The Dolphin Way: A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids--Without Turning into a Tiger

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Overview

In this inspiring book, Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist and expert in human motivation Dr. Shimi Kang provides a guide to the art and science of inspiring children to develop their own internal drive and a lifelong love of learning. Drawing on the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, Dr. Kang shows why pushy “tiger parents” and permissive “jellyfish parents” actually hinder self-motivation. She proposes a powerful new parenting model: the intelligent, joyful, playful, highly social dolphin. ...

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The Dolphin Way: A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids-Without Turning into a Tiger

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Overview

In this inspiring book, Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist and expert in human motivation Dr. Shimi Kang provides a guide to the art and science of inspiring children to develop their own internal drive and a lifelong love of learning. Drawing on the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, Dr. Kang shows why pushy “tiger parents” and permissive “jellyfish parents” actually hinder self-motivation. She proposes a powerful new parenting model: the intelligent, joyful, playful, highly social dolphin. Dolphin parents focus on maintaining balance in their children’s lives to gently yet authoritatively guide them toward lasting health, happiness, and success.

As the medical director for Child and Youth Mental Health community programs in Vancouver, British Columbia, Dr. Kang has witnessed firsthand the consequences of parental pressure: anxiety disorders, high stress levels, suicides, and addictions. As the mother of three children and as the daughter of immigrant parents who struggled to give their children the “best” in life—Dr. Kang’s mother could not read and her father taught her math while they drove around in his taxicab—Dr. Kang argues that often the simplest “benefits” we give our children are the most valuable. By trusting our deepest intuitions about what is best for our kids, we will in turn allow them to develop key dolphin traits to enable them to thrive in an increasingly complex world: adaptability, community-mindedness, creativity, and critical thinking.

Life is a journey through ever-changing waters, and dolphin parents know that the most valuable help we can give our children is to assist them in developing their own inner compass. Combining irrefutable science with unforgettable real-life stories, The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The book makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability—is the dolphin way.
 

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What People Are Saying

From the Publisher
"Combining scientific research with personal stories, Kang has a soothing and encouraging tone that will appeal to many readers. By encouraging parents to model dolphins, who instruct by play, exploration, social bonds, altruism, contribution, and family and community values, kids will strengthen their own internal compass and have a stronger core with a greater chance at personal success and happiness. "
—Library Journal (STARRED REVIEW)

“With insight, professional expertise and unfailing instinct, Dr. Shimi Kang provides essential guidance in restoring sanity to 21st Century parenting. Compassionate to parent and child, loving and reasoned in its approach, The Dolphin Way is highly readable, emotionally nurturing and intellectually satisfying.
—Gabor Maté, M.D., co-author of Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers
 
“If you're looking for effective but practical strategies to calm the chaos in your kids' lives, foster their internal motivation and truly prepare them to function successfully in the adult work - read this book! Using concrete evidence, Dr. Kang shows why “Tiger” approaches to parenting do more harm than good. Her Dolphin approach will have you and your kids cheering.  Highly recommended!”
—Amy McCready, Founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time...The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling
 
"In The Dolphin Way, Dr. Shimi Kang writes insightfully of the real lives of parents, weaving science with spirit, and embedding highly practical suggestions into every chapter. I highly recommend this book!"
—Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls
 
“Ready to give your kids back their childhood—the part YOU loved? The joy? The creativity? The afternoons you still remember with such longing? If you're driving your kid to the lessons neither of you likes, instead of giving yourselves BOTH a chance to relax, play or just ‘waste’ time, it's time to turn around the car. This book is your U-turn to joy.”
—Lenore Skenazy, author of the book and founder of the blog Free-Range Kids

"The Dolphin Way is an excellent parenting tool to implement in our daily life to help guide our children to be happy and healthy. She focus on adaptability and uses fantastic resources and examples from her own experience to solidify her case. An excellent read through and through. The Dolphin Way is a parenting guide that every home should own."
—Working Mommy Journal

"I think this is a fantastic book to revolutionize your parenting approach."
—Along Came Kids

"Dr. Kang gives us a lot to think about. It’s a good read, with eye-opening examples and many practical suggestions for incorporating some of this thinking into your own life. The Dolphin Way offers a roadmap for finding a little more balance in the way we parent, so that we can help our children become happy, successful, independent, and self-motivated adults."
—Daniela Duriavig, Life Over Easy

"I want you to read The Dolphin Way. Unlike trendy books, I believe that it’s here for the long-run. It’s not a formula or a recipe or a how-to parent, but rather a roadmap for helping our children achieve a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment. And really, what more do we want as parents?"
Mara Shapiro, Be Nice Or Leave Thanks

"This book conveys a lot of information and prompts considerable self-reflection. I found it a very worthwhile read. In addition to the prescriptions, there are lots of great quotations, helpful acronyms and checklists in this book. And beyond prompting parents to assess whether they’re happy with the way they’re parenting (and if not, to make some changes), it also provides a bit of a road map to help each of us find a little more balance in lives."
Out and About with the GeoKs

"This book really opened my eyes to the idea that balance in parenting is as important as balance in life. Dr Kang uses evidence based research to make her points about the importance of being an authoritative parent. I feel like this book has made me understand much better the kind of parent that I want to be and I know that it will very dog-eared from all my referencing as my son grows up."
—Emma Finlayson, Savvy Mom

"I would be shocked if this book did not make almost any parents take a long, hard look at themselves and their schedule and the life they are leading and ask some very hard questions.  What I can only hope is that parents will implement the answers."
MBA Mama Musings

"If you were to pick just one book on parenting this year, I would recommend The Dolphin Way."
Motherless Moments
 

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780399166044
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 5/1/2014
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 437,257
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 1.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Shimi Kang, M.D., is the medical director for Child and Youth Mental Health for Vancouver and a clinical associate professor at the University of British Columbia. Dr. Kang has helped hundred of children, adolescents, and parents move toward positive behaviors and better mental health.
 

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 29, 2014

    The Dolphin Way by Dr. Shimi Kang has made a profound impact on

    The Dolphin Way by Dr. Shimi Kang has made a profound impact on the way I view parenting. Dr. Kang utilizes her years of expertise as a Psychiatrist to encourage her readers to take on a new style of parenting - the dolphin way. She highlights a key idea in that we are in a new age; an age that requires parents to emphasize creativity, collaboration, and critical thinking. However, the most impressive asset of Dr. Kang's first book is the fact that it provides helpful advice in the daily lives of a parent and child. Ultimately, Dr. Kang's The Dolphin Way is a must read for all, and I highly recommend it becomes a part of your very own parenting repertoire.   

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 6, 2014

    The Dolphin Way helped me balance out my life and made me a bett

    The Dolphin Way helped me balance out my life and made me a better parent. It is the first parenting book i read where I did not feel guilty or overwhelmed - but rather empowered to live a healthier, happier life. The case for 21st century success and CQ - creativity, communication, collaboration, critical thinking helped me realize that if i wanted my kids to compete in this modern world i better stop being a pushing micromanaging tiger parent! I felt that instead of an expert telling what to do, i had a friend with expertise guiding me to do better. it is an easy read and  definitely worth getting. i am giving it to all my friends and kids teachers! 

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