The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind: According to Relient K


In The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind, Relient K expounds on their experiences observing the opposite sex. Detailing some of the "girl types" they've encountered--like the Homecoming Queen, The Athlete, and The Overachiever--they share personal stories and biblical advice for girls of any type to become women of God.

The band's fun attitude is present throughout the book in quizzes, lists, personal stories, and more!

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The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind: According to Relient K

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In The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind, Relient K expounds on their experiences observing the opposite sex. Detailing some of the "girl types" they've encountered--like the Homecoming Queen, The Athlete, and The Overachiever--they share personal stories and biblical advice for girls of any type to become women of God.

The band's fun attitude is present throughout the book in quizzes, lists, personal stories, and more!

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780849944963
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 11/3/2004
  • Pages: 176
  • Sales rank: 777,270
  • Product dimensions: 5.46 (w) x 8.52 (h) x 0.47 (d)

Meet the Author

Relient K is a punk-influenced rock band from Canton, Ohio. When not jabbing at pop-culture stereotypes (like prevalence of cell phones, mullets, and mood rings), Relient K also exhibits deft skill in capturing life's highs and lows in songs that really hit home. The debut week sales for Two Lefts'Don't Make a Right, their latest album,were the highest in Gotee Records' 9-year history.
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Read an Excerpt

The Complex Infrastructure Known As the Female Mind

By Relient K Mark Nicholas

Transit Books

Copyright © 2007 Relient K
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-8499-4496-3

Chapter One


You know this person instantly upon sight or sound. Hearing the signature whiff whiff whiff of smooth Polyester/Lycra blend or the faint metallic clink of a dozen pant leg snaps should provide some clue. Seeing the three-stripe black or navy blue Adidas warm-up suit with the high, tightly pulled ponytail is an immediate, dead giveaway. Meet The Athlete. The Athlete participates in a minimum of three sports, usually consisting of volleyball (in the fall), basketball (in the winter), and soccer (in the spring). She may, however, participate in cross-country, swimming, and track & field. Please know that tennis and softball participants are usually not Athletes and play these sports as a hobby or on a recreational basis. Girls who play golf are never Athletes. Golf is not a sport.

Sometimes Workout Girl is mistaken for The Athlete, but they are two completely different people. The Work Out Girl drinks designer bottled water, attends Pilates class, and wears makeup when she does. She likes to wear matching workout gear and has a cute yoga mat that matches her cute yoga pants and top. She likes yoga because she doesn't have to get all sweaty and icky-and she can still look good with her makeup on. The Athlete has little patience for Work Out Girl. They have nothing in common and are not friends.

The Athlete is a high-spirited and competitive girl who likes to hang out with boys as much or more so than girls. We think that's cool. In fact, though she may enjoy hanging out with boys, The Athlete is always secretly trying to beat the boys in anything and everything. For instance, if she is mountain biking, her primary objective is, if not to keep up with the boys, to beat the boys in pedaling up a strenuous and treacherous trail. If she does, she is careful not to smirk, and she doesn't gloat but smiles to herself and basks in the glow of her victory. She loves to surpass boys in all their testosteroned glory. This is among her proudest moments and even guys seem to like a girl who can beat them at their own game. Why guys seem to be drawn to a girl who can show them up, we have no idea, but they do.

The Athlete craves the test, the competition, and the game. She is drawn to any sort of competition-like an upset child's ice cream cone is drawn to a sidewalk on a hot summer day. She is forever making a sport out of mundane things, like racing to finish lunch first, finishing her homework first, or doing pretty much anything first. The Athlete also enjoys sinking wadded notebook paper balls from long distances into trashcans. Though a bored male basketball player originally developed this particular non-sport in the mid 1960s, it has, in recent years, become quite popular with the bored female Athlete.

The Athlete is outgoing and personable and cool to be around. She is also funny and quick-witted. This might well be caused by the increased oxygen flow to her brain as she runs all over the place. However, this is just a guess, as oxygen=funniness is not a scientifically proven fact. Her funniness and fun-ness are pretty much constant, unless she has recently been defeated in a match, game, or other competitive act. If this happens, The Athlete is given over to a period of sullenness or mild depression. Don't worry. This will pass quickly because The Athlete will soon realize that there's always another act of competition to get psyched up for.

We have already touched on The Athlete's attire. It is a hard and fast rule that she prefers wearing windbreakers and other non-natural fibered clothing. You will never see her in a dress (not even at church), but she will wear a dress to prom, or so we're told. The Athlete's preferred method of hair styling is to fix her hair in a ponytail at the top and back of her head, WET, within the first 3 minutes of leaving the shower. This way there is no need for a hair dryer or any other hair device, and she can quickly get on with other competitive acts-like seeing how fast she can get dressed and out the front door on her way to school. (The Athlete's mother is always worried that her precious daughter will catch "her death of cold" because of her "wet head." The Athlete is the only type of girl to wander outside in the middle of winter with a "wet head." It is important to note that she never does catch "her death of cold.")

We should also mention that, although many Athletes attempt this fashion faux pas, the sports bra is not a Relient K-approved top to be worn out in public by The Athlete. It should be worn in conjunction with and under an approved shirt, like a Relient K hooded sweatshirt, which is a smart accessory for any soccer practice. Unless you are Brandi Chastain and have just won the 1999 Women's World Cup in soccer, there are no exemptions to this rule.

The Athlete always wears a rubber sports watch. It's always the kind that can go underwater to like 100 meters-'cause you never know when water polo may go DEEP. The Athlete will often use her sports watch to time herself while doing a variety of things. She always wants to see if she can beat her previous time. If there is no one else around to beat, she will always try to beat herself. Because of this, The Athlete is also a good student. She consistently will try and outdo her previous accomplishments. So don't be surprised to see The Athlete on the Honor Roll.

The Athlete is usually fairly popular. She is well known throughout the school, especially with her fellow athletes. This is fairly typical of athletes in general because they are the primary participants of spectator sports. People show up to watch them compete and thus know who they are. If she happens to be really good at one or more of her sports and lives in a smaller town, she is probably well known throughout the town. Folks at the post office or the grocery store are prone to talk about the successful Athlete and her latest game or match victory. What else is there to talk about in a small town? If she is a super good athlete and, say, wins the state title in the 1000m race, she may even be the Grand Marshal of that town's Fourth of July parade and be given the key to the city by the mayor. But that's only in a very small town. Even though most people know who she is, The Athlete usually has a smaller, close-knit circle of friends. Her friends tend to be other Athletes and that's no surprise. Of course, they might have a few friends that aren't big sports people, but no one knows The Athlete's life of working out, training, and competing like another fellow Athlete.

If you are beginning to think that The Athlete has no problems and her life is great, you are mistaken. The Athlete finds it hard to communicate her true feelings to others around her. Other people see her for what she most obviously is and that is The Athlete-the confident, outgoing, talented, sports-loving person and those are the things that most people relate to her about. Even with her fellow athletes, sports are the dominant theme of any conversation. But there is a whole other side to her that goes unnoticed. The Athlete wishes she fit in better with the girls and that boys see her more as a girl than a buddy. Guys tend to like to hang around The Athlete and think of her as more of a brother than as a girl. While she likes the challenge of competing with the boys, in her heart she would much rather be considered a girl (lady) who the boys like and find attractive and mysterious, instead of getting punched in the arm by them. And she feels that she is at some distance from other girls, too. Most non-Athlete girls don't identify much with all the sports and sweat and stuff that are so much a part of her life. It takes a lot of work for The Athlete and the non-athlete girl to find some common ground and to become friends. She can become trapped in a world of sports, and The Athlete has a hard time communicating her true feelings.

The Athlete likes church just fine, and especially the monthly youth group outings to play miniature golf, go cart racing, or bowling. This means competition. Since there is always an abundance of pizza at youth group functions, she may bring her own brown bag meal complete with energy bars and sports drink. Pizza slows her down and makes her feel sluggish. She doesn't like that feeling, as she never knows when she will need to be up and ready for a footrace (against a boy) in the parking lot. She does, however, have to give in once in a while for the occasional slice ... because as we all know, "everybody loves pizza." It almost goes without saying that her favorite Bible verse is "run the race to win" (1 Corinthians 9:24). She tends to make that her life's goal and ambition. She also loves the FCA meetings at school and may even be the president.

5 Clues that you might be The Athlete:

1. You own one dress that your mom made you buy for your cousin's wedding.

2. You stop by the gas station every morning before school to pick up some Gatorade and Powerbars.

3. Your wristwatch has a stopwatch and heart rate monitor and is waterproof.

4. You don't own any shirts with buttons.

5. You have never used a fake doctor's excuse or note from your parent to get out of gym class.

WHAT WOULD YOU FIND IN HER LOCKER? Cleats, an old ace bandage, athletic tape (but no pre-wrap 'cause pre-wrap is for wusses), gym bag, picture of Mia Hamm, empty water bottles FAVORITE MAGAZINES: SI, Basketball Digest, Runner's World

EMAIL SIGNATURE: "Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." -Mahatma Gandhi

FAVORITE MOVIE: Bend It Like Beckham

FAVORITE MUSIC: Melanie C (aka Sporty Spice's sad solo career), Jock Jams, The Chicago Bulls' theme song TV CHANNEL OR SHOW: ESPN Sports Center


SHOES: New Balance Cross trainers



Probable Nicknames: Killer or Spike

AFTER SCHOOL JOB: Practice, practice, practice

CLOTHING LABEL: Tie between Adidas and Nike

MAKEUP: no DID YOU KNOW ...? She sleeps in her uniform before a big game for good luck. (And guess who doesn't wash her socks for the same reason?)

Brian Pittman on THE ATHLETE:

I knew this girl named Julia. Once we hit junior high, Julia started to stand out. I was just glad to finally make it up to what seemed like the real world. People started to develop their own personalities. A lot of the girls were out buying all the latest clothes, but she seemed to be very comfortable in her sweatpants, proudly wearing her basketball #22 jersey wherever possible. As the year went on, she was always the one to wear the school colors and she never seemed to run out of Perry High School clothes. With each season came a new sport, and Julia seemed to love every single one of them. I got to know her through the years, and I run into her at home every once in a while. Last time I saw her she was wearing her senior basketball hooded sweatshirt and black sweatpants. I was glad to see she was still at it.


Excerpted from The Complex Infrastructure Known As the Female Mind by Relient K Mark Nicholas Copyright © 2007 by Relient K. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents


Kick Off: Introduction....................vii
Nancy Drew and Girls Like You: Girl Types....................1
The Athlete....................3
The Rock Chick....................11
The Diva....................19
The Homecoming Queen....................25
The Mathlete....................33
The Overachiever....................41
The Poet....................47
First Chair....................55
The Drama Queen....................63
The Airhead....................73
The Girlfriend....................81
Vanilla Pudding....................89
I Am Understood?: Boy Types....................97
The Ape....................101
Mr. Wonderful....................109
Instruction Manual: How to Deal With a Guy....................113
When You're Around: Relationships....................119
Time Bombs: Girl Relationships....................121
Chap Stick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry: Boy + Girl Relationships....................145
Getting Into You: Conclusion....................159
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Sort by: Showing all of 13 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 17, 2012


    He starts towards camp.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 6, 2012


    Cool. Should we go back?

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 5, 2012

    The others

    Pepperkit and rosekit pad in nervouy

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2012

    When I first heard that Relient K had written a book, I knew I h

    When I first heard that Relient K had written a book, I knew I had to buy it, but I was skeptical as to how good it actually would be. After all, they are amazing when it comes to writing songs, but most of their songs take a lot of listening to to really understand just what's being said.

    My mind completely changed when I read the book. I absolutely loved it! I passed it around to all of my friends and we all spent a good deal of time debating just what type of girl each of us were!

    Leave it to a group of guys to write a very acccurate guide to the female mind. I am actually about to buy a second copy of it, I loved it that much. It's worth every penny!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 29, 2007

    Pretty rad

    Wow. Wow... these boys are so witty & they don't even have to try to capture your attention because you're hooked from the first page--really. Girls know a lot about their species, but I don't think I realized everything about us & just how strange we are. Relient K did an absolutley spectacular job of keeping their words light but informative, silly but serious, kind but suggesting--I know they hit the target with this book because it was easy to read & understand, as well as keep the reader aware of themself & wanting to better understand who they are. Great job, boys I would absolutely love for them to go for it again.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2007


    im so gonna read this book, altho its not from 'chap stick, chapped lips and things like chemistry' its from 'mood rings'

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 4, 2006

    relient K rox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    havent read it yet but just noticed the title as a line in the song of 'chap stick, chapped lips, and things like chemistry' by relient K im sooooooooooo gonna read this!!!!!!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2006


    It was amazing! That's about it. It gave awesome insight into the world of girls and helped me understand them all the more. I also think that the advice they gave to both genders seems very useful. I would say, go, buy, and enjoy, as of 5 minutes ago.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2005

    Just as amazing as their music!

    This book gives a great outlook on life, girls, guys, and relationships. All the while, the RK guys are funny and share some great experiences of their own. This book really kept me laughing, and helped to instore my faith in God. You should definetely run out and buy this book, NOW.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2005

    The RK Boys...Defintely Enjoyable!

    To attempt such a feat - describing the complex infrastructure, well, you know the rest - is certainly worthy of some credit: these rockers turned writers don't sacrifice their tongue in cheek wit (no pun intended) or their romantic observations. Indeed, their style reads more like an extended magazine article than a nonfiction novel, thank goodness for us! Interesting titles, a realistic approach, and honest writing contribute to a good ol' quick afternoon read, certainly one with a Christian tone. One may flounder midway through, wondering where this infrastructure leads, but in the end, a neat moral ending tidies up the package. Though mainly written for the teenage female, any guy could easily get a laugh or two out of RK's own statements on male-dom. The messages and advice are applicable, making their first appearance on the writing scene memorable.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 16, 2004

    A really good book!

    This book is one of the year¿s most interesting, informative, and readable books. And with a title like The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind, you just can¿t go wrong. The Relient K boys¿ clever writing style and fun personalities transfer well into book form. With the help of author Mark Nicholas, Relient K provides their observations about girls-their types and their habits- and boys-their types and how they respond to girls. This book helps girls get an idea of what is going on in the minds of boys but it is also helpful to boys, by giving them some insight into The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind. This is a great book for anyone who is single- especially teenagers.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 2, 2004

    As Good as Relient K's Music!!!

    this is a simply amazing book for guys and girls alike. at first it's wierd because some guys wrote a book about girls, but it's probably better than most girls could do and it's really fun. the band members' personalities really shine through.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 20, 2004

    The BEST darn book EVER!!!

    this is an AMAZING book! the greatest book you'll ever read. It show what guys think about girls. Even if you don't like Relient k's cd you will LOVE this book. mostly a teenager book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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