The Divorce Club

( 764 )

Overview

The Divorce Club's personalized battle plan designed to suit your individual needs:

• Put on weight and don't shave your legs, or armpits, or any part of your body for that matter.
• Don't wash his clothes and cook rotten meals, ...

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Overview

The Divorce Club's personalized battle plan designed to suit your individual needs:

• Put on weight and don't shave your legs, or armpits, or any part of your body for that matter.
• Don't wash his clothes and cook rotten meals, preferably ones that'll give him constant diarrhea.
• Wear a thong with a mini dress and bend over in front of his friends, but only after gaining weight.

Don't forget: if you're moving, we'll help you pack and unload. If he's the one moving, we'll help you throw his belongings out the window.

A bitter divorce from a two-timing husband leaves Sarah with no money to fend for her daughter, but she won't be beaten, so she opens The Divorce Club, a meeting place for women who want to divorce their cheating husbands, but don't know how.

Soon things start to go seriously wrong. A fake client and her rising interest in him isn't Sarah's only worry; there's also the moody teenager, a stalker, and the club's personalized battle plans that start to involve more than flashing a confident smile and running a 24/7 hotline. When Sarah's ex-husband moves in without her permission in the hope to patch things up, chaos seems complete.

Full-length novel: approx. 360pp

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781463710941
  • Publisher: CreateSpace
  • Publication date: 2/8/2012
  • Pages: 336
  • Product dimensions: 5.25 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.84 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1

I'm thirty-four, the mother of a thirteen-year-old and divorced. But don't feel sorry for me because it was my own choice. You see, when the sonofabitch slash husband slash Greg decided to drop the mistress, I politely declined—and sold his priceless golf collection on the Internet in the process. I had a hard time—getting rid of him, that is—and I wouldn't wish the same begging and tears of guilt upon anyone else. That's why I'm standing in front of 21 Terrace Street on a rainy November day, waiting for the estate agent to finally make his grand entrance. Today in a fortnight I plan to open my personal revenge act on the male population and hopefully make a few bucks in the process because my daughter needs orthodontic braces and her beloved father decided to go undercover literally minutes after being told about the costs involved. Maybe one day I'll find him on the back of a milk cartoon.

A Ford pulls up and I crane my neck to get a better view. A guy, mid-thirty, tall but gangly, steps out. We make eye contact and he smiles.

"Sarah Beaver? I'm Ben Foster."

I cringe at hearing my previous, married name. Must have quoted it in a moment of fake domestic nostalgia induced by my unconscious.

"Actually, it's Sarah Davis." I hold out my hand and he grabs it in a sweaty grip. "I just got divorced."

"I'm sorry." Ben points around the corner. I follow a step behind.

"Don't be."

"There was no way you could work it out?"

I sigh. "At first I thought about it—until I found lipstick on his boxer shorts. Then it was war and I forwarded all his mail to Alaska."

"You play dirty." Ben laughs. "Have you ever made a purchase this big before?"

"Only a major league football team." I regard him from the corner of my eye, waiting to see whether he gets the joke.

Something crosses his hollow features; his brown eyes sparkle for a moment, but it's not with amusement. "Shall we get started?"

"Sure." When I step aside, letting him take the lead, I swear he checks out my cleavage. He must believe the myth that all divorcees are rich and desperate for a shag because they haven't done it in years, what with the hubby cheating with the assistant and all.

He unlocks the door and puts a hesitant palm on my shoulder. "Come on in. There's lots of natural light, for a city."

I walk past quickly, brushing off his hand, then peer around. The hall's tiny with a trail of plaster peeling from the walls. Two massive arc windows tower above me. I'm definitely sold on lightening. This alone will save me a small fortune on electric bills. The musty smell reminds me of cheese though. I can only hope it's not mildew and someone just forgot to put on clean socks this morning.

"It really brings out the highlights in your blonde hair," Ben continues.

I smile, sweetly. What next? Will he tell me rays of sunshine are bouncing off my hazel eyes? He needs to get his mind on what I came here for—real estate, so I can finally start my revenge act. I walk past, staring up at the ceiling, which seems to be in good shape. A little sweat, hard work and a coat of paint, and this place will sparkle like a jewel.

Ben points at the bathroom. "Now, that's extra spacious. You'll never find a restroom this big in such a small house with lots of shelf space for perfume or makeup. Do you see how large the mirror is? The lighting above is fantastic for putting on blush or powder. Why don't you try it out? You know, to get a feel for it."

I'll give him something to feel when I kick his butt into next week. Do I look like a powder chic? I'm a serious businesswoman. "But I'm so smitten with the floral wallpaper and the deep scratches on the floor. I'm also captivated by the giant hook on the bathroom door."

He doesn't seem to hear a word as he keeps going like a robot. "Yes! This house is perfect for you. You definitely need to get one of those soft, padded toilet seats."

I turn to face him, taking in the dark circles around his eyes and that glint that signals his brain's counting the money as we speak. "Ben, let me assure you I couldn't care less about the bathroom design. If you don't want to flush this deal down the toilet, I suggest you quit talking fluff. I don't care if my bum gets a soft landing when I use the restroom. I'm more interested in your inspections dealing with cockroaches, electrical wiring, plumbing, and heating." I pause for effect. "Give me the facts. When was it built? Is the roof in good shape? How much does it cost to heat?"

He clears his throat and adjusts his tie, regarding me. "1983. The roof's seen better days, but if anything happens the insurance company will cover the costs. Heating shouldn't be that bad given how much natural light you get. There's a second room that you could use for storage." He opens another door and I scan the scratched but still shiny, wooden floor. Storage, my butt. The space's so tiny, I could barely fit a vacuum cleaner in here.

We move to the largest room and Ben resumes his infomercial, but I've switched off as I peer out the bay window to the overgrown backyard. I've always wanted one of those instead of Greg's meticulous lawn and trimmed hedges. They were just as boring as he was in our fifteen years of marriage.

"I could get the landlord to clean that up for you." Ben clears his throat. He seems almost apologetic as he points at the rusty windowpanes, and I feel sorry for him. "I know it's not up to scratch, but it's a nice area and the price is—" He hesitates. "You said you wanted something affordable."

I hate that word. It's almost as bad as saying you're a divorced female and nearing forty. "No, don't you dare change the garden." I smile and whisper, "Why mess with perfection?"

"You'll take it?" He looks stunned, as though he doesn't believe his luck.

I nod, wondering whether I'm making a mistake here. Just as I'm considering whether to tell him I'll sleep over it, my phone beeps and I read the text message:

Don't you bail out on me!!! Xoxo

Mel must be psychic. Or she has a listening device planted in the second-hand Louis Vuitton handbag she gave me for my last birthday.

I smile, only then noticing Ben's still awaiting my confirmation. "When shall we sign the papers?" I ask.

"Right now?" He pulls out a bunch of documents and presses them into my hands, saliva almost dripping down his chin. I force myself to read through the tiny print that I usually tend to skip and sign the dotted line. Then I pull out an envelope filled with banknotes. Ben sucks on his fingertips before he starts counting. I turn away, disgusted.

Eventually, he smiles and dangles three sets of keys from his fingers. "Congratulations on your new business. What's it called?"

My insides turn hot and cold as I peer at him from under mascaraed lashes. "The Divorce Club."

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 764 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(605)

4 Star

(107)

3 Star

(13)

2 Star

(21)

1 Star

(18)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 764 Customer Reviews
  • Posted August 3, 2011

    One of the best chicklit novels I have ever read

    This is a must Summer read!!! The Divorce Club was a real page turner I could not put down. You cannot read this book in public. People will start looking at you sideways when you can't control your laughter. Definitely worth the money. If you're new to Jayde Scott, then hang on for a heart pounding author who knows how to get the blood pumping. Jayde Scott has done a phenomenal job by taking us into the daily life of an intelligent woman who tries to rebuild her life and help other women in getting them rid of their (soon to be) ex. Hilarious!

    43 out of 45 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 3, 2011

    Light chick lit romance

    Picked it up and couldn't stop reading. There's something intoxicating about Sarah, who's 34, a single mother to thirteen-year-old Sam, and unable to pay for the mortgage, her daughter's education and basic needs since the ex, Greg, decided to leave the family for a younger work colleague. Angry at the entire male population, Sarah (with the help of her friend PR guru Mel) opens a club for women who want to divorce their husbands. On the first day four women join, and these women couldn't be more different from one another. There's Shannon, the American whose husband is a cheater but she doesn't want to lose the money she's invested in her mortgage since she'd lose her visa if she divorced him. There's Simone who doesn't fancy her husband any more. There's middle-aged Lucy who's just found out her husband's gay, and then there's also Mindy who's a personal assistant and is only there for 'research'. Business exec Jamie also signs up on the first day. I won't say what's with him since I'd be spoiling the story for you. Being a single mother and juggling a business is hard work, particularly when she starts to fall for a man even though her emotional wounds haven't healed yet and since there's also a stalker on the loose who turns Sarah into an obsessive, frightened shadow of herself. With the clients' demands taking over her life and the teen blaming the divorce on Sarah, disaster is about to unfold. I really liked the tone in this story. The topic of divorce and entering the dating scene again after being someone's maid for fifteen years is a heavy one, but I think the author did a great job at infusing humour so it didn't weigh me down. Sam is a troubled child and isn't making the divorce any easier for Sarah. Having gone through it myself, I could see my own children in her. Jamie was the great and understanding man I wish I could have met after my own divorce. Mindy really stood out from the crowd as being the one who'd do anything for her career, even if it's ruining other people's lives. I started disliking her, feeling sorry for her by the middle of the book and rooting for her at the end because I could see she didn't mean what she did. Lucy was probably the least developed character. At times I wished I could read more about her but her story with the gay husband might have turned a chick lit into a drama. A great summer read with lightweight romance and several laugh out loud moments. Reminded me a bit of The Second Wives Club but with more humour, better developed characters and quite original for chick lit

    42 out of 45 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 3, 2011

    Brilliant Five Star Read

    Love. This. Book. I love that Sarah can so easily make fun of herself. Her way of thinking is just hilarious. Too many people take life way too seriously and this book offers just a nice change from the usual boring or serious books. For those who are not yet familiar with Jayde Scott's writing, I would not advise reading her books including A JOB FROM HELL at work, in class or anywhere that is unacceptable for you to burst out in gut-wrenching laughter. Don't let the cheap price fool you. You get here a superior book at an excellent value and one that will keep you biting your nails until the very last page!

    37 out of 39 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 4, 2011

    A great read at any age

    In The Divorce Club, the author of A job from Hell spins another compelling story that will keep you glued on your seat. Coming out of a difficult relationship, Sarah has been certain of three things:
    That she never wants to get back with her cheating ex and get hurt again.
    That she has to learn how to stand on her own feet and rebuild her confidence no matter how hard it is.
    That her separation with her ex will cause more problems with her rebellious teen daughter than she anticipated

    Before her divorce, Sarah was depended on her husband. After his constant cheating, Sarah has enough and comes to the conclusion that old habits die hard. With her ex not paying any child support and her facing bills, Sarah has to find a solution, and fast, and decides to open the divorce club- for women who need help to finalize the divorce process and get the support they need. But what starts out easy, becomes more complicated when a man joins the female divorce club and a series of events convince Sarah that she has caught the attention of a stalker who turns everything upside down.

    Sarah's attempt to keep everything going, the blossoming romance between her and a new lover Jamie, the story of the other 4 divorcees, and the funny rebellious daughter has kept me turning page after page. this is a fantastic, amazing, awesome book for less than 5 dollars that is filled with romance, humour, mystery, suspense and great hot characters. If you love novels, think you love novels, might love novels.....read this book. You will laugh, you will cry and you will love it.

    36 out of 38 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 25, 2011

    Highly recommended!

    My Thoughts? When you read the first sentence of this book of the free preview, all I can say is it is gripping!!! I was "in" from that very sentence. What struck me first is the fantastically visual language. The writing is so vivid that I was able to actually FEEL Sarah's anger and felt my heart pounding as I continued to read on. This story is wonderfully written. The characters are fascinating and intriguing. This was a book that was impossible to put down. This is a book I recommend to everyone. Well worth the read!!!!

    35 out of 37 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 3, 2011

    Wonderful book- give a try

    OMG. Loved it. So here is the deal: I've read other books by Jayde Scott, but The Divorce Club, I think is just the best. The voice is very convincing, the divorce just reminds me of my own. It was terrible. Even the cheating ex Greg reminded me of my own lying bastard. Were we married to the same guy? I wouldn't be surprised.

    I felt like broken glass and vowed to myself at that time never to give my heart away lightly. Ever. If I had read such a book at the time of my divorce, I think I would have recovered much quicker. Kudos to Jayde Scott. Your writing is fantastic, the psychological aspects admirable. I can honestly say I learnt from it.

    The Divorce Club is a MASTER piece in my opinion. Don't miss out on it!

    25 out of 28 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 4, 2011

    Very well written

    What a superb and well written novel! Every chapter has a new surprise. I cried, I laughed and most of all I understood the importance of the psychological impact a divorce has and how difficult it can be for a person to move on from an old life and move into a more or less balanced situation and start anew.

    I read it at every opportunity and loved every minute I spent reading. Written in true voice.You feel like you are there along with Sarah and the 4 women. It's a book for everyone no matter the age, colour or gender. Definitely a MUST read!

    23 out of 25 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 3, 2011

    Well thought out and written. Draws you right in from the very first chapter!

    Such a good story! I love the concept and really know the challenges you have to go through and struggles during and after a divorce to pay the bills and to afford a living with your children. Although I am not a mother, I have experienced this before with my mum who had to pull me and my sisters through after our father left my mum after 18 years.It was heartbreaking and traumatic to see my mother going through the dark time left with debt and no support. Still our mum tried to do everything to give us girls a good life and she did a good job. We didn't have much, but everything she did- she did it for us. So although I am not a mother, I was interested in getting this book. I hoped to learn something useful especially when I read that the topic is also about cheating.Started it one morning and found myself sneaking peeks into my kindle throughout the day at work whenever I could. The writing style of the Divorce Club is completely different than from the first book I read by J.Scott and reminded me more of Sophie Kinsella and Karen Quinn: it was a fun, a fast-moving plot with hilarious characters that were so different from one another like black and white, with some mystery and some drama.Some of the best one-liners will stay with me for a while and they never ceased to put a smile on my face or make me think about how difficult it is actually to move on from old love least of all rebuild a life and start dating again.Trust me: You do want to read the Divorce club especially if you are a busy mum or a working woman, divorced or not. I had a hard time to put this down and stayed up till 2 am on a working day to finish it.

    17 out of 18 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 19, 2012

    devoured it

    Sarah Beaver is quite the character, down to earth and hilarious, with real life problems!
    Her husband leaves her for a younger woman. With no money left and a difficult daughter on her neck, she decides to open the divorce club with her best friend. Things were supposed to take off, but as is usual trouble never is far away:

    4 different women, each with their own problems. Sexy businessman Jamie, who insists on joining. A secret stalker, who tries to ruin her business plans. Family Drama with her rebellious daughter. Conflicts with her ex, who tries to win her back the moment her life gets better.


    In the end, there is a love triangle, where Sarah has to choose between old love ( for her ex) and new love ( for Jamie)
    Never did I read such a beautiful, beautiful sweet ending.

    In overall, this is such fun, fast-paced read that left me turning pages!! Definitely worth every penny.

    15 out of 15 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 27, 2011

    2011 must read

    If you are trying to decide to read this series or not, don't wait! Trust me. This book is just amazing. It was sexy, romantic and fun. You won't forget it.

    15 out of 16 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 8, 2011

    Loved it

    Very good read- I enjoyed. I've bought many 9.99 books lately that weren't half as good! There is plenty of suspense, romance and action! You'll fall in love with these characters! Do yourself a favor and purchase this book. You'll be hooked!!

    12 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2011

    Very good

    Good chicklit book. Very funny and quite entertaining. i was tied to my sofa the entire time and completely burned the stew, so had to order pizza for the kids.

    11 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 28, 2011

    Incredible story, compelling writing

    As difficult and complex as this story is, it's easy to read and funny. And don't be stopped because it's about divorce or life as a single woman- it has more.In many ways, the author managed to open my eyes about my love life and fills this book with so much detail. You can tell when an Author puts their heart in a book. You can feel it. I highly consider everyone to give this book a try!

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 25, 2011

    Cannot say enough good things about this book

    This book was great. Exciting, Thrilling and spell binding in the best of ways. It's an absolute steal for the price, too!

    7 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 9, 2011

    LOVEEEEEE IT

    Jayde Scott is one of my new favorite authors. i can never put her books down. definitely not your typical books .I LOVEEEE IT!

    7 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 9, 2011

    Brilliant- check this out!

    This book was amazing. I could not stop reading it from beginning to end. It had me wondering what was going to happen next at all times.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 25, 2011

    Not to be missed- It's hilarious!!!

    Parts were funny, parts were touching, filled with memorable and compelling characters. Normally, once I am finished with a book, it is being deleted. This is def. one I am keeping because I know simply pulling it up and re-reading some chapters will bring me out of any funk!!

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 17, 2011

    Glad I didn't hesitate

    I really enjoyed reading this! Read the free preview first- FANTASTIC - and bought the book. was not disappointed in the least. the writer created an amazing story that has everything to keep you connected: passion, drama, humor, suspense. VERY good. you'll be hooked!

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 24, 2011

    enjoyed it

    This book was great. I read it straight through. She is a great writer and takes you through all of the emotions expertly. The imagery is fantastic and you can really get into the heads of her characters. All that being said...if you look for a good read that makes you able to laugh and relax, this is the right one for you.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 8, 2011

    can only recommend

    Usually I don't like to read books by new authors, but the cover of this one caught my eye, and the price was just the ice on the cake. This was pretty hard to put down, I loved and devoured the whole book over one weekend without stopping. If you look for something good to read, read this one. You will love it.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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