The Courage to Be a Stepmom: Finding Your Place Without Losing Yourself

Overview

From her personal and professional experience as a mother, stepmother and psychotherapist, Sue Patton Thoele provides valuable nuts and bolts advice to women juggling the complex and confusing demands of the stepmother role. Sue helps women take loving care of themselves and their marriages, as they learn how to make step-mothering more manageable and enjoyable.
This revised edition was first published by Council Oak Books in 2003.
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Overview

From her personal and professional experience as a mother, stepmother and psychotherapist, Sue Patton Thoele provides valuable nuts and bolts advice to women juggling the complex and confusing demands of the stepmother role. Sue helps women take loving care of themselves and their marriages, as they learn how to make step-mothering more manageable and enjoyable.
This revised edition was first published by Council Oak Books in 2003.
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What People Are Saying

Lynne Crowder
In a candid, warm, and down-to-earth tone, Sue Thoele explains her own struggle with stepmothering and gives no-nonsense advice on how to create and nurture a healthy family while nurturing yourself, also. This is a must-read for every woman who finds herself in the stepparenting role. This is the warm hug and friendly smile that stepmothers everywhere so desperately need!
— (Lynne Crowder, Executive Director of Successful Steps, Plano, Texas)
Angela Sinclair Thacker
Sue Patton Thoele's book, The Courage to Be a Stepmom is well-written and speaks to stepmothers as not just stepmothers but as women and caretakers who need to remember to take care of themselves as well as their stepfamilies. Her book demonstrates to stepmothers not only the various stepmothering issues and coping strategies but also how to take care of their spiritual, mental, and physical well-being throughout the process. Ms. Thoele's book also cites personal experiences from her own twenty-five years of stepmothering and her book is wholesome, healing, and easy to read. I enjoyed it very much and highly recommend it to all stepmothers as well as women thinking about becoming a stepmother.
— Angela Sinclair Thacker, Founder and President of Stepmothers International, Inc. Arlington, Texas
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781482040562
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
  • Publication date: 3/7/2013
  • Pages: 314
  • Sales rank: 643,341
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.66 (d)

Table of Contents

PART 1 WHY STEPMOTHERING IS DIFFICULT
Three Strikes Before You Start
Strike 1-The "Bum Rap" of Stereotypes
Strike 2-Relationships Born of Loss
Strike 3-Just a Stepmom
Nullifying the Three Strikes
A Wild Ride
A Roller Coaster of Emotions
Pet Routines, Patterns, and Projections
Teachers of Love and Connection

PART II MAKING STEPMOTHERING MANAGEABLE AND ENJOYABLE
Taming the Expectation Tiger
The Fallacy of the Instant Family
Reasonable and Realistic Expectations
Taking it One "Step" at a Time
Antidotes for Stepmuddling
Facing and Affirming Feelings
Breaking the Worry Habit
Choosing the High Road

PART III TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
Being a True Friend to Yourself
Setting Priorities for Ourselves
Honoring Your Identity and Authenticity
Cultivating Wholeness
Setting and Sticking to Limits and Boundaries
Where Are the Boundaries?
Keeping Dad in the Loop
Shedding Servitude
Feeling Isolated and Overwhelmed
Freeing the Fixer
Moving to Higher Ground
Opening to Spaciousness
Retreating to Rest and Replenish
Sanctuary of Solitude

PART IV STRENGTHENING YOUR MARRIAGE
Marriage is for Good Friends
Conscious Commitment Is the Cornerstone
The Art of Openhearted Loving
Marriage Is for Grown-Ups
Making Time for Love and Play
Celebrating the Bond Beyond
Communication Is the Heart of Marriage
A Few Basic Skills
Three Crucial Keys-Loving, Listening, Learning
Sharing the Hard Stuff
Essentially, It's You 'n' Me

PART V EMBRACING THE KIDS
The Heart of the Matter
Adopting an Attitude of Hospitality
Mothering Our Own Children
Befriending Our Stepchildren
Complementary Mothering
Calming the Churning Waters
Guts are Great Advisors
Neutralizing the Hassles
Encountering Ordinary Chaos
Facing Extraordinary Chaos

PART VI GATHERING THE GIFTS
Blessings of Blending
Sowing Seeds of Love
Growing from Stepmother to Heart-Mother
Gleaning the Good Stuff
Stepping-Stones on the Spiritual Path
Meaning and Purpose in Life
Walking the Spiritual Path
Kiln of Kinship
Gifts Gathered on Our Way
A Mountain Parable

EPILOGUE  STEPMOTHER EMERITUS
Twenty Guidelines for Stepmoms
Notes
Acknowledgments
About the Author

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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 4, 2007

    jshapley

    The book came in great condition like promised!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 21, 2006

    depressing

    I was having a hard time with being a stepmom and hoping for some inspiration and coping tools but instead the book just reinterated that it's a really bad position for anyone to be in. Very depressing and disappointing!!!! What's the point of reading this? Luckily I've found some other ways of getting to a good space about the whole situation. Maybe I should write a book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 18, 2003

    This Book Will Save Your Marriage

    Practical advice to new stepmothers who find themselves overwhelmed and unhappy in their situation. I can't recommend this book enough, especially to a newly married woman with no children of her own. This book will give you hope, courage and inspiration!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 8, 2000

    If you are a stepmom, you must read it!

    It felt so good to go through this book's pages. Once I started reading it, I couldn´t stop, I found myself reflected within those pages... and is good to know you are not alone in this stepmothering adventure (so hard, but rewarding as well). Hopefully every stepmom could read it at early stage of their stepparenting process.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 26, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 26, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews

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