The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns (PagePerfect NOOK Book) [NOOK Book]


Being a single mother isn't easy-but with The Complete Single Mother, Third Edition, it just got easier. Long the most popular source of encouragement and advice for single moms, this engaging, enlightening guide explores such important issues as:
  • Finances
  • Dealing with the absent father
  • Custody
  • Dating and remarriage
With a new chapter ...
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The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns (PagePerfect NOOK Book)

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Being a single mother isn't easy-but with The Complete Single Mother, Third Edition, it just got easier. Long the most popular source of encouragement and advice for single moms, this engaging, enlightening guide explores such important issues as:
  • Finances
  • Dealing with the absent father
  • Custody
  • Dating and remarriage
With a new chapter devoted to children with special needs, as well as inspirational sidebars about famous single mothers, this updated classic is the supportive, one-stop handbook you'll turn to again and again!

The Complete Single Mother is written by the founder of the National Organization of Single Mothers and a psychologist with extensive experience working with single parent families.

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Editorial Reviews

American Baby Magazine
Written by the founder and director of the National Organization of Single Mothers, this comprehensive guide explains what nearly ten million American single mothers need to know to overcome the challenges of daily life with dignity, wisdom, and courage. "Provides a world of support for women who often feel alone."
Library Journal
With more than nine million American women raising children alone by choice or out of necessity, it is surprising that most books on pregnancy and parenting still assume that the two-parent family is the norm. These two manuals written by single mothers offer useful, practical advice for women raising children alone. They include information on medical care, financial management, legal matters, career planning, social life, support networks, and dealing with family members. The Tippinses' book deals only with pregnancy and the baby's first year. It is organized chronologically by pregnancy trimester so that women can be prepared for the child's arrival. It includes sample agreements for women using sperm donors and co-parenting agreements, as well as a bibliography and resource list. The budget-planning advice is excellent. Engber and Klungness, writing in the tone of self-help books, cover the same topics, but they place more emphasis on the mother's self-esteem and other psychosocial issues. They also include child-development and parenting information about older children as well as a bibliography and resource list. Both books are more comprehensive than Jane Mattes's Single Mother by Choice (Times Bks., 1994) and Caryl Walker Kruger's Single with Children (Abingdon, 1993). They are highly recommended for all parenting collections.Barbara M. Bibel, Oakland P.L., Cal.
Mary Carroll
"Traditional family" fanatics will hate this book, in which columnist Engber--founder of the National Organization of Single Mothers and "SingleMOTHER" newsletter--and psychologist Klungness offer other single moms some 400 pages of encouraging, practical advice on meeting the challenges of parenting without partners. In part 1, Engber and Klungness look at the various ways women "become" single mothers--through divorce, widowhood, adoption, donor insemination, or pregnancy outside marriage--and the special demands of each situation. In part 2, the authors focus on how single moms can handle pregnancy and birth, maintaining a household and maintaining their self-esteem alone, and in part 3, they talk turkey about the day-to-day difficulties of "raising terrific kids." They address in part 4 relations "outside" the family unit: with a supportive (or not-so-supportive) ex; with relatives and ex-relatives; with friends, other single moms, coworkers, "dates," and new partners. Full of helpful sidebars--checklists, do's and don'ts, tips on dealing with everyone from nosy neighbors to public agencies--and answers to questions from readers of Engber's newsletter and column, it belongs in most libraries.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781440518072
  • Publisher: F+W Media
  • Publication date: 3/8/2006
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 480
  • File size: 4 MB

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xv
Introduction xvii
Part 1 By Choice or Circumstance: How Did You Get Here?
Chapter 1 The Changing Face of the American Family 3
The Loss of the Tribe
The Divorced Parent as Victim
The Unmarried Mother as Villain
Giving up the Victim Attitude
Choosing to Become the Victor
The Heroic Goddess
Defining Family
Single Moms Are Number One
Single Mothers Are Older and Wiser
Single Parenting Is Here to Stay
A Shift Toward Matriarchy
The Strengths of Single Mothers
Stamping out the Stereotypes
Single Parenting Is a Healthy Choice
The Future of Mothers Outside of Marriage
The New Single Mother--Parent of the Future
Meeting the Challenges Head On
Chapter 2 Becoming a Single Mother Through Divorce 12
If This Was Your First Marriage
Not Again!
What You May Be Feeling
Shedding the Victim Attitude
When You Can't Justify Divorce
Preparing for Divorce
How to Select an Attorney
Consider Mediation
Annulments and Gets
When He Threatens to Take the Kids
Sex with Your Soon-to-be-Ex
What to Tell Everyone
What to Tell No One
Recovering from Divorce and Growing Beyond It
How to Customize a Life Plan
Wedding Rings and Other Leftovers
Chapter 3 Becoming a Mother Outside of Marriage 30
If You're Making a Decision
If Your Mate Doesn't Share Your Feelings
"My Boyfriend Can't Make Up His Mind..."
"My Family Is Unsupportive..."
"Mr. Right (or Mr. Adequate) Hasn't Shown Up..."
If Your Internal Clock Is Ticking Fast
If Your Partner Left You
If Your Partner Has Problems
"I Got Pregnant from a Brief Affair..."
If Your Birth Control Didn't Work
Special Concern: Date Rape
If You Are in an Abusive Relationship
If Abortion Is Not an Option
Familiar Themes
Handling Your Feelings About Motherhood Outside of Marriage
Deciding on the Father's Role
Establishing Paternity
Chapter 4 Choosing Motherhood Through Donor Insemination 43
If You've Been in a Relationship
If You're Ready for Motherhood but Not Wifehood
"My Biological Clock Is Ready to Explode..."
Thinking It Out
Dealing with Discouragement
Reasons for Donor Insemination (DI)
Deciding on a Method
What to Tell People
Meeting the Donor
If You're in a Lesbian Relationship
Chapter 5 Choosing Motherhood Through Adoption 55
Choosing What's Right for You
Fertility Frustrations
If You Were Adopted
How to Get Started
Types of Adoption
What About the Bonding Process?
Is International Adoption Simpler than Domestic Adoption?
Transracial and Transcultural Adoption
Adopting Children with Special Needs
Legal Aspects of Private Adoption
Planning for the Costs
Adopting More Than One
Expecting the Perfect Child
Mothering a Deceased Relative's Child
Motherhood: The Second Time Around
Preparing Yourself and Others
If Something Goes Wrong
Your Adopted Child
Telling Your Child About Adoption
When Your Child Still Doesn't Know
Challenges to Expect During Your Child's School-Age Years
Chapter 6 The Widowed Mother 70
What You May Be Feeling
Warding Off the Grief Police
Facing Your Husband's Belongings
Protecting Your Children from Your Private Pain
Finding Support and Counseling
Knowing When to Release the Ghost
The Young Widow
Not Quite a Widow--Legally
Missing His Body and Touch
Getting the Help You Need
Suicidal Thoughts
When Widow Spells R-E-L-I-E-F!
Secrets and Surprises: Three Scenarios
What to Do If Your Spouse Dies Suddenly
Helping Your Children Face the Loss of Their Father
Surviving Holidays and Birthdays
Your Changing Social Life
Dating and Sex
Your First Family Venture Without Dad
Part 2 Meet Your New Partner--You!
Chapter 7 For the Mother-to-Be 91
Handling the News
The Emotional Roller Coaster
The Practical Aspects of Your Pregnancy
If Your an Older Single Mom
Preparing for Childbirth
Managing Your Labor and Delivery
Filling out the Birth Certificate
Establishing Paternity
Chapter 8 It's Me and You, Kid 118
Name That Baby!
Checklist of Must-Haves for Baby's First Year
If You Have a Cesarean
The Benefits of Breastfeeding
Worrying About Doing the Right Thing
Babyproof Your House Now!
Be Prepared for Emergencies
Helping Your Baby Learn to Sleep Through the Night
Dealing with Postpartum Depression
When the Working Mom Has a Problem with Separation
Coping with the Nighttime Blues
Thumb Sucking and Braces
When Baby Says "Da Da"
Chapter 9 Taking a Closer Look at You 131
It All Begins with Positive Self-Esteem
Cultivate Feelings of Self-Worth
Your Physical and Emotional Health
You Are Like a Warehouse--Stock Up Now!
Commit to Yourself
The Art of Prioritizing and Compromising
Increase Your Resources
Live in the Here and Now
Chapter 10 Money Matters 145
Change the Way You Look at Money
The Truth About the Three Major Money Myths
Combining Assets Doesn't Necessarily Mean Combining Hearts
You Need to Be the Decision Maker
Getting Your Financial House in Order
Increasing Your Assets
If You Need Public Assistance
Seeking Other Sources of Help
Providing for Your Children If You Should Die
Chapter 11 "Home Economics" 170
Changing Your Life Style
Facing the Fear of Homelessness
Staying or Moving?
Reasonable Rentals
Subsidized Housing
Moving In with Your Parents
Part 3 Getting the Confidence to Raise Terrific Kids
Chapter 12 Child Care 185
Those Child-care Myths
Reviewing Your Child-care Options
How to Find Child Care
Thumbs Up
Child-care Caution
The Cost of Child Care
Dealing with Separation Anxiety
Chapter 13 Parenting Those Ages and Stages 197
Your Baby
Toilet Training
Coping Tools for Dealing with Anger
It's Healthy to Be Self-Caring
Special Concern: Teaching Heritage to Bi-racial Children
Chapter 14 As Your Child Grows 216
Working with Your Child's School
Filling Out School Registration Forms
Keeping Your School-Age Child Safe
Helping Your Child Achieve Success in School
Child Care for the School-Age Child
The Teenage Years
Believe It or Not: The Teenage Years Are an Exciting Opportunity Not to Be Missed
Teenagers Need Limits: Be the Adult That You Are
When It Is Time for a Mom to Have the Big Talk
When Pets Become All Important
Chapter 15 Where's Poppa? 235
Are You Ready to Talk About Daddy?
Why the Daddy Topic Is So Scary
Mistakes to Avoid When Discussing Daddy
Why Do Children Ask the Same Questions Over and Over Again?
Should You Ever Lie?
If You Are Divorced or Separated
If You Weren't Married to Your Child's Father
If You Don't Know the Father's Identity
If Your Child Was Adopted or Conceived via Donor Insemination
If Your Child's Father Has Passed Away
Chapter 16 Mothers and Daughters 259
Preparing Your Daughter for the Future
How Big a Loss Is It Not to Have a Dad Around?
What Happens to Girls During Adolescence
Looking for Role Models
Issues About Sex
Chapter 17 Raising Boys 268
The Oedipus Complex and Other Things You Shouldn't Obsess About
When There's No Regular Male Role Model
Boys Don't Need Fathers But Do Need Men
What a Good Male Role Model Does
Where to Find Role Models
What To Do If Your Son Likes To Play Dress-up
Raising a Healthy Son
Part 4 Relating Joyfully to Others
Chapter 18 Custody and Coparenting 279
Joint Custody
Shared Physical Custody
Permanent Sole Custody
Temporary Custody
When to Determine Custody
Terminating Parental Rights
Why Fathers Seek Custody
Learn Your Rights Regarding Custody
Child Custody Blackmail
Drop-Off Centers
Exploring Coparenting
The Transition from His House to Yours
Chapter 19 Child Support 299
How to Begin
If You Need Help
When Your Feelings Threaten to Overwhelm You
Help in the Toughest Circumstances
Chapter 20 The Ex from Hell 310
If You Ex Is Out of Your Life
Those Crazy, Hazy Post-Divorce Days
Don't Shoot--Identify Him First!
The RAT (Really Always There)
Meet the MAD (Minimal Access Dad)
The Strafe Bomber
The "Back-from-the-Dead" Ex
The Cowboy
When His Family Becomes the Only Family
The Under-DOG (Under Darling's Orders to Grovel)
RUN! (Really Ugly News)
When Your Ex's Behavior with the Kids Is Upsetting
If Your Ex Poses a Threat to Your Children
Chapter 21 Dealing with Your Ex-relations 325
Fighting Rejection
How to Deal with Former Family Members
When Grandma Was Your Number-One Sitter
Facing Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Others
Holidays and Celebrations
When Your Child's Father's Family Remains a Mystery
Relating to Your Ex's New Significant Other
Sharing Discipline with Stepparents
If Your Ex Is Remarrying
You're Still the Mom
Chapter 22 Sex and Dating 335
How to Feel Less Lonely
Observe Your Sexual Feelings
Find a Creative Outlet
If Your Kids Worry That You'll Be an Old Maid
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 9 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Posted April 24, 2010

    Wonderfully insightful

    I originally found this book at a library for a research paper I was writing. I ended up buying it because the resources were so helpful. A lot of what is said is common sense, but it helps to have another spell it out. I have not been able to go through it all at this point, but refer to it often. Now that my class is done, I will have much more time to concentrate on this fabulous book. Nothing isn't covered!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 12, 2006


    This is truly a fabulous book. It is incredibly informative, readable and comprehensive. It's hard to imagine a single mother issue that is not covered. And, while it is worthwhile for both women contemplating single motherhood as well as those who are already there, I can't recall any other resource that so carefully addresses the many issues related to single-mother-to-be concerns. In addition to using it as a resource in my work as a psychologist,I will heartily recommend this book to my clients.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 9, 2006

    Single parent and special ed. teacher

    I found this book to be a valuable resource. It contains useful and practical information for single parents. The sections on exceptional children were especially relevant. As a special education teacher, I have met many single parents of children with disabilities. The information contained in the book would be invaluable for them. I highly recommend this book for all single parents.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2006

    The single mother's bible.

    This is a must for all Single Mothers,Dads too! I can't tell you how many friends , friends of friends and family members I have given a copy or refered this book to. All were very appreciative and since have done like wise. Therefore,if you have a friend who is a single parent, even if they have been one for years, it's never too late to refer them to what I lovingly call the Single Mothers Bible. The 'Do's and Don't' of single motherhood are always on the money whether you 'Did or Didn't'. So, read it, learn and relax The Complete Single Mother has got you covered.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 4, 2006

    Great Advice for Single Mother's

    As soon as I opened this book I was hooked. This book is filled with comforting advice. 'The Complete Single Mother' cover's every issue imaginable that single mother's face. Advice from single mother's to single mother's- it's frank & honest. You learn how to be a better mother and a better person.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 18, 2006

    Unique and informative

    This book gives all one needs to know about the joys and pitfalls of single motherhood. Nobody said it would be easy, but with Dr. Klungness' insightful and erudite writing it makes it all come together quite easily. Read this book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2006

    At least there's something for us...

    It's very frustrating to look for books on single parenting and find nothing but divorce survival manuals and academic text books on the sociology of a select group some yahoo wrote to get a PhD. As an educated & professional never married, I was happy to have found this book when I was expecting. I still flip through it from time to time. The authors offer sound real world advice on functioning solo and are very encouraging. No matter how we became single, it can be an intimidating and scary place at first- the guidance offered in this book takes some of the edge off.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 22, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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    Posted April 18, 2014

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