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The Crabby Cook Cookbook: Recipes and Rants

The Crabby Cook Cookbook: Recipes and Rants

4.9 13
by Jessica Harper

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Introducing a very funny, slightly edgy, winning new kind of cookbook Jessica Harper—that Jessica Harper, star of Minority Report, Stardust Memories, Love and Death, Pennies from Heaven, and more—is a working mother of two who faces the same problems of every other woman who’s the designated home cook: How do you feed a


Introducing a very funny, slightly edgy, winning new kind of cookbook Jessica Harper—that Jessica Harper, star of Minority Report, Stardust Memories, Love and Death, Pennies from Heaven, and more—is a working mother of two who faces the same problems of every other woman who’s the designated home cook: How do you feed a family of picky eaters when you’re not crazy about being in the kitchen in the first place? A natural-born storyteller and terrifically engaging writer, she does what she’s done all her life—entertain us—while at the same time offering 100 not just easy but really easy-to-make, really tasty recipes.

Her stories are filled with charming crabbiness—of cooking early in the day for the two kids who eat only six things, then later for the husband who eats only about eight things, none of which share common ground with those first six; of inviting her mother-in-law for dinner and handing her an apron; of suffering HAS—Hostess Anxiety Syndrome—having the book club over and picking The Good Earth because it matches the neighborhood’s great new Chinese take-out, so no cooking involved! She wants to give a Nobel Prize to the person who invented bagged salad, and she recounts a wonderful story of making homemade turkey pot pie for the very first time—its crust tasted like rosemary-scented Play-Doh—to serve to Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford.

But crabby or not, she’s found a way to make it work, and work brilliantly. The Crabby Cook is about how to change your food-i-tude—no more garnish guilt, for example, and why “sort of homemade” is just as good as homemade (ie, knowing when to go all out with Pain-in-the-Ass Minestrone and when to settle for the almost-as-tasty Lazy-Ass Minestrone). It’s how to identify those Miracle Foods—the stuff that everyone loves, like Gobble-It-Up Turkey Chili and Tony’s Rigatoni. And even a whole survival guide—despite her HAS—to entertaining, including drinks, Whore’s

Product Details

Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Publication date:
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
File size:
2 MB

Meet the Author

Jessica Harper is a movie actress (Pennies from Heaven, Stardust Memories, Minority Report, Love and Death, and others) and children’s book author. The mother of two college-age daughters, she lives with her husband in Los Angeles.

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The Crabby Cook Cookbook: Recipes and Rants 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name: Look at the headline, idiot.<br> <p> Age: Less than twenty. If you guessed one, you are crazy. If you guessed two, you are insane. If you guessed five thousand eight hundred twenty three, you must go to a mental hospital for some "relaxation."<br> <p>Gender: Male.<br> <p>Height: About average.<br> <p>Weight: Ask me that question again, and I will murder you.<br> <p>Friends: I have a lot of friends. I will name a few of them. PFlight, Lacey/Keldeo, Rose and co, ect, ect.<br> <p>Gf/Crush: No gf. Crush, maybe. Maybe not. But someone does have a crush on me.<br> <p>Personality: Sometimes nice, clever, and mostly annoying.<br> <p>Pokemon: All of them, except for for the ones from the Kalos.<br> <p>Other: I can control fire. I also have psychic powers like the psychic gym leader, Sabrina. I have been in this rp since April. I am invincible and immortaI have a sword that can morph into a machine gun. The sword has a skull in the handle and a ruby in the skull's mouth. A touch from the sword will make you crumble into ashes. IT WILL KILL YOU. The machine gun's bullets will set you on fire, rip you in two, and make you crumble to ashes. IT WILL ALSO KILL YOU. I collect shiny pokemon. If I breed a shiny pokemon that I already have, I might give it away for free. My mansion is at relicanth. If I put five stars, I am feeling awesome. If I put four stars, I am feeling good. If I put three stars, l am feeling okay, but annoyed. If I put two stars, l am feeling pretty annoyed. If I put one star, l am feeling super annoyed and angry. That is usually the point when l start typing in capital letters to represent l am shouting.<br> <p>Likes: Pretty much everything that is about pokemon.<br> <p>Hates: Fang(Made fun of me), Purugly(Too ugly), and Magicarp(Too weak though l like Gyrados).<br> <p> THAT'S IT!!! THAT'S MY BIO!!! THANKS FOR READING!! NOW YOU CAN STOP READING!! STOP READING NOW!!!
justfara More than 1 year ago
Have you ever wanted to just laugh your way down the path of creating a menu plan? Jessica Harper does just that for you. This book is as much fun to just read as it is to follow her recipes. From the crazy way to satisfy the most picky eaters to the crazy recipes that sound nuts but taste really good, this book has it all! Also, the cocktails she includes are fantastic. I laughed all the way through and enjoyed every minute of this book. Enjoy Jessica's family, her recipes but most of all, her take on the food and the zaniness that goes with them all. I loved it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
*Name: above--age:16--height:about 4'8--weight: you dont ask a girl that!-- looks: glossy curvy black hair down to just past the shoulders(i just recently cut it), silver eyes, round heartshaped face, small nose, mascara, sparkly lip gloss, small waist, nice hips and body--wears: black silk dress that goes down to midthigh(i just recently switched my daily outfit from tshirts and miniskirts to dresses), red boots that go up to just below the knee(at least i still love boots!), emerald necklace(im starting to wear jewelry in other places besides my wrist and im still getting used to it), and my favorite charm bracelet--personality/attitude: usually nice, friendly, and sweet but can come up as snotty sometimes. Also brave, fair, noble, and willing--likes: her pokemon, good hearts, food, art, music, and anything funny--dislikes: evil hearts, mean people, and carrots-- lover: have a bf so dont crush on me!--crush: have a bf so you know who it is....--trainer rank: gold. Has beaten three regions so far which means champion of three regions--POKEMON: mew luxray charizard suicune lucario staraptor pidgeot ninetales hydreigon salamence haxorus arcanine steelix dragonite gallade gardevoir umbreon leafeon serperior blaziken empoleon latios lugia shaymin zoroak victini sceptile feraligater togekiss mighteyena rhyperior glaceon espeon slyveon fennikan typhlosion entei articuno zapdos cinnico seviper zangoose simisage samurott emboar venusaur blastoise ampharos torterra chikorita and a few others that i dont feel like mentioning--OTHER: she always lets her pokemon take turns outside of their pokeballs. But she also ALWAYS keeps mew out since it was befriended not caught--other identities: Topaz-----------*
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love that just in the sample there are several recipes and a awesome story. The real thing is way better!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Team: Typhlosion, Feraligator, Meganium. Looks: black short hair, black eyes, tan skin, and is tall. Mildly cute. Personality: friendly, shy, strong, and kind. Is very kind to pokemon anywhere anytime. Has never caught pokemon. Pokemon caught themselves for him. Very competitive.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Age: ? Gender: female looks: i'm pink blue <verry light blue> and white i have 2 scarfs and a bow tie. Traner: likes wells but he isint my traner.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Gender: female Age: 11 Looks: blond hair and bright blue eyes Crush: seriously
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Hey guys i'm Dunsparce the Dunsparce! I am a female despite my epic apperance(i am NOT derpy looking; I am BEAUTIFUL)) My age? Well im a pokemon dsnt really matter, right? Believe it or not, I was regarded as a legendary back at the hood.... okay so the "hood" was just me but you get the point. I got wings. Can fly around for a little bit. But I'm a good digger. Yepp the hood says that i am as well. I got Serene Grace as my ability. So my Headbutt is SOOOO giod that it makes ya flinch. Well actually its just my ability so...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A wild and shiny Leafeon, her natur is Jolly, and shes wild. Any trainer has a shot on her.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Piplup res 2. Add that she has a new friend named dave
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Piplup res two
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name: Duh, Emma. Gender:Obviously girl. Age:12 Hight: 'bout 5'3. Appearence: thick long brown hair she always wears up in a low ponytail. The ponytail goes a quarter way down her back and when her hair is down, it goes halfway down her back. Her bangs are pushed to the left and cover her left eye. She has brown eyes. She wears a black tshirt and jeans. She also wears a crystal necklace. She almost always has old burns on her arms and a scar that runs down her left arm. And according to almost everyone she knows, she's cute and hot. Personality: Nice, brave, tomboy, adventurous, she could do anything when she's mad. History: she doesn' t want anyone to know except people she really trusts. Dating:Nope. Crush:.... Other: She never leaves the forest, tending to avoid towns. She lives in a treehouse. She always wears her old purple backpack, which has her scythe slid through the straps. She is very close to her Pokemon and can understand them. (She never caught them, so technecly they're not hers.) They are Weavile(female), Vulpix(female), and Ninetails(male, shiny. Ninetails was the only one caught.) She is really good at climbing. She is like a squirrel when it comes to trees. She has a two year old son named Jake (shaggy blond hair and freckles) and a one and a half year old named Neko. Yeah, I know she's young. She can control fire.