The Conversation: How Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships

( 116 )

Overview

Watch a Video

  • Watch a video

In his first book for adults, the New York Times bestselling author sparks honest dialogues between men and women, in the tradition of Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

Only 34 percent of African-American children today are raised in two- parent households, a sharp contrast to 1966, when 85 percent of black children were raised by two parents. In provocative but ...

See more details below
Paperback
$12.62
BN.com price
(Save 15%)$15.00 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (29) from $2.41   
  • New (15) from $2.94   
  • Used (14) from $2.41   
The Conversation: How Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$12.99
BN.com price

Overview

Watch a Video

  • Watch a video

In his first book for adults, the New York Times bestselling author sparks honest dialogues between men and women, in the tradition of Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

Only 34 percent of African-American children today are raised in two- parent households, a sharp contrast to 1966, when 85 percent of black children were raised by two parents. In provocative but heartfelt words, Hill Harper takes on these urgent challenges, bringing a variety of issues out of the shadows. In The Conversation, Harper speaks to women and men with clear-eyed perspective, covering topics such as:

•The roots of the breakdown in the black family

•The myth that there are no mature, single, black male professionals

•What women can do to alleviate the "heaviness" they sometimes attach to dating

•What men can do to break the cycle of being a player

•The difference between sex and intimacy

•Bridging the communication gap

•Self-worth and net worth, and why you should never settle for an unworthy partner

Capturing the conversations Harper and his friends frequently have, this book is destined to be one of Harper's most healing contributions.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Hill Harper, the author of this book, wrote the bestseller Letters to a Young Brother, which won two NAACP awards and was named a Best Book for Young Adults by the American Library Association. Now, in his book for adults, he addresses the growing crisis in African-American relationships. In 1966, 85 percent of black children were raised by two parents; today only 34 percent are raised in two-parent households. Harper does not wallow in the sobering ramifications of that statistic; he attacks the problems at its roots. He writes frankly about racial myths that reinforce cynical dating attitudes among black men and women, and explains in detail how they can be neutralized. The Conversation is no bland nostrum; Harper offers specific, real-world responses to problems that African-American couples experience all too often.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781592405787
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated
  • Publication date: 9/7/2010
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 172,197
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Hill Harper

Currently starring in CSI: NY, Hill Harper has appeared in numerous prime- time television shows and feature films, including Beloved and He Got Game. He graduated magna cum laude from Brown University with a B.A. and cum laude from Harvard Law School. He also holds a master’s degree in public administration from the Kennedy School of Government. He was recently named one of People magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Crisis of Our Shared Destiny xiii

Part 1 The Conversation Begins

1 Man in the Mirror 3

2 What We Say, Mean, and Do 15

Letters from Don and Robin 23

3 He Say/She Say: Who's to Blame 32

4 What Brothers Want 42

Men Speak I 52

5 What Sisters Want 62

Sisters' Soiree Chat I 65

Part 2 Mr. and Mrs. Butta Worth

6 Will Mr. Right Please Stand Up? 75

7 The Language of Men 82

Nagging 85

Fishing for Compliments 86

Dropping Hints 87

8 Checking Baggage: The Lightness of Being 95

9 Status vs. Potential: Looking at the Obamas 102

Part 3 Trying Not to Sleep in the Bed You Made

10 Commit-Men-t 111

Men Speak II 114

11 Eros vs. Sex/Lust vs. Love 119

Premarital Sex 127

Contraception 128

Sexual Experimentation and Compatibility 131

Porn 132

12 Cheating: Reindeer Games 136

Men Speak III 145

13 Complicating Matters 149

Dating a Divorcé 150

Dating with Kids 152

14 Going, Going, Gone: Crossing the Color Line 158

Sisters' Soiree Chat II 166

Men Speak IV 175

Part 4 Pulling Up the Roots

15 E-Race-ing the Rules 181

16 Mad Money 188

17 Anger, Forgiveness, and Learning to Let Go 196

Men Speak V: Marriage from a Man's Perspective 202

Part 5 The Way Forward

18 The Conversation Party 211

The Morning-After Debriefing 234

19 Man Up! 236

20 Three to Be Free 246

Addendum: Conversation Questions 260

Acknowledgments 266

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 116 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(60)

4 Star

(30)

3 Star

(19)

2 Star

(4)

1 Star

(3)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 117 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 19, 2011

    Excellent!

    I enjoyed this book in its entirety! He is by NO MEANS a relationship expert, but he does offer thoughts (not suggestions) for being more open to having effective conversation. As a teacher, I often see that our children are not being taught basic social skills-communication. These children often will display inappropriate emotions and actions that are socially unacceptable. I had a senior in high school cry because someone moved her backpack across the room as a joke (this is only an example). These children often grow into adults with poor communication skills. And guess what ladies? We get to date these men (and vice versa for the men). Could you imagine dating a woman like this?

    The book almost gives you (me) confidence to ask questions that are on your mind and be open to responses from your partner. And I don't just mean intimate partnerships, I would include family and friends as well. This was the first book that I purchased for my Nook (my new boyfriend) and I could not put it down. I read the book over Christmas Break. I would often lean over to my boyfriend (the real one) and just ask a question and actually get a thoughtful response.

    The approach is the key when dealing with intimate relationships. For example: women are often light hearted when having any type of conversation with their friends-but when they have a conversation with their partner they approach it as a boring dull process. Why not, try just communicating in the same light hearted way with your partner? Don't make it mundane, confrontational, boring, meaningless, etc. Just, "hey, what do you think about.?" See how it goes. The book was great! At the end of the book he also offers "conversation questions" for a party-plan to do that this summer with some lively folk!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 10, 2009

    Loved The Conversation

    This book placed me in an optimistically cheerful mood. It was tremendously insightful. Most relationship books speak to one gender. This book spoke to both. Despite being written by a man; the book's point of view was balanced. It didn't have a masculine slant. Both men and women can appreciate this book. Every page was packed with theories, ideas, comments and thoughts that help conceptualize feelings about the opposite sex, marriage, family, and love. It was also clever of Harper to weave a tender love story in the fabric of the pages.
    I loved the Conversation.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2013

    Gut check

    Makes you consider what's important

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 21, 2012

    I am a little late reading this book as I have been out of the l

    I am a little late reading this book as I have been out of the loop when it comes to relationship books. Lets just say I lost faith in real-ationships....but this is just what I needed. An open, honest book about what we truly feel and need to discuss in relationships. I have to say that coming from an African American male, this book has the capability to touch the hearts of other races if they have an ear to hear. This is much needed in the black community and I have to say that it has caused me to change my perception of who I may entertain as company in my life in the future. Bravo and thanks to Hill Harper for opening his life and heart to us in a book that would make a great movie!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2012

    Great!

    I thought this book was honest, and enlightening. It definately made me open my eyes to some of my current and past situations and really think. I would definately recommend this book, nomatter what your race.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2012

    5.98 in store

    What's up with that!?! The book is on clearance for $5.98 in store!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 10, 2012

    Start the Conversation

    The title of this book is self explanatory and its true. Please start the conversation amongst yourselves about the personal relationships that you have. Discuss where you see it going. The author lets you into his own personal relationship with Nicholle. I think that is a good way of starting it. And then he also has questions that I actually answered some of them. I didn't post them but I wanted too. Those questions help you see where you might be already in that conversation or where you may want to go. I think we all could use some of what he says in there as just truth and a barometer of the truth.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 8, 2011

    A dose of reality for relationship seeking people.

    ...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 17, 2011

    Excited to read!

    I have not yet read this book. But I am excited to read it. So far I have not seen one negative comment. Which increases my curiousity. I like the way Hill communicates his thoughts. The lauguage he uses is easy to follow and understood. He also has a knack for chosing applicable topics.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 15, 2011

    Good read

    Although Hill Harper doesn't say anything we do not already know it was still a good read. It was great to see how all his different friends reacted to his questions. I also learned some morenthings about myself and to me that was worth the read.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 17, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    single / married must read !

    very hot,& sexy woman

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 5, 2011

    A must read.

    This book was very insightful. I now have a more positive outlook on my abililty to ignite the conversation with both men and women. I understand from a broader perspective and this book also reminded me of the power of ones words....thanks Hill.....

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 12, 2011

    A must read

    I really enjoyed this book. It offered wonderful chapters that opened the door for discussions with my husband and friends. I appreciate Mr. Harper for taking the time to write such an amazing book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 29, 2011

    WOW!!!! Phenomenal!!

    I just finished reading this book and I feel so enlightened about my new relationship. I completely understand black men and can relate to how my sisters and I play a role in building a positive relationship. This is a must read and I am planning my own Conversation Party!

    Great job HIll!!!!

    In Love and Happy Forever

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 3, 2010

    Highly Recommended- quick read

    I am in a interracial marriage and although this book is geared towards African-American marriages and relationship I believe that it fits for all backgrounds.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 4, 2010

    Excellent Book.....Good Job Hill

    When I first started reading this book I didn't know to think about it. But I continued to read and was surprise at how this story was wrote by the author to help relationships across the board. It didn't just look at relationships from one side (meaning just from the males view or the females view). It give information from both sides which was helpful and easy to understand. Another great thing I love about this book was that it wasn't trying to point out what your partner isn't doing for you but it makes you think about yourself and how you as a person can better your relationship and work with your partner as well. I would recommend this book to couples who are really trying to make their relationship work. I started reading the book first, now my partner has started reading the book as well and it has been very helpful to our communication skills together. So couples come to the table with an open mind and watch how things change in your relationship just by a new level of communication.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 27, 2010

    This was very good book. It was very well written.

    This book was and excellant read. I really appreciate how Hill Harper takes the information that he learned through his research of Black men and woman and their wants and needs and put it all together as a guide to keeping us together. I do believe that the glue that once held our black relationships together is no longer sticking because of the contents in which it is made now-a-days. We have tried to perfect what was already perfect;by changing ingredients like support, confidence, love (real Love) hearing( not just listening) to each other. Let's go back to the original recipe black people! We will be a much happier, less stressful people. Let's not forget what a joy it would be for our children to say that mommy and daddy brought me to school today; and my whole family had dinner lastnight together.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 18, 2010

    Great Book

    Informative. Great Book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 4, 2010

    A Must Read

    I bought this book a few weeks ago via Ebooks and it didnt take me along time to finish it! Hill Harper bought a few things that I didnt know about men and women to my attention. I would recommend all people read this book, married, single, divorced, etc. It will be an eye opener. He had some questions at the end of the text that are very important in building relationships!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 117 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)