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Posted October 23, 2012
Lois Tarter has been there, done that, and now she shares her experiences on dealing with the growing popular condition called Divorce. In this easy to read book she outlines why divorce can be a beginning - a pathway out of a life that has grown unfulfilling into a new world of freedom and growth - and celebration.
Tarter takes it from the top - the immediate response to divorce, dealing and coping with the change and then deciding to chin up and take this new stage in life as a time for growth. Her statistics about the divorce rate may astound some, and may challenge others to consider whether sticking with a marriage gone sour is worth the personal and conjoined agony, and then having the big intake of breath that starts a whole new way of looking at freedom.
Her `rituals' are at once meaningful and often funny - getting rid of the clothes of the partner departed, redoing your home to be you and not the past `we', making all manner of changes in lifestyle that allow new friends to enter as well as dealing with past `shared friends', mending fences, etc. As she states when discussing her own divorce, `I needed something that was less like jumping off a bridge and more like climbing a mountain. After a divorce, it's important to feel like you're making progress. These rituals will help you move forward and you'll enjoy an incredible sense of accomplishment every time you complete one.'
Tarter lists 13 ways/rituals to `clean house', then proceeds to show how to heal with feeling - including online dating, playing old movies that make divorce an up front topic, how to survive your first apart Valentine's Day, delete instant messaging, throw a divorce party, getting involved in activities such as yoga, how to deal with holidays - all manner of self improvement.
Tarter keeps it light and this book is best suited for women - both with and without children (and she discusses dealing with children in a brief but informed manner). But as other men who are either in the throes of divorce or past the initial stun gun effect, this information is easily transferable. This is a focused self-help book directed at a specific audience. On target and witty, it should do well.