:	12/04/2007
Series:	COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE Series
Sold by:	Penguin Group
Format:	eBook
Pages:	272
File size:	766 KB

About the Author

Judy Ford, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and bestselling author who specializes in romantic and familial relationships. Some of her books include Every Day Love: The Delicate Art of Caring for Each Other, Wonderful Ways to Be a Family, Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled, and Independent, and Getting Over Getting Mad: Positive Ways to Manage Anger in Your Most Important Relationships. Articles about her work have been published in Glamour, Cosmopolitan, O, the Oprah Magazine, and many other publications. Ford keeps a regular speaking schedule in addition to her psychotherapy practice.

Rachel Greene Baldino, MSW, LCSW, writes a relationship column for the health and wellness website SixWise.com. She is the coauthor of Success as a Foster Parent: Everything You Need to Know About Foster Care and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, and the author of the ebook Loving Simply: Eliminating Drama from Your Intimate Relationships.

Table of Contents

Let's Talk About Sex     1
Stages of Love     3
It's an Ever Changing Landscape     3
The Honeymoon Stage     5
The Bonding or "Welcome to Reality" Stage     6
The Conflict or "Power Struggle" Stage     8
The Individuation and Reunification Stage     13
The Unconditional Love and Acceptance Stage     14
The Link Between Sex and Intimacy     17
Just Between Us     18
Sexual Chemistry     19
The Generous Gesture     20
Being Lovers and Friends     21
Expressing Your Sexual Self     21
Crossing the Communication Divide     22
The Power of Empathy     23
Common Ground and Compromise     24
Commitment to the Goal     24
Practical Communication Tips     25
Are You Listening?     25
Everyone Loves a Flirt     21
Let Your Fingers Do the Talking     28
Handling Disagreements Effectively     29
Take Five     29
Stay Focused     30
Compromise and Be Respectful     30
The Many Roles of Sex in Your Life     35
Let's Play!     36
Bedroom Antics     37
Just Have Fun with It     37
Dance with Me     38
Remember When     39
Anticipation and Sex     42
Reward Yourselves     43
Sexual Stress Relief     44
An Emotional Release     45
Setting the Stage     45
Let's Touch     46
Energy and Hormones     46
Your Connecting Point     48
Nonsexual Stress Relief     48
Walking     49
Deep Breathing     49
Hobbies     49
Treating Yourself     49
Escaping     49
Vacations     50
Routines and Rituals     50
Meditating and Visualization     50
Source of Rejuvenation     51
A Creative Outlet     52
The Great Distracter     53
Ultimate Solace     53
Spiritual Connections     54
Moments of Transcendence     54
Time Out of Time     54
The Here and Now     55
A Self-Esteem Booster     55
Your Safe Haven     56
All the World's a Stage     57
Dropping Your Guard     57
No Need to Be Shy     58
The Power of Love     58
Getting In Touch with Your Sensuality     59
Physical Turn-Ons     61
Rediscovering Your Sexuality Together     62
Public and Private Displays of Affection     63
Tantalizing Talk     64
Deep Talk Versus Hot Sex     64
The Sorbet Rule     65
Getting In The Mood for Love     66
Dressing the Part     67
Sexy Mainstream Movies     67
Erotic Reading Material     68
Pornography     69
Hot Sex For Committed Couples     70
We All Contain Multitudes     71
Naughty and Nice     73
The Art of Seduction     74
Your Partner's Pleasure Is Your Pleasure     75
Erogenous Zones     75
Take Some Initiative!     76
Senses for Sex     76
What You See Is What You Get     76
Sounds Like Love     77
Scent of a Partner     78
Touch Me, of Course!     79
That Tastes Good     80
Talk to Me, Baby     81
An Occasional Change of Scenery      82
Anytime Is a Good Time     82
Tantric Sex     83
The Latest Scientific Research     84
Arousing Findings     84
What Women Want     85
Emotional Turn-Ons     89
The Building Blocks of Love     90
The Ultimate Emotional Turn-On     92
Your Personal Intimacy Style     93
Universal Emotional Turn-Ons     94
Calvin and Alice     95
Making Babies     96
It's the Journey, Not the Destination     96
Actions Speak Louder Than Words     97
Expressing Appreciation     98
The Domino Effect     99
Past Sexual Experiences     99
Trouble in Paradise     100
Taking "the Long View"     102
Feeling Sexy     105
Get Comfortable with Yourself     106
Skin Is In     106
Sexy at Any Age     106
Turning Lemons Into Lemonade     110
Self-Acceptance     113
Those Voices in Your Head     114
Your Voice of Sexual Desire     116
Open-Minded And Open-Hearted     117
Blame Is Lame     117
Avoid Negative Terminology      118
"Absolutely," Not!     118
Don't "Should" All Over Yourself     119
The Sky Is Not Falling     119
Low Expectations     119
Quit Complaining!     120
Mirror Meditation     120
Media Mistruths     121
Perfect Body Image     122
They're Not So Perfect After All     122
Reality Is Not the Movies     123
Sexy, Sensual, and Healthy Living Habits     124
The Sensualist's Approach to Living     126
Sexual Desire and Comfort Food     127
Sexy Food Habits     128
Meal Time     128
Love Bites     129
Mindful Beverage Consumption     130
Preparing Sexy Meals Together     130
Almighty Exercise     131
Get Your Heart Pumping     131
Flex Your Muscles     132
Stretch for Sex     133
Good Slumber Makes for Great Sex     133
Your Personal Space     135
Prioritizing Your Relationship     137
Couple Time     139
What Is Couple Time and Why You Need It     140
Don't Let Life Get in the Way     140
Be More Than Just Ships Passing in the Night     140
How to Get and Stay Connected     142
Keep In Touch     142
Get Back in the Sex Habit     143
Accentuate the Positive     143
Simplify and "Sexify" Your Lives     145
Pare Down to Pair Up     145
Housework Never Felt This Good!     146
Relax Together for Better Sex     146
Be Fully Present     147
Make Your Bedroom Your Getaway     147
Turn Off the Phone, and Turn On the Passion     148
Sexy Ways to Shift Gears and Decompress     148
When Couple Time Turns into Family Time     149
It's a Date!     150
Scheduling Date Nights     150
Spontaneous Date Nights     151
How You Like It     152
Getting a Babysitter     152
Doing Couple Hobbies and Activities Together     153
Family Time     155
No Children of Your Own     156
Waiting to Have Children     156
Taking the Plunge     157
The Infant, Toddler, and Preschooler Years     157
Post-Delivery Sex Drive     157
Your Affections     161
Emotional Turn-Ons of New Parenthood      162
The Elementary School Years     162
The Preteen and Teen Years     163
The Challenges of Teenagers     164
The Pluses of Teenagers     165
The Empty-Nest Years     166
Menopause Myths     166
More Time For What You Want     167
Pleasant Surprises     168
A Loving Family Home     169
Promising Research on Arousal     170
Keep Communication Heartfelt     171
Flexibility Is Key     171
Practical Tips for New Parents     172
Knocking and Noise     172
Tag-Team Parenting     173
Babysitting Options     173
Remember Your Social Life     174
The Remedy for Child-Centered Households     174
Achieving the Ultimate Blend     175
Work Time     177
The Human Need for Love and Work     178
Supporting Each Other's Careers and Dreams     178
Inspiring Each Other's Best Work     180
Career Change Is Inevitable     182
Blurred Lines Between Work and Home     182
When Both Partners Work at Home     184
When Partners Are Colleagues     185
How Work Interferes with Love     187
Work Burnout     187
When Work Is Your Whole Identity     189
Being a Workaholic     190
Sexual Teamwork     193
Creating a Sexual Partnership     194
The Three Ts of Sexual Teamwork     194
Time     195
Talk     195
Touch     196
Being a Sexual Team Player     198
It's Funny What Turns You Both On     199
Sexual Fantasies and Scenarios     199
Have Enthusiasm for Sex     200
Sex Codes and Signals     201
Take Control of Your Sexual Desire     202
A "Beginner's Mind" Approach     203
Quality, Not Quantity     203
Avoid Comparisons     204
Keep Sex Front and Center     205
Take Your Time     205
When You Don't Have Time     206
Have Reasonable Expectations     207
"A Quickie" Review     207
Be a Team for Sex     207
Help for a Struggling Sexual Team     209
Appendixes
Bibliography and Resources for Further Reading     211
The Case of Low or No Sexual Desire     215
Index      235