The Coward's Guide to Conflict: An Expert's Guide to Facing Conflict Head-On and Building Confidence Along the Way

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Overview

Nobody likes conflict, but you can't avoid it. Top performers just like you face problems every day. If you know how to deal with conflict well, you can turn it into your biggest opportunity for success.

The Top Performer's Guide to Conflict is your essential conflict handbook, giving you the tools you need to manage conflict and come out on...

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The Coward's Guide to Conflict: An Expert's Guide to Facing Conflict Head-On and Building Confidence Along the Way

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More About This Book

Overview

Nobody likes conflict, but you can't avoid it. Top performers just like you face problems every day. If you know how to deal with conflict well, you can turn it into your biggest opportunity for success.

The Top Performer's Guide to Conflict is your essential conflict handbook, giving you the tools you need to manage conflict and come out on top. Discover:

--Why you must know how to handle conflict
--How to recognize conflict before it happens
--The best ways to deal with difficult people
--How to build strength by overcoming problems
--Secrets to impacting and leading others
--Tools to guide you past conflict

Top performers face conflict head-on and come out on top. You are just a short read away from mastering this essential skill.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Ursiny, a mediation coach and former practicing psychologist, readily admits that he's a "coward" when it comes to any kind of conflict. He believes that there are many people like himself who wince at the thought of having an argument or avoid confronting work colleagues. Everyone, regardless of their position at work, can learn to handle conflict more effectively. The benefits, according to Ursiny, are immense and include more self-confidence, less anger, greater self-respect and more intimacy. To help readers learn how to change the way they handle conflict, each chapter opens with a brief case study. The author then uses checklists and exercises designed to teach the reader new ways to handle conflict. Ursiny is clever and readers will recognize and immediately understand his hypothetical situations. For example, the author says that people avoid exercise by focusing on the "pain" of getting up early, taking time, or not being able to sleep later or do other things they enjoy more. The motivated person, on the other hand, focuses on how much better he or she will look and feel and the positive reinforcement that other people will provide. Particularly useful is the chapter on "Avoiding the Top Ten Mistakes Made When Dealing With People." Readers will identify with the irate man whose flight has been canceled. This is a wonderfully engaging book that should easily motivate readers to rethink their behavior and conversations both at work and at home. (Mar.) Forecast: Although Ursiny may not yet be a household name, he should be. Word of mouth and national publicity should lead to strong sales. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402200557
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 2/1/2003
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 284,380
  • Product dimensions: 7.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.78 (d)

Meet the Author

Tim Ursiny, PhD, is a success coach and the author of The Confidence Plan (Sourcebooks, 2005) and The Coward's Guide to Conflict (Sourcebooks, 2003). Gary DeMoss is the author of Making the Client Connection (Dearborn, 2004) and The Financial Professional's Guide to Persuading 1 or 1,000.
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Table of Contents

Introduction

Section I: You're Not the Only One Out There Who Hates Conflict Chapter 1: Take the Coward Test Chapter 2: Seven Choices You Can Make In Conflict Chapter 3: The Top 10 Reasons People Avoid Conflict Chapter 4: Why Change?

Section II: How to Motivate Yourself to Deal with Conflict Chapter 5: The Secret for Motivating Yourself to Face Conflict Chapter 6: Confronting Your Fear One Step at a Time Chapter 7: How to Make Conflict Less Frightening-Quickly Chapter 8: How Your Integrity Can Help You Face Conflict Chapter 9: Understanding When Conflict Is Actually a Good Thing Chapter 10: Building Your Knowledge, Skills and Confidence

Section III: Common Causes of Conflict Chapter 11: We'd Be Fine if They Weren't So Different!
Chapter 12: Why People Only Think That They Are Angry (Often They're Not!)
Chapter 13: Five Ways to Listen and Why People Don't Use Them!
Chapter 14: Four Communication Patterns to Use if You Want to Keep Fighting Chapter 15: Don't Assume the Position!
Chapter 16: The Role of Selfishness Chapter 17: If Common Sense Is So Common, Then Why Don't They Have It?

Section IV: You've Got the Tools, You've Got the Talent: Techniques to Handle Any Conflict Chapter 18: The Truth and Nothing but the Truth Chapter 19: Discussing Wants, Fairness and Integrity Chapter 20: Assertiveness, Coward Style Chapter 21: Avoiding the Top 10 Mistakes Made When Dealing with Upset People Chapter 22: Talking about How You Are Talking Chapter 23: The Lesson of the Swaying Trees: Embracing Conflict Chapter 24: Putting It All Together: A Step-by-Step Approach for Dealing with Conflict

Conclusion: Is It Worth It and Can I Still Be a Coward?
Appendix Bibliography Index

Timothy E. Ursiny, Ph.D., the founder of Advantage Coaching & Training, is a success coach specializing in human behavior and achievement in life and in the workplace. He is an expert on communication skills and conflict resolution. Before becoming one of the leading personal and business coaches in the country, he was a psychologist in private practice for seven years. He lives with his family in Wheaton, Illinois.

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 21, 2004

    Insightful!

    This is a fine, short guide to managing conflict. Author Tim Ursiny particularly addresses those of you who are 'conflict cowards,' people who do not like conflict¿and who does, outside of a few well-compensated litigaters? Ursiny himself is a confessed hater of conflict. He has hated it ever since he was a child and now, even though he's an executive coach and a fairly beefy guy, he still hates it. He is also a psychologist, and his style and approach have much in common with the work of other pop psychology writers, although this guide is more useful than most. Ursiny keeps the reading light by providing ample anecdotes and he invites readers to participate through several self-examination questionnaires. He provides some clearly written, easily accessible explanations of how conflicts occur and how to manage them. In fact, he defines conflict, its consequences and even its benefits so broadly that almost anyone fits the book's target audience. You got a problem with that? We doesn't and warmly recommend this entertaining, refreshing book, which ¿ we agree ¿ has something for almost everyone who'd rather duck than fight.

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