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From painfully obvious steroid revelations to sex scandals and superstars who announce trades in over-the-top TV specials, the wide world of sports can often seem too ridiculous for words. Well, attention sports fans: In The Ecstasy of Defeat, the editors of The Onion offer the laugh-out-loud funny and long overdue lampoon of sports culture you've been waiting ...
From painfully obvious steroid revelations to sex scandals and superstars who announce trades in over-the-top TV specials, the wide world of sports can often seem too ridiculous for words. Well, attention sports fans: In The Ecstasy of Defeat, the editors of The Onion offer the laugh-out-loud funny and long overdue lampoon of sports culture you've been waiting for.
Filled with the very best of The Onion's bench-clearing sports coverage, this book includes such classics as:
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Q&A with Anabolic Steroids
We haven't heard as much from you lately, fill us in on what you've been up to?
Well let me start off by saying that HGH deserves all the attention its been getting lately, and it's been nice to step out of the limelight a bit. But I've been around, working with some up and coming athletes. You need to remember that HGH is just one chemical compound, I'm a family. There are aspects of me you haven't even dreamed of, yet.
You've been notoriously media averse, what made you decide to participate in this project by The Onion?
I can't say I've been media averse, The Onion just did what any reputable news outlet does—and frankly what athletes have been doing for years—they came to me. I've always respected The Onion, but for the most part I'm willing to work with anybody. The Onion was a particularly nice fit, though, as I feel they've done for sports journalism what I've done for the game of baseball: made it exciting.
Did you read Ecstasy Of Defeat before writing your forward? If so, what was your opinion of it?
Every word. And I'm proud to see myself mentioned so much. Seeing yourself in the page of Sports Illustrated or the New England Journal Of Medicine is one thing, but making it into the page of The Onion is how you know you've made it. They weren't always kind to me, sure, but in fairness I was hanging out with Barry Bonds so I kind of had it coming.
Mind sharing one of your proudest moments in sports?
People might expect me to say all the broken records or championships, but no. It's working with kids. To see the smiles on their broad faces as I help them reach their full potential and beyond, it helps remind me why I got into sports in the first place.
What are your thoughts on the way baseball has attempted to clean up its act since you made so many headlines several years ago?
I'm sorry, I guess I don't follow your question. Clean up its act? Just turn on the World Series this week, I'll be there.
How did you get your start in professional sports?
When I started out I was raw, unrefined. But like everybody else in sports, I really owe a lot to the coaches, managers, and owners who helped find a place for me in professional sports. Without all them, my career would never have been possible.
Who has been your favorite athlete to work with?
I don't care if it sounds a little corny, but really, I don't think my work has ever been put on display quite like it was with Barbaro. That horse was an inspiration to millions, it's just a shame the way things ended. Sadly, I've had to see things end that way all too often in my line of work.
Any parting words for our readers?
One thing I've learned from my work in sports is you should never let anybody tell you what you can and can't do. If you want something badly enough, there is always a way to achieve your dream. But remember that it will take more than simply desire. It might take hard work, it might take dedication, or sometimes it might take steroids.