The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role of Negative Feelings / Edition 2

The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role of Negative Feelings / Edition 2

by Jane G. Goldberg
     
 

ISBN-10: 076580610X

ISBN-13: 9780765806109

Pub. Date: 08/18/1999

Publisher: Transaction Publishers

Many mothers have disturbing fantasies of killing their children. Husbands imagine, with guilt, cheating on their wives. Parents stand on the brink of hitting their teenage children, or may actually do so, while the teens fabricate elaborate strategies of revenge. Hurt, pain, uncontrollable rage, and other forms of abuse also make up the dark side of love. This

Overview

Many mothers have disturbing fantasies of killing their children. Husbands imagine, with guilt, cheating on their wives. Parents stand on the brink of hitting their teenage children, or may actually do so, while the teens fabricate elaborate strategies of revenge. Hurt, pain, uncontrollable rage, and other forms of abuse also make up the dark side of love. This landmark book has a bold thesis: The denied dark side of love that can show us love's true nature. By acknowledging our "negative" feelings, we can come into the full spectrum of emotion and hear the message of our darker feelings, without acting them out. Through this, we can increase our capacity for love.

To explain her perspective, Jane Goldberg traces the development of love and hate from infancy. She debunks simplistic myths about mother love and portrays the mother/child bond in all its facets. She explores the hidden recesses of family love and romantic love and shows how the acceptance of constructive expressions of anger, jealousy, and competition can enhance intimacy. Drawing on case histories from her psychoanalytic practice, as well as mythic stories, Goldberg offers insights into the troubling but universal nature of the dark side of love.

In a highly accessible style she explores how to develop a "psychological immune system" to protect against the potentially destructive elements in relationships and allow for a constructive expression of love's dark side. Her debate-provoking book should be read by psychoanalysts and psychotherapists, individuals who have suffered from the pains and hurts of love, and indeed, by those who are interested in human motivation and behavior.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780765806109
Publisher:
Transaction Publishers
Publication date:
08/18/1999
Edition description:
New Edition
Pages:
306
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.74(d)
Age Range:
16 Years

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsix
Introduction to the Transaction Editionxiii
Introduction1
Part ILove's Dilemmas
1The Myths of Love19
2Loving Love and Hating Hate39
3The First Face of Narcissism: The Hate That Looks Like Love67
4The Second Face of Narcissism: Destruction of the Self93
Part IIThe Chronology of Loves
5The Dark Side of Mother Love: Mother's Kisses and Dangerous Feelings119
6The Dark Side of Family Love: Violent Separations and the Children's Revenge145
7The Dark Side of Romantic Love: The Reemergence of Yearning173
8The Dark Side of Marriage: The Death of Dreams197
Part IIIOut of the Shadows and Into the Light
9The Hate That Heals217
10Cooperative Love and the Birth of Consciousness245
11The Reflective Light of Psychotherapy273
References291
Index297

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