The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy [NOOK Book]

Overview


Hookup culture dominates the lives of college students today. Most students spend hours agonizing over their hopes for Friday night and, later, dissecting the evenings’ successes or failures, often wishing that the social contract of the hookup would allow them to ask for more out of sexual intimacy. The pressure to participate comes from all directions—from peers, the media, and even parents. But how do these expectations affect students themselves? And why aren’t parents and universities helping students make ...
See more details below
The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$14.49
BN.com price
(Save 44%)$25.99 List Price

Overview


Hookup culture dominates the lives of college students today. Most students spend hours agonizing over their hopes for Friday night and, later, dissecting the evenings’ successes or failures, often wishing that the social contract of the hookup would allow them to ask for more out of sexual intimacy. The pressure to participate comes from all directions—from peers, the media, and even parents. But how do these expectations affect students themselves? And why aren’t parents and universities helping students make better-informed decisions about sex and relationships?

In The End of Sex, Donna Freitas draws on her own extensive research to reveal what young men and women really want when it comes to sex and romance. Surveying thousands of college students and conducting extensive one-on-one interviews at religious, secular public, and secular private schools, Freitas discovered that many students—men and women alike—are deeply unhappy with hookup culture. Meaningless hookups have led them to associate sexuality with ambivalence, boredom, isolation, and loneliness, yet they tend to accept hooking up as an unavoidable part of college life. Freitas argues that, until students realize that there are many avenues that lead to sex and long-term relationships, the vast majority will continue to miss out on the romance, intimacy, and satisfying sex they deserve.

An honest, sympathetic portrait of the challenges of young adulthood, The End of Sex will strike a chord with undergraduates, parents, and faculty members who feel that students deserve more than an endless cycle of boozy one night stands. Freitas offers a refreshing take on this charged topic—and a solution that depends not on premarital abstinence or unfettered sexuality, but rather a healthy path between the two.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Freitas, a novelist and assistant professor of religion at Boston University, wants “young men and women of all sexual orientations to have great sex—if having sex is what they want.” If it isn’t, she’s cool with that too. Her newest work of nonfiction (after 2010’s Sex and the Soul) is a scathing and reasoned attack on the casual-sex culture at American universities, which is marked not by free love, but by pressure to have as much sex with as little emotional connection as possible (and often while drunk). Through interviews and demographic surveys, Freitas constructs an anthropological survey on what hooking up and dating (or its absence) look like on campuses today. She lays out convincing arguments against this harmful kind of sexual culture—one that degrades women to the status of objects, and consigns men to a life of constantly assuaging sexual anxieties—but her advice is rarely scolding or prudish. She encourages mindfulness and an open dialogue about what students want to get out of sex, and her remedies (which include temporary periods of abstinence and a return to the traditional date) should provide, if not solutions, at least inspiration for parents and college staff in talking to students about how to have better relationships, and better sex. If that’s what you’re into. (Apr. 2)
From the Publisher

The Atlantic
"[An] important, wise, and brave new book...The short book, written in the style of an informative and impassioned pamphlet, is painfully accurate in its assessment of the idiocy that passes for sexuality in the dormitory. Freitas' argument is well-researched and well-grounded, and she is sharp enough to condemn hookup culture on sexual grounds, rather than ethical grounds.... Her indictment couldn't be stronger.... Freitas's work is important because it offers a third way toward sexual independence and autonomy in an America caught between Puritanism and pornography. Rather than morally condemning college students for promiscuity or telling them to treat romance with the detached analysis of the headhunter, she is promising them that better sex—more fun, excitement, and intensity—is available."

Wall Street Journal
"Illuminating.... Using extensive survey research and dozens of interviews with young men and women on college campuses across the country, Ms. Freitas explodes the myth of the 'harmless hookup.'... Freitas’s book is a timely and alarming wake-up call to students, college administrators and parents, and she presents a compelling argument against the hookup culture.”

Boston Globe
“[A] straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening book…. This compelling testimony from young people around the country provides ample evidence for why this campus lifestyle should not be ignored.”

Christianity Today
“Freitas provides compelling evidence that far too many young adults live lives of quiet desperation—sexually and socially...The End of Sex paints a vivid portrait of hookup culture…There is much in The End of Sex to applaud.”

Toronto Star
“The book is informative, non-judgmental and a must-read for parents and for their university-aged kids although once you become immersed in it you’ll be screaming (as I was), ‘Oh spirit, show me no more.’ But keep reading and start figuring out a new conversation with the kids — or they may never know ‘what love’s got to do with it.'"

Publishers Weekly
“[A] scathing and reasoned attack on the casual-sex culture at American universities…. [Freitas] encourages mindfulness and an open dialogue about what students want to get out of sex, and her remedies (which include temporary periods of abstinence and a return to the traditional date) should provide, if not solutions, at least inspiration for parents and college staff in talking to students about how to have better relationships, and better sex.”

Lauren Sandler, author of Righteous and One and Only
“You may think you know about hookup culture, but unless you have read Freitas’s clear, compassionate, and complete study, you have no idea. Instead of gleaning the state of intimacy of an entire generation from a few subjects, Freitas surveys and interviews thousands of students, and the vast scope of the pervasive hookup culture she discovers is stunning. I recommend this book to men and women alike, students and professors, parents and kids—anyone with a personal or social interest in physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and the widening chasm in between. Whether you spar with Freitas’s conclusions, or feel liberated by them, The End of Sex is simply indispensable.”

Kirkus Reviews
"The digital generation" would perhaps be surprised to learn that the cultural mores around sexual relationships have an ebb and flow to them--that "hookup culture," as it's commonly referred to now, is similar to the way things were back in the 1960s. The difference can be found in the underlying motivations. While the '60s were about breaking the shackles of a conservative society, the current wave of promiscuity seems to be a factor of boredom, of not having a template for what a "relationship" means, and of the barriers around pornography dropping as the Internet grows. Freitas (Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America's College Campuses, 2008, etc.) explores her experiences with college students who, she suggests, are fed up with the emptiness and trivialization of the hookup culture. Pornography has gone from an illicit pleasure to something more akin to "research," and the constant access afforded to the always-connected youth has resulted in a sort of expectation that the roles in pornography are the roles males and females should play if they want to fit in. Freitas examines the dogged persistence of the boys-will-be-boys stereotype that starts at an early age and is reinforced throughout childhood and adolescence; the stigma of college virginity; and the informality and "relaxed" nature of hookup culture, as opposed to the formal dinner-and-a-movie first date (or any date). She questions the role of the HBO show Girls, with its portrayals of the sex lives of women as sources of boredom and depression--is the show simply mirroring culture, or is it also reinforcing it? Freitas poses more questions than she answers, and the "practical guide" of ways to affect change only amounts to a scant few pages in an appendix, with little attention to the role of technology and the narcissism perpetuated by social networking. It's good to sound the alarm, but having a plan to go with it would be welcome.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780465037834
  • Publisher: Basic Books
  • Publication date: 4/2/2013
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 508,318
  • File size: 363 KB

Meet the Author


Donna Freitas is the author of Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance and Religion on America’s College Campuses, and she has lectured at more than seventy-five colleges and universities around the country on hookup culture and how college students today find meaning (or don’t) during the college experience. She lives in Brooklyn.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)