Darcys Give a Ball: A gentle joke, Jane Austen style [NOOK Book]

Overview

While Jane and Lizzie plan a lavish ball at Pemberley, the Darcys' second son falls in love with the Collins' daughter, first-born Juliet Darcy is almost lured into an elopement, and Georgiana's timid daughter Lucy is the new target of Miss Caroline Bingley's meddling.

The Darcys Give a Ball is a charming and very amusing imagining of the next generation of Jane Austen's beloved characters from Pride and Prejudice and other novels, where all ...
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Darcys Give a Ball: A gentle joke, Jane Austen style

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Overview

While Jane and Lizzie plan a lavish ball at Pemberley, the Darcys' second son falls in love with the Collins' daughter, first-born Juliet Darcy is almost lured into an elopement, and Georgiana's timid daughter Lucy is the new target of Miss Caroline Bingley's meddling.

The Darcys Give a Ball is a charming and very amusing imagining of the next generation of Jane Austen's beloved characters from Pride and Prejudice and other novels, where all the young people come together for a surprising and altogether satisfying ending. Sons and daughters share the physical and personality traits of their parents, but of course have minds of their own, and as Lizzie says to Jane: "The romantic attachments of one's children are a constant distraction."

"Jane would be proud of you." -Juliet McMaster, Professor of English, University of Alberta

"A tour de force." -Marilyn Sachs, author of First Impressions
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402233234
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 3/1/2008
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 176
  • Sales rank: 746,541
  • File size: 970 KB

Meet the Author

Elizabeth Newark (San Francisco) is the author of seven children's books and has written poetry, essays on Jane Austen and Charles Dickens, and a sequel to Pride & Prejudice. She is a member of the Jane Austen Society. She was born in London and now lives in San Francisco.
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Read an Excerpt

Excerpt from Chapter 1

"... and considering Mr. Collins's character, connections, and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state."

Poor Charlotte-it was melancholy to leave her to such society-But she had chosen it with her eyes open.
- JANE AUSTEN

MRS.COLLINS?"
"Mrs. Collins? Mrs. Collins!"

As his voice rose, Mr. Collins struggled to his feet. The letter he was reading slid through his hands and he snatched at it as it fell to the floor. His chair tipped over behind him unnoticed.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that to be heir to an estate is eminently less satisfying than to be in possession of that estate. Mr. William Collins, the Rector of Hunsford, had lived with his expectations throughout a good part of his lifeĀ¬time. At first, the expectations had been those of his father, and had arisen once it became apparent that Mr. Bennet, the owner of Longbourn (the estate which was entailed on the older Mr. Collins), and the father of five daughters, was unlikely to be presented with a son by his wife. The senior Mr. Collins, an illiterate and miserly man, had inherited a quarrel with the Bennet branch of the family, which he continued to enjoy, gloating on occasion to his son over the fact that the quarrel would be finally resolved on the day the Longbourn estate became his. "An eye for an eye!" snarled the father. "So perish the ungodly!" (Young Mr. Collins had no idea of the cause of the rift or what, if anything, made these quotations appropriate.)

The son, raised in subjection and humility, had as a means of escape chosen the Church as his career, spurred on perhaps by his father's quotations from the Scriptures. Shortly after his ordination, he had by a most fortunate chance been recommended to Lady Catherine de Bourgh at a time when the living of Hunsford, which was in her gift, was vacant. The respect he felt for her high rank, and his veneration (nay, near adoration) of her as his patroness, had filled the shell of his personality left empty by his father's constant belittlement and, as a result of her approbation, he had arrived at a very good opinion of himself, of his authority as a clergyman, and of his right as a rector. He became a curious (to some people insufferable) mixture of pride and obsequiousness, self-importance and humility.

Lady Catherine, for her part, found him exactly to suit her requirements. Veneration (nay, near adoration) she felt to be her due.

On his father's death, when Mr. Collins in his turn became heir to Longbourn, he began to feel a certain curiosity regarding those five cousins he had never seen, the daughters of Mr. Bennet. The father's contempt for the son had taught him in his youth to feel unworthy; the sudden boosting of his self-esteem by his early success in obtaining an excellent living drove those feelings underground; they emerged afresh as a feeling of guilt towards his cousins, mixed with a strong and somewhat prurient interest in them as females (his mother had died shortly after his birth and there had been little exposure to the gentle sex in his life). To assuage this guilt, he sought a reconciliation by letter with Mr. Bennet, telling himself it was his duty as a clergyman, but he had another aim: he had a wife in view. His father's effect on Mr. Collins was such that, even after the father's death, the son felt uncomfortable about seeking a reconciliation. He bent over backwards to conciliate both Mr. Bennet and his dead father's shade. He wrote as follows:

"The disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late honoured father, always gave me much uneasiness, and since I have had the misfortune to lose him, I have frequently wished to heal the breach; but for some time I was kept back by my own doubts, fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with any one, with whom it had always pleased him to be at variance."

Thus advancing and retreating as if taking part in a country dance, Mr. Collins moved towards his goal. It was Mr. Collins's misfortune that when he visited Longbourn for a reconciliatory visit, of the two cousins he settled on in turn as a likely wife, first Jane, then Elizabeth, Jane was being courted by another man, and Elizabeth was of a degree of intelligence and a turn of humor that prevented her taking his offer seriously. Mary Bennet might well have been receptive to his suit but was not given the chance. As it was, Charlotte Lucas, daughter of Sir William Lucas, and close friend of Elizabeth Bennet, knowing herself to have little chance of marriage otherwise, threw herself in his way. Affronted and humiliated by Elizabeth's refusal, Mr. Collins had not questioned his own good fortune in finding Charlotte Lucas conveniently on his doorstep, so to speak. Like the Hunsford living, she had dropped into his hands; he accepted this gift from the gods and they were married as soon as conveniently possible.

Mr. Collins might well have allowed his resentment toward Elizabeth Bennet to congeal into a new breach with the Bennet family, but this his wife would not permit. And Elizabeth's marriage to Mr. Darcy, wealthy nephew of Lady Catherine, had confirmed to him that it would be best to be on good terms with the Bennets. At the time of the marriage, Mr. Bennet wrote to Mr. Collins as follows:

"Console Lady Catherine as well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by the nephew. He has more to give."

Mr. Collins deplored what he had often felt was a certain flippancy in Mr. Bennet's tone but, on due consideration, he felt the advice to be sound. He therefore, over the years, continued to bow down to Lady Catherine, while taking comfort in the knowledge that his wife was in regular correĀ¬spondence with her dear friend, Mrs. Darcy.

When finally, twelve years later, the news reached him that the estate was his, he reacted with what can only be termed high glee. "Mrs. Collins? Mrs. Collins? Longbourn is mine at last! Mrs. Collins!"

Mr. Collins was in fact so excited by the letter still clutched in his hands that he called out at the top of his voice (a voice trained by regular pontificating in the pulpit), forgetting that he was alone. Realizing this, and feeling somewhat foolish, he made haste to emerge from his study at the front of the house and go in search of his wife. The time was mid-morning, and Mrs. Collins, the former Charlotte Lucas, was hard to find. There were so many places that she might be in the execution of her housewifely duties: in the schoolroom with her older children, in the nursery with the youngest, in the kitchen instructing her cook, or with the poultry maid, inquiring why the hens were not laying, to name only a few.

"Mrs. Collins! Mrs. Collins?"

Mr. Collins continued to call in a loud and nasal voice (he suffered from chronic catarrh). His cheeks were blotched and the tip of his nose was red with excitement; his neck-bands were quite out of control. When he moved, he pranced; when he stood still, he rocked from toe to heel. Dorcas, the parlor maid, came running out of the parlor, her feather duster in hand, and stared at him open-mouthed; Ezekiel, the gardener, poked his shock of white hair through the open front door, bringing with him a pungent smell of manure; and Ellen, the cook, emerged from the kitchen armed with a sticky wooden spoon, ready to repel an invasion of gypsies.

Down the staircase, quiet and composed, came Charlotte Collins, holding her youngest daughter, Eliza, by the hand. "My dear Mr. Collins," she said. "Whatever can be the matter? Are the pigs in the garden yet again?"

Under her calm gaze, Mr. Collins stopped his fidgeting and tried to straighten his cravat. But he could not hold back his news without exploding.
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Table of Contents

Prologue
1. Hunsford Parsonage
2. Longbourn
3. Pemberley
4. Whom Shall We Invite?
5. The Invitation
6. Arrival at Pemberley
7. Interlude
8. Breakfast with Mr. Darcy
9. Opening Steps
10. Cotillion
11. Fox Among the Hens
12. Escapade
13. Charlotte

Elizabeth Newark was born in London and now lives in San Francisco. She is the author of seven children's books under the pen name Betty Dinneen, and has written poetry, essays on Jane Austen and Charles Dickens, as well as a sequel to Jane Eyre. She is a member of the Jane Austen Society.

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2008

    Disappointed.

    It did'nt come anywhere near Miss Austens style of writing. Elizabeth was made to sound like her mother and Jane was not sweet tempered, always thinking well of everyone, she was just as bad. The book was made up of butchered Jane Austen novels all of them different phrases, people and places copied and pasted into this mocking little disgrace of a 'tribute'. I was soarly disappointed when I read, with such moderate hopes, the future of these beloved characters and saw only garbage.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 22, 2010

    Great Book

    I've read some many of the "sequels" and found most to be mediocre at best. "The Darcys Give a Ball" was just great. It is a fast read; well written and well edited. The story line is touching; the plot very clever and the characters well developed. Ms. Newark focus is on Charlotte Lucas Collins and two of her children. They are interesting characters that you can't help but like. I was almost sad when then book concluded. You will enjoy this book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2009

    Horrible read.

    This author basically writes about the Darcy's throwing a ball and throws a majority of offspring from other characters in other Austen novels into the mix and in some way shape or form has them all fall in love. I love Austen and some sequels are fitting especially when characters are kept separate. I would definitely not waste my time reading this book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted September 29, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews

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