The Conscious Parent's Guide to Gender Identity: A Mindful Approach to Embracing Your Child's Authentic Self

by Darlene Tando

Overview

If your child is questioning their gender identity, you may have questions of your own. The Conscious Parent's Guide to Gender Identity helps answer those questions, providing a relationship-oriented approach to supporting your child's journey. Conscious parenting means being present with your children and taking the time to understand their point of view. Using this mindful method, you can support and guide your children as they discover their authentic selves.

With this easy-to-navigate guide, you'll learn how to...

• Communicate openly with your child about gender identity
• Empower your child to make their own decisions
• Create a welcoming environment at home
• Guide your child through social and medical transitions
• Help your child feel comfortable with friends, at school, and in your community
• Deal with others' opinions about your parenting choices
• Plan a happy, successful future for you and your child

This mindful method of parenting will allow you and your children to strengthen your bond while allowing them to be who they truly are.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781440596315
Publisher:	Adams Media
Publication date:	07/01/2016
Series:	Conscious Parenting Relationship Series
Sold by:	SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format:	eBook
Pages:	240
File size:	754 KB

About the Author

Darlene Tando, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker. She earned her Bachelors Degree in Psychology at the University of California at Santa Barbara and a Masters in Social Work at San Diego State University. She is the author of The Conscious Parent's Guide to Gender Identity.

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

Chapter 1 Conscious Parenting 15

The Benefits of Conscious Parenting 16

Giving Your Child Full Attention 19

Understanding Behavior 21

Important Points to Consider 22

Chapter 2 Gender 101 25

Gender Versus Sex 26

Gender Identity Versus Sexual Orientation 28

Gender Expression 31

We All Have a Gender Identity 32

Gender Expansiveness 35

Important Points to Consider 37

Chapter 3 Connecting to Your Child 39

Listen Carefully 40

Open Communication 42

Compassion 48

Respect 49

The Foundation of Home 50

Important Points to Consider 51

Your Unique Tightrope Walk 54

Let Your Child Teach You 54

"Blank Slate" Parenting 55

Examining Personal Biases 59

Coparenting 62

Your Child's Unique Gender Journey 66

Important Points to Consider 68

Chapter 5 Parenting the Gender-Expansive Child 71

Needs of the Gender-Expansive Child 72

Your Emotional Response 75

Society's Bias 77

Holidays and Celebrations 79

Responding to Difficult Situations 81

Friendship Challenges 82

Important Points to Consider 83

Chapter 6 Parenting the Transgender Child 85

Transgender Versus Gender-Expansive 86

Consistent! Persistent. Insistent? 88

Your Child's Heart and Brain, Revealed 92

Your Emotional Response 93

Needs of the Transgender Child 98

Their Alignment; Your Transition 98

Important Points to Consider 100

Chapter 7 Trust Yourself 101

Listen to Your Gut 102

Stay Within Yourself 104

Trust Your Child 105

Model Mindfulness 109

Important Points to Consider 111

Chapter 8 Stay in the Now 113

The Present 114

The Past Has Its Place 116

Worry/Fear for the Future 119

Getting the Most Out of the Now 120

Focus on Small Goals 122

Important Points to Consider 123

Chapter 9 Interventions 125

Observe and Affirm 126

Advocate 127

Living Life Fully: The Oxygen Example 128

Finding the Right Gender Therapist 131

On Being "Sure" 135

Transition Options 137

Social Transition 138

Medical Transition 143

Important Points to Consider 148

Chapter 10 Outside Influences 149

Coping with Difficult Responses 150

Opinions Galore 154

The Truth 156

Disclosure 160

Private Versus Secret 163

Important Points to Consider 167

Chapter 11 Siblings and Extended Family 169

Take Them for Ice Cream 170

Honoring a Siblings Process 171

Handling Expressions of Concern .174

Setting Boundaries with Love. 175

Pronouns 177

Important Points to Consider 179

Chapter 12 Helping Your Gender-Expansive Child with Teasing 181

Teasing Versus Bullying 182

Coaching Your Child 185

Supporting and Empowering 187

Equipping Your Child 188

Important Points to Consider 191

Chapter 13 School 193

Advocating for Your Child 194

The Gender Climate 196

Legalities and Other Logistics to Consider 200

Important Points to Consider 203

Chapter 14 Dysphoria 205

Body Dysphoria 206

Social Dysphoria 207

Don't Poke the Dysphoria Monster 208

Overlap with Anxiety/Depression 211

Autism and Gender Dysphoria 213

Important Points to Consider 214

Chapter 15 Coping and Self-Care 217

Coping 218

Utilize Your Strengths 220

Be Forgiving and Kind to Yourself. 221

Support and Assistance 222

Staving Connected to Others 223

Important Points to Consider 224

Appendix A Sample Letter from Parents 225

Appendix B Facets and Multiplicities of You, 228

Appendix C Spectrums 230

Appendix D Transition Worksheet 231

Appendix E Resources 232

Appendix F Classroom Rules 234

Index 235